Thursday, January 04, 2007

Kootchie Awareness Yarn Extravaganza

JANUARY 2009: With bittersweetness I have decided to retire the Kootchie Awareness Yarn Extravaganza. Thanks to all who have participated and/or pimped this contest the past two years!! And remember to have your cooter rooted!

Woot! Give it up y’all! (Alright fine, I’ll accept my Texas-cyber accent.)


Here it is! Just in time for Cervical Cancer Awareness Month—it’s the 411 on my Kootchie Awareness Yarn Extravaganza (KAYE)!

Please note there are no knitted labia to make, no crocheted vaginas to assemble—no knitting/crocheting whatsoever—just yarn!!



The Knitter/Crocheter/Yarn Enthusiast.

You’re person who tirelessly knits socks for Mongolians, blankets for homeless people, baby hats for preemies, scarves for orphans; or you’re the person that may not be into the charity knitting, but you still knit a scarf for your naked-necked husband or wife to keep out a cold draft; or you’re possibly even just the person that enjoys knitting for her/himself.

The underlying theme of my Kootchie Awareness Yarn Extravaganza is that we’re taking care of US for a change. Because who’s going to knit all that stuff for orphans, relatives or ourselves (yes "ourselves" sounds kind of ridiculous when asked in this question--but go with it!) if we’re not around???


I’m operating this much like a year long blog contest. Read the “How” to figure out how you get your name in the pot, but names will be randomly drawn from the pot to determine a monthly prize winner. The monthly prize winner will win yarn-y goodness.

How is this Cheapass financing this? Good question. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Don’t worry you won’t be winning a prize basket full of fun fur and Red Heart!


Starting January 1, 2008 and continuing through December 31, 2008. A monthly winner will be drawn from the monthly pool of names at the end of each month. Names will not roll over from month-to-month.

Now if you had your cooter rooted in January but forgot/didn't learn of the contest until February (or any month thereafter) you're still eligible. The month you send me your name letting me know you've had it done--that's the month you're eligible to have your name drawn.


As some of my regular blog readers know, cervical cancer is an issue near and dear to me. My sister in law was diagnosed with Stage 3 last year and luckily was able to have it removed with massive surgery and no chemo or radiation treatments.

A close coworker was diagnosed with Stage 1 cervical cancer in December and will be going in for surgery next week.

Both cases were easily preventable if they had just gone in for their yearly pap smear. But for one reason or the other they put it off until it was too late.

I also know of many people (*cough* Mom! *cough*) that haven’t been in for an annual spread n’scrape (or as my sister T. so graciously calls it--a “cooter rootin’”) in years.

Cervical cancer kills more than 3,900 women in the U.S. per year. Ok, yeah that’s not as much as your more publicized disease like breast cancer, but it’s my pet-disease and I’m going with it!! I’ve always had a soft spot for the underdog.


Right here at this blog baby! I thought about setting up a separate blog for this but since there won't be too much day-to-day excitement like say a KAL, I’ll merely post updates and winners on my regular blog.


Ho, ho! Here’s where you have to pay attention!

1. Schedule your yearly pap smear. (See Sticky Issues/FAQs if you cannot do this.)

2. Complete said pap smear.

3. As soon as you COMPLETE your exam, let me know. At this time your name will be entered into the master spreadsheet and therefore you will be in the running for winning a monthly prize. I really don't care about your results. That's your business. If you want to share, cool, but I don't want you to feel pressured to break a bunch of HIPAA rules all in the name of free yarn.

Email me your completion notification and email address to rkbezzie @ gmail . com (obviously delete the spaces).

3. Sit back, cross your fingers and hope that your name is drawn for the monthly prize.

Sticky Issues and What I’m Sure Are To Be FAQs:

Bezzie, great idea, but I’m a man/was born without a cervix/lost my cervix in the war/had my cervix removed/my real name is Ima Virgin—am I barred from entering?

Heck no! I’m all about the equal rights in the procurement of yarn! I’m just setting forth a different set of requirements for you!

If for some reason you are unable to have a pap smear I’m asking that tell SEVEN other knitters/crocheters/someone who digs the yarn about the Kootchie Awareness Yarn Extravaganza. You should email me their blog address (if they have one—not a requirement), or first name if they don’t have a blog (I won’t ask last names as a sake of privacy).

I didn’t win the first monthly prize I was eligible for—am I out of the running?

Yes, you're out of the running. You weren't last year. But due to people whining about the fairness of the old method, you're screwed this year. Sorry.

If perhaps a grand prize is offered for the end of 2008, then your name will be in the running for that.

What’s preventing me from just telling you that I had my exam/told seven people about your contest to be entered?

