Wednesday, September 13, 2006

What Has Eight Legs and Wants to Sit on Your Baby's Head?

First off, thanks to the peeps that read my last entry. I apologize if it came off as flippant. It wasn’t meant to be. I guess this is why I’m not a writer and a paper pusher instead huh?

Onto more exciting topics! Some of you may know about The Baby Shower.

I was invited to a baby shower for an expecting co-worker. I’ve worked at this new job for two months and three days.

I have no clue who this woman is.

Since I can’t tell her from Adam I shall call her Mrs. Adam. Mrs. Adam is a faculty member. Her shower is being hosted by four other faculty members. I could pick one of these faculty members out of a crowd of four, and quite honestly that’s only because she’s new herself. We can smell our own kind.

Regardless of my feelings on how tacky it is to hold said baby shower during office hours and to invite everyone in the office regardless of whether or not they actually know a person, I guess I’ll go. Yes, people who work here might be offended if they aren’t invited regardless of whether they know Mrs. Adam. However, the last time I checked I wasn’t invited to _________________ (Bob/Bubba/Bambi)’s ________________ (Bar Mitzvah/Trailer Housewarming Party/Miss Corncob Paegant) either, and I’ve not lost any sleep over it.

Because I’m weird and quite honestly despise giving people “normal” shower gifts (whether I know you or not), I have to make this gift odd too. This will definitely go down as my one of my favorites next to the pooping moose candy “dish” we gave to a dear friend of The Mad Scientist when he was married, and the marital advice money I gave my brother, Bub, when he got married earlier this year. I gave Bub and his new wife a check for $40 and to spice it up (because c’mon, how boring is a check!), a five dollar bill and five one dollar bills. I made cartoon bubbles out of paper, wrote snarky marital advice on the bubbles, and affixed them with that repositionable fixative you can buy for scrapbooking onto the cash. Allegedly they framed the bills. They’re still married nine months later. Don’t know if that’s because they heed Honest Abe’s advice or not! Ha ha!

So I present to you the start of the Black Widow Baby Hat:


It’s in its infancy stages right now (pun completely intended). My master plan involves affixing eight i-cordish legs to the hat and a little “head” for the spider. I think it will be kind of cute.

One thing I’ve forgotten about in knitting this, is how much I hate colorwork. My hat is off (pun again intended) to those can strand one or more colors throughout their knitting. Yikes.

Stay tuned. If the final product turns out decent, maybe I’ll be able to offer a pattern and finally fulfill the need of knitters everywhere to cover the heads of their offspring/relatives/unknown coworker’s babies with a knitted poisonous spider.

A special thanks goes out to a certain renowned knitwear designer herself for planting the seed in my brain for this. She knows who she is, but shall remain nameless until I know she’s okay being known to have aided a madwoman. Ha ha!


Blogger Elizabeth said...

I'm thrilled you're running with it.

(I'm kind of a mad woman myself.)

7:02 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

I have to post again: the new verification word is

Dr. Vku: a great villain in a science fiction/horror movie not yet made.

7:02 PM  
Blogger Starfish said...

Weird. I guess they didn't want to insult anyone. It's nice of you to make something handmade, even if it is of the deadly arachnid variety. Hope we get the pattern.

10:27 PM  
Blogger Rain said...

Hee hee. I love your baby hat and you've not even finished it yet!

I find the whole concept of baby showers odd, we don't do them in the UK - gifts tend to be given once the baby is born.

5:34 AM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

I'm totally imagining the gasps and subsequent stammering when Mrs. Adam opens this little gem. Are you going to own up to it immediately or look over your shoulder like "wasn't me..." ?

- Former Miss Corncob

6:54 AM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

Ooooh this is gonna be good! I can't wait to hear how it's received.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

We haven't had a pregnancy in our office in a while - but the same sort of things happen. I guess people are just trying to be sociable - but it is awkward nonetheless.

8:34 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

I can't wait to see this hat!!

9:06 AM  
Blogger Cheesy Knit Wit said...

Itsy bitsy spider climbs up the water spout.....

I don't attend any showers at work baby or bridal. They are silly, IMO.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Stacie said...

offices, eek! will there be cake?? then ok! I lvoe the idea, and can't wait to see the finished hat! Mrs. Adam is a lucky preggo co-worker!

10:09 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Ooooh! That is so cool!

Can't wait to see the spider baby hat! You must take a pic with the baby too if at all possible!


12:31 PM  

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