Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Six Things Meme With a Twist

Wendy tagged me about a week ago with the “Six Weird Things” meme. I think I did this back in December. But not to be deterred I’ve come up with my own variation to fit my mood today!

Six Things That Piss Me Off

1. People who insist that baking is a science. Pish. Putting an extra gram of flour in the recipe or omitting the salt is not going to wreak havoc on your loaf of bread or cookies. Pioneers didn’t have a $30 set of measuring cups when they baked their bread. My ancestors survived just fine with that extra gram of flour and no salt, did yours?

2. When someone describes yarn as “yummy” or even worse, “scrummy.” Ok, I’ll admit it, technically this is perfectly OK as those two words can lawfully be used to describe non-edible objects. However, these two words grate on my nerves. (As do the words “moist” and “hot cocoa.”)

3. Why someone like the Yarn Harlot can make money publishing mildly funny musings about yarn and knitting, but chicks with ten times the humor like Penny Karma don’t see a dime for writing about their much more amusing lives.

4. Jerk-offs that park incredibly close to Chunky’s daycare and then give me the evil eye when I try to squeeze past them with my car because they can’t put their infant in the back seat with their door open in oncoming parking lot traffic. Do me a favor you lazy woman, park in the normal parking lot like the rest of us. The extra ten steps you have to walk will add 30 more seconds to your life and burn .39 calories of that baby weight you’re trying to lose.

5. People who walk slow and in the middle of the sidewalk. Sure, I’ll walk in the mud so you can stroll lazily along taking up the whole sidewalk.

6. Overly poetic romantic mushy-squishy writing. For the love of monkeys, just freaking say what you want to say. Cut out all the shit! What cracks me up is that that article is called “What I Cannot Say.” Yeah, tell me about it. This is the same reason I was only able to read the first chapter of Jane Eyre before looking into buying stock in Rogaine because it made me tear my hair out. A romantic I am most certainly not.

I won’t tag anyone back since I know some of y’all could count that in your list of six things that piss you off!

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Blogger Erin said...

This made me laugh out loud because my friends and I all agree that "moist" is one of the creepiest words ever! I agree about "hot cocoa" too - it's hot chocolate all the way.

12:15 PM  
Blogger The Fluffy Ewe said...

I agree on number 3!! Okay and I'll admit to calling yarn yummy and scrummy. Lol

1:06 PM  
Blogger Alyssa said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Knit Mongrel said...

Oh, the brilliance. I despise Jane Eyre, Emma, and all of those other overwrought, painfully boring pieces of fluff. So glad it's not just me.

And I can't believe you hate the word
"moist" - I've hated it for years, and most people tell me I'm crazy. It's SO gross... I think we need to come up with another word, or for crying out loud, say "damp."

You know, I think I hate that word too. Ick. Thanks for ending this meme cycle with a fantastic tirade - I love it!

*Sorry for deleting the last post - used the wrong url link* :)

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that that is off your chest. I am glad that I am not moist and drinking hot cocoa. Hahahahahaha!! I never thought about those two words...Ok they are three. But anyway If something looks like a good piece of chocolate I will think that it as yummy, although I don't think that I would veralise it. Don't want anyone to know that I am addicted to chocolate. Love, Mom

1:20 PM  
Anonymous NikBudnik said...

Hahaa-you hate Bake Nazis.
So do I.
Although I do own not one, not two but THREE sets of pricey measuring cups from Williams Sonoma.
So take that and suck on it.
Moist makes me think of cake.
And/Or femine hygenie products. Not sure why, just does.
Actually, boring literature is a little moist. And overly sweet, like Hot Cocoa.
Good little rant.

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Amby said...

Oh my goodness, I never hated the word "yummy" until I started knitblogging. That drives me up the wall too. In an addendum to your #3, it drives me bonkers that since Yarn Harlot made it popular, every knitblogger and their maiden aunt is publishing a freakin' book.

2:01 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

The slow walkers KILL me. It's mostly tourists, and I understand the need to take pictures of the incredibly tall buildings or you standing in front of the extremely large tree or you posing with the Naked Cowboy (who's not completely naked, btw), but MOVE TO THE FREAKIN' SIDE!!!! Ahem. Sorry.

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Liz said...

I heart you, Bezzie. Thanks for a rant that seems so close to my heart. :)

Baking is NOT A SCIENCE!!

I don't understand the Harlot thing at all. Meh.

My sister and I used to drive each other nuts saying "moist" over and over again. The word makes me shudder.

3:17 PM  
Blogger T. Budnik said...

Blasphemy! How dare you dis Jane Eyre! That seriously is one of my favorite books.

Here I'll start my meme of the same theme:

#1: People who don't appreciate fine British Victorian literature.

Haha! I kid because I kare. But not about liking Jane Eyre.


3:38 PM  
Anonymous angela said...

I know that you are angry, but boy did that ever make me laugh out loud... Too funny.

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Amy said...

Thanks for the link to Penny Karma, what a riot!

But...but...I've always been able to blame my dislike of baking on the fact that it's a science, and I'm not at all scientific. It has to be science. That has to be why I'm no good at it. Really.