Wow. If you’re going to lie about this just to get a chance to win free yarn, dude, you’ve got bigger issues than cervical cancer awareness to worry about.

I get my exam every year. Is this contest just for people that haven't had one in a while?

Nope! Everyone's invited to join!

I live outside the U.S. am I eligible?

Of course!

I don’t knit. Can I still enter?

Sure, as long as you don’t mind possibly winning a bunch of yarn.

I discovered this contest AFTER I had my 2008 exam done--can I still enter?

Yup! Just zing me your name in an email (see above for the address).

Bezzie, I have a question that you haven't covered in these FAQs--what do I do?

I'm sure someone will find some question to ask that I haven't answered or come up with some aspect of this that crazy scheme that I haven't thought about. I'll do my best to read your comments and post answers back in this original post.

* * *

You're under no obligation to join this crazy scheme. If you merely read this blog entry and the crazy chick in curlers blowing bubbles crosses your mind a day/week/month later when you make your appointment, then we're all winners.

It’s all about spreading the word and getting it done! That five minutes of discomfort sitting in the stirrups while someone takes the worlds most uncomfortable Q-tip to your cervix is never fun, but look at the alternative.

My sister in law could have easily left a husband with three young kids to raise on his own and my coworker could have left two kids and a grandkid.

We have to do this for ourselves. Those scarfless orphans, chilly Mongolians, and sockless Grandpa Bubbas are counting on you taking care of yourself so you can knit them more stuff!!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok! I am in but I don't want to win any yarn. Could a fat quarter of fabric be subituted? On second thought better not my sewing room has more than enough in it. Birdie and John were wondering why I had "Planned Parenthood" bookmarked. Hahahahahahaha!!!!! They think that I am PG!!!! Hahahahahaha! Am still looking for an MD. Love, Mom

10:49 AM  
Blogger LilKnitter said...

I love this, Bezzie! I feel strongly about cervical cancer awareness too (and huzzah for the new vaccine!). I already had mine scheduled for the end of January. This makes it less...objectionable!

10:55 AM  
Blogger sgeddes said...

You made it so fun ... "annual spread n’scrape or a cooter rootin’ " How could someone not join? :)

No - Actually it is a great idea and I'm in. My annual exam is in April each year.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

I'm in too! However, I'm not due until july for my cooter rootin. And the Ontario government is very picky about trying to do things early. Which is stupid, since it is cheaper to do a Pap smear than surgery. Duh!

11:58 AM  
Blogger KnitterBunny said...

I go every March on the last day of spring break. What a day to look forward to, eh? I'll be joining in though.

My best friend Cami was diagnosed with cervical cancer last summer (she's 23) and had to have minor surgery. So far she's cancer free. It just makes prevention that much more important to me.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great idea! Just heard the other day that 4100 women die in a year from cervical cancer.


12:54 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Very cool Bezzie! Not my favorite 3 minutes of the year, but certainly an important and necessary 3 minutes.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

I'm in! Mine gets done in early summer! I had pre-cancer cells develop & even that was no picnic of a treatment, but hey, like you said-the alternative is NOT an option. They have vaccines too for the virus that causes it. Both my girls will get it. Does NOT replace annual checkups though. That's only 1 cause. Speaking of causes, girl, your gonna get a rep for being extra special nice and caring and generous! Careful;)

1:19 PM  
Blogger cpurl17 said...

Great Idea! My cooter rootin time is in the August time frame but you know I'm in!

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YES! Sign me up, Bezzie! You rule the cervical cancer awareness universe! I must admit that I have missed two years of cooter rootin myself, bad me. I did, however, just make an appt. yeasterday! What are the odds? Now I can't wait to spread 'em! This will be the most anticipated pap test in my life!

1:42 PM  
Blogger helen said...

never had anything done down there. but now's the time! I've resolved to go to the doctor (once i find one) before the wedding. so yup, count me in!

1:59 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Hey! I got my yearly In September! Can I still be in!

I went and had it done...and I was nervous...last year I had to have some further test. Better safe than sorry!

2:07 PM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

Ok, Cooter Rootin is the funniest thing I've heard since... well, since Long Donged Doggies or whatever you wrote yesterday.

2:34 PM  
Blogger AR said...

My appointment will be in August. I'll be back to enter. Hehehe

I hope your SIL and coworker will both be ok. Scary stuff!

3:24 PM  
Blogger Denice said...

Just had mine done after my daughter was born in September. I think the acutal test was in November. So, I'll be back in November to enter.

This is a great idea for your blog. As if it wasn't wonderful enough already, now it has a cause, too!

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I can't! I had my GYN appt in the fall and they said that since I am on the safe track they would only be doing the pap smear every three years now rather than every year :(

5:30 PM  
Blogger Bezzie said...

But Jo, all you have to do is spread the word instead! I included a clause for people that couldn't do it!

5:39 PM  
Blogger Rain said...

I have to admit to being glad that it's only done every three years in the UK for women under a certain age. I had my thatch scratched last year :)

Great campaign though!

5:45 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Um..will let you's sometime soon! hehe...Rain kills me!! As you do my dear! :)

6:31 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Well, our family doctor has relocated, and we've been getting notices in the mail for the last four months or so, and I've been procrastinating. I scheduled appointments for all five us today - the receptionist found it a bit of a challenge to find three consecutive hours available on the doctor's schedule :).

So, not only will I be getting my annual "spread 'n scrape", but the rest of my family will also be getting their annual pokes and prods ... and hubby might even have to do a "bend and cough" (hee, hee).

Isn't togetherness grand?

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think this is a neat idea for a contest, but I thought I would take this opportunity to share something I learned at my last pap (which was Dec 2006) - women who have had 3 normal paps in a row are now recommended to get pap smears only once every 3 years. Nice to know I won't have to deal with it again until 2009!

8:33 PM  
Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

Yup...I just had a normal I'll start spreading the word.

11:23 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Bezzie, I am hoping on your Kootchie train!!! LOL

Can I use that button on my site and how do I do it???

I am being followed every 6 months after having a cone biopsy last March for bad bad cells. I go again in February.

I am/was a every year gal too...I never missed so I am lucky things were caught early. Even still it was a stressful time.

Hats off to you or maybe rather pants off to you.....LOL for helping spread the word!!!!

12:08 AM  
Anonymous kristi and otis said...

Why did you move out of Lansing??? We could have had a a riot! I just had my pap test done at my last week's OBGYN 6 week follow-up - does this count?

1:16 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

Oh my Bezzie you are the greatest- this is just the encouragement I need to get back on the horse (so to speak) after my 1st traumatic experience 8 years ago- i have not been back since but now and determined that this year will be the one-

Everyone please feel free to browbeat me into actually making the appointment.

7:41 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

But I like fun fur! :) No really, I do. I need to get to the Dr. anyway, it's been a couple years, so I'm in. Maybe the yarn bribery will be a good motivator.

11:16 AM  
Blogger weezalana said...

OMG!!! LOFL!!! Cooter rootin!!!! I just spewed a mouthful of water at my monitor!

P.S. I am more than happy to contribute some yarn to the cause. Drop me an email hon - :)

3:18 PM  
Blogger knit_tgz said...

I really need to convince myself to do this! (I never, ever had a pap smear... and I'm 30).

3:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm pregnant, doctors are looking at my cervix pretty constantly. I even got a peek with the love-wand ultrasound stick. Pap smear is in Sept, though... I can wait.

1:45 PM  
Blogger Teyla said...

What a wonderful idea. I had my pap smear done Oct 27, 2006 right before my birthday. It was negative. At work I have a Cervical Cancer awareness tree decorated with teal and white ribbons. Once again great idea!!

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Cyndi said...

What a wonderful cause!!!

I'd gladly donate some homespun yarn to you - Maybe some alpaca, or icelandic or jacob or mohair or leicester or corridale or polypay or or or or ...

let me know at mullerslanefarm At yahoo

9:55 AM  
Blogger knitten kitten said...

Bezzie ,

Great thing you're doing here! I'm on board. Look for my email mid-March.

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Rhonda said...

This is so great! I was diagnosed with Stage 2 two years ago and they were able to remove all of the cells. Now that they have a shot for it everyone needs to get it NOW! Its too late for me but for everyone that has not had a problem ask your doctor.
I'm giving you a standing ovulation!

7:09 AM  
Anonymous mel said...

Bezzie, you rock - this is awesome!!!

6:31 AM  
Blogger Darcy said...

I have lapsed by not finding a new gyn doctor since I moved nearly 4 years ago, and I had my last exam before I left my old town. But I found out about your crusade, and this morning I called to schedule my exam, and it will be in mid-March. Thanks for lighting a fire under all of us who let this exam fall by the wayside. I don't even have health insurance, and I'm still going to go anyhow.

12:47 PM  
Blogger lynnm said...

Count me in! I had mine today. Love this idea.

4:24 PM  
Anonymous jennifer said...

Recently, I was reading about yet another a blog contest, and I was rolling my eyes. I am such a cynic about somethings but I park my vitriol at the blog door and figure whatever floats your boat is fine by me. But Kootichie Awareness!? YeeeHa! Now here is something I can totally get *um* behind. I'm the mother of three girls for whom I try to set a fine example. I'd also like to stay alive and enjoy their company. (Coincidentally, I went last week.)