And...sorry...Jane Eyre *rocks.*

5:04 PM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

OOOOOOH, I'm TOTALLY tagging myself for this one. I hope I can limit myself to six things.

Thank you for the most flattering shout out. I think I'm funnier than the Harlot too. I mean, I've seen her and I laughed out loud, but mostly because I couldn't believe I was in a room full of people who think knitting jokes are funny.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Olive said...

I hadn't read that Knitty article before and you're right, it pisses me off too!

5:14 PM  
Blogger cpurl17 said...

Thank you for giving me an idea of how to do this meme! I got tagged too and there are plenty of things I get pissed off about.

I do admit to over using the word yummy tho but never scrummy.

5:23 PM  
Blogger LadyLungDoc said...

Yep, the Y.H. does not strike me as being someone that would share her kids' diarrhea stories with the world. And she's a lesser person for it IMHO.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Another thing that is really annoying are the idiots in the grocery store that block the whole aisle with theor cart and butt! I also tried to read Tess by Thomas Hardy. Oy. it was AWFUL. With a capital AWF!

6:04 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

I love you Bezzie.

And I hate that teenagers who call themselves knitting designers get written up in Vogue Knitting, while oldsters who've been writing patterns since before she was born don't.

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Birdie said...

Haha, remember when T and I came up to you and told you that we had moistened our panties from drinking too much hot cocoa because we knew you hated those three words?? Haha!
Okay, I really need to do some homework.

6:59 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

Hi Bezzie,

I took you up on the meme - check it out on my blog :)

7:43 PM  
Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

Both your post and everyone's comments have brightened my day exponentially. I may have to tag myself as well.

I just can't understand how you were a Spanish major in college. If there ever was a flowery language I ever had to stop rolling my eyes long enough to do the assignment for, it was reading all those Spanish/Mexican novels... 's why I gave up after Spanish 4 AP...

7:54 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

hehe. I like your take on the 6 things. Lazy people suck. Taking up road space and sidewalks. Geez!

9:15 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

I've yet to hear scrummy, but I trust you. OMG! Don't even get me started on school parking, I've been doing that for 10 years now and have been on the edge for 5 of them. Perhaps baking is rocket science to those who can't?

6:27 AM  
Blogger Batty said...

I generally agree with you on the yummy yarn, except, perhaps, in the case of a skein turtle posted on her blog... I swear, I was this close to reaching for the screen and trying to shove it in my mouth!
The yarn was named 'Candy', now that I think about it. Maybe that explains the sudden impulse.

Romantic movies, romantic comedies in particular, make it seem like being in love equals being stupid. Just talk to each other, dangnabbit! And if you can't communicate now, what makes you think being cute, liking each other, and being able to afford your dream wedding will make for a good long-term partnership?

People in those stories don't need a hot date, they need serious long-term therapy!

8:13 AM  
Blogger Cheesy Knit Wit said...

Hee, Thank you!

I have already did the meme! I can rant like hell, so beware if you read mine!

8:45 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

Hey thanks! I have 2 girls, and I was looking at all the frilly stuff and thought "what about the boys?". The guys need something respectable to wear. Just striped the hat and the tail is a 10 st i-cord. The fuzz does all the work there.

10:33 AM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

Hee! Now that's my kinda meme!

12:29 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

I have said "yummy" in regards to yarn and other things non food related. I will have to work on eliminating that sucker...although....maybe I will use it here just to pester you ~insert evil laugh~

I am free and clear on the other ones though.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Magatha said...

I've gotten into the "yummy" habit a few times. But really, how many cherry picked compliments can a person make about yarn pics? It all starts to blend together into a fuzzy haze after a while and your eyes glaze over and "yummy" gurgles up from the primitive part of the brain and you hate yourself for it later. :-)
Oh, and on #3. I would swear that some of the things I've read in those books are things I've read on the knittyboard. Not that I'm making any accusations or anything. It's just not that unique and I don't get it.

3:48 PM  
Blogger Sherry W said...

Ack, I can't stand the close parkers. My friggin' food store had a
'Courtesy parents only' parking area near the handicapped spots. Now I'm for giving parents a break, but they can't WALK a few feet like the rest of us?! If anything seniors should get that courtesy!

Since it was a 'courtesy' and not a legal no parking zone, I used to park there, just to be a b*tch. Let the chubby kids walk. Ha!

4:31 PM  
Blogger weezalana said...

I have to admit, I am a repeat "yummy" yarn descriptor offender. I think it's because sometimes, it's just so soft and so pretty, I actually, literally want to eat it.

Nobody walks here, but the pokeys in the fast lane drive. me. insane.

6:40 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

You rock! You tell it like it is and I love it! :)

I promise to limit my use of yummy ;)

10:24 PM  
Blogger SuzannaBanana said...

Oh, the flowery prose! How I despise it. I liked Jane Eyre, because it had a crazy woman in an attic, but I'm with you on the hatred of the sap. Looks like no Oprah book-of-the-month club for us, Bez.

"But 'The God of Small Things' is so YUMMY!" Piss OFF!

11:14 AM  

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