7:03 AM  
Anonymous lindsay said...

oooh count me in too...first test was in march (college freshman and all)

5:54 PM  
Anonymous said...

sorry...repost to include email (i am the college freshman who just posted...)

5:55 PM  
Blogger michelle said...

Cooter Rootin' was in April and while finishing up my master's degree, I've been a bit busy these last few months, so I'm a little behind in getting this to you for the monthly drawing. I also have TONS of yarn and would love to donate. Email your address and I can send you some Far North Yarn Company stash. :)

3:39 AM  
Blogger roxy =^o^= said...

Kootchie gremlins? *bwahahaha*

xo hugs love ya,

10:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think I need one - had the full works removed some years back.

Best thing ever - got rid of stage 4 endrometriosis.

For those who might be thinking about getting rid of the works, check out: The people there are supportive of whatever decision you make. and they have lots of facts about everything.

You might want to go there to promote your contest too.


10:07 PM  
Blogger MoonBeam said...

Fantastic! Not only have I benefitted from getting a regular pap but so many of my friends have, too. Of course, I recently moved and am a few months late. I'll be headed to the local Planned Parenthood soon!

2:15 PM  
Blogger Sharon Rose said...

I did it last month. Woo hoo! It was my first in years... I know, I'm bad, but I have an IUD so don't have periods... I forget I have to do maintenance stuff.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Miranda said...

Great idea here! I'm passionate about cervical cancer awareness as well. Because I did my routinely paps I had pre-cancerous cells that were caught and removed before they became a huge danger. Who knows what could have happened to be me if I didn't follow through with all my doctor appts!

10:21 PM  
Blogger ayla said...

Okay, here's a question: I got my pap smear done in January, BUT there weren't enough cells for a good exam, so I have to go back in JUNE. Can I enter twice? If not, I'm likely just to enter when I get the one in june done.

4:47 PM  
Anonymous paula said...

Hey, I just had mine last week. It is over! BTW, due to all the colon cancer in my family I also get a, ahem, digital exam. I think yarn is a good reward for all that!

8:13 AM  
Blogger 5elementknitr said...

Alright, did my annual. I'd been having periods every 2 weeks for awhile and since I'm 38, I asked the nurse if maybe I was becoming early menopausal or what. She said probably not but did I want to get on the pill to regulate things? I said, no thanks, I'm done with all that. She waved her hand in the direction of my face and said, "Are you sure? It'll help clear up your face."

I thought, "Did she really just say/do that? Bitch, I'm sittin' RIGHT HERE!"


2:37 PM  
Blogger Marilyn said...

I had my annual a few months ago but just learned about your contest. What a great idea. Please girls, get it checked!!!

8:22 AM  
Blogger Kat said...

Just a comment:
This is a great idea. I had hysterectomy 20 years ago, but still go in for checkups every 3-5 years. As I tell the docs, who knows what you will find in there. Anyway, what I wanted to say was, you are never to young to go. My 20 year old daughter went in for her first check up. Doctor asked her if she had been sexually active. She said no more than 10 times. He did the exam and the test came back showing cerv cancer. Which has been in every generation of my maternal side for 5 years. They caught it early enough to remove and she seems ok now. EDUCATION IS THE KEY! Keep up the good work. atwhittzend

10:29 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Hey, cool idea for a contest! I saw it on ravelry. So I'm late to the party by I get my annual exam every July because my birthday is in July. It helps me to remember if I just tell myself that a clean ps is a good b-day gift.

12:06 PM  
OpenID CraftyChick128 said...

Great idea! Seriously, they should just hand out a free skein of sock yarn after one of those, and they would get so many more women to get them. ;)

11:46 AM  
OpenID CraftyChick128 said...

Oops... forgot my e-mail:

What's the e-mail address I send it to? (The names of 7 people, I mean...)

11:51 AM  
Blogger Kia Ren said...

Dear Webmaster, is the largest up to date informational database consisting of general health and disease information. The only way to combat disease and promote healthy living is to provide the public current information on health and diseases. consists of breaking news in the health world and offers the information needed to take preventive and combative measures to fight disease. Your website seems to be a very credible resource and would beneficial to us in the fight to combat the contraction and spread of disease. You can aid us in this fight by simply putting a banner or link up for us, making our site available to your vast public. I have included the code for the banner within this email showing you exactly what this banner will look like. Thank you for your time, effort, and work you have done, we look forward to any thoughts you may have. is awarding you as top resource and if you would like to get the banner, please email me back with the subject line as your URL to avoid Spam and also to make sure that you only get the banner.

2:29 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home