Monday, March 26, 2007

Monday Stinks

Literally.

That stench would be me.

I originally wanted to blog about the great time I had in the city yesterday meeting various knitters I had only read about in cyberspace, but why ruin a shitty mood with something so upbeat?

Let me walk you through a regular day of unemployment for me.

6:00 a.m.--I wake up. Somehow I am STILL waking up before Dr. Mad Scientist even when I don't have a job. No. I'm not bitter.

6:30 a.m.--While I'm acting as Dr. Mad Scientist's personal coffee barrista and lunchlady, he hops into the shower.

6:45 a.m.--We all pile into the car and Chunky and I drop Dr. Mad Scientist off at the train station. He could drive himself but that would involve paying for parking. No way.

7:10 a.m.--Chunky and I come home. I catch up on emails and we eat breakfast.

8:30 a.m.- 9:00 a.m.--I usually hop in the shower.

But today, this is what I find when I try to take a shower.

100_3106

Hm. Yes. How in the HELL did Dr. Mad Scientist NOT notice that the tub wasn't draining? I will admit, it has always been slow to drain, but it's never been THAT full when I shower!

As you can see, he failed to mention anything to me about it this morning before he left.

So today instead of showering, Chunky and I went to Home Despot to buy a plunger and some Drain-O.

I had to buy a plunger because Dr. Mad Scientist couldn't seem to remember to bring the plunger with him from Michigan to San Antonio when he finally finished his freakin' doctoral degree.

We get home and I plunge.

And I plunge.

And I plunge some more.

100_3110

Nothing. I grab my trusty 99 cent plastic bucket and start bailing out the tub.

Who said showering doesn't waste as much water as a bath? Not when you're a man I guess. I must have dumped 15 gallons of water out of that tub down the kitchen sink.

I figure with less water in the tub I'll be able to get some better plunging done.

No dice. Even with a shallow puddle in my tub now, I can't get anything to go down the drain. Manually ejaculating an elephant would be easier than plunging this drain.

I then decide to exercise my google-fu instead of my now sore from all that plunging biceps to see how to free up a plugged bathtub drain. Somewhere I read to stick a wire coat hanger down the drain.

Great!

No. Not so great.

Look at the first picture.

See that thingy right below the faucet? Now on non-100 year old bathtubs (yes, I'm exagerating) you flip that little switchy-do in order to get the tub to stop up when you take a bath.

Well that little switchy-do is as flacid as a poorly stimulated elephant. It flops around and doesn't "stick" like it's supposed to. I can spin it around with ease. When I was plunging and attempting to force water down the drain and wiggling my coat hanger in the pipe, I noticed I could get that switchy-do to move a bit.

This leads me to believe that the stopper device for the tub is broken. Thank god I didn't go pouring any Drain-O down there.

However, I also happen to think that the landlord, hereinafter known as Zorba, KNOWS this.

Why? Because when we first moved in, there was a removable plastic stopper put over the tub drain. A quick-fix for something more seriously broken.

I come to the point of desperation and I haul out the phone book.

100_3111

There's no way I'm going to be able to fix a broken drain stopper. My plumbing experience ends with vigorous plunging and coat hanger hooking.

I call up EconoRooter. They get my information, blah, blah, blah. But stop me when I say I'm renting.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you're going to have to get your landlord's permission before we show up."

FINE!

I hang up with EconoRooter. I call Zorba. And it rings.

And rings.

And rings.

And rings some more.

Zorba isn't home.

Zorba does not have an answering machine.

I should have figured. I don't think the man can take a shower on his own (he's got a live-in nurse and is allegedly wheelchair bound). Why would he be prudent enough to join the last two centuries that the answering machine has existed?

I write Zorba a sincere little note informing him of the situation and tuck it under his doorknob.

And here I sit. 12:30 p.m. unshowered and pissed.

Everyone I know who owns a home always complains about how they're responsible for repairs and rave about renting because they don't have to worry about the repairs. Well I'm here to tell you--you may not have it as bad as you think. At least you can CALL someone who will take care of your maintenance problems without having to jump through multiple hoops.

Yes, I'm a control freak. I'll admit it. I like being in control. I think I like showering just as much.

I get the distinct feeling like Zorba's going to pawn this off as my responsibility like he did the oven knob. Which by the way, the one I ordered in my impatience did not fit and I've had to re-order the actual one based on Stacie's wonderful oven-sleuthing. It cost me $30 and will take about a month or more to get here.

I cannot wait for Dr. Mad Scientist to finish up this postdoc. After a postdoc happens, you typically get a steady job. When that time comes we are so buying a house of our own (preferably without SeƱor Asshat-esque realtors).

Renting is for chumps.

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30 Comments:

Blogger mikomiao said...

awwwwww Bezzie!

that totally sucks. /me throws Zorba to the dogs.

it was fun meeting you yesterday though!

11:49 AM  
Blogger Cindy in Happy Valley said...

Even though I have a great "handy man" because I'm not so much I've figured out how to deal with a broken drain thingy.

Unscrew the lever fitting and you'll see that you can lift the stopper right out of the hole. At least until you can get Zorba on the phone, the water will drain.

Easy peasy....

12:24 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

As much as the situation sucks, the visuals of elephants in my head....makes me laugh and makes my coworkers look at me like I'm crazy.

And yes, it was totally fun meeting you yesterday!!

12:32 PM  
Blogger Poops said...

Cindy rocks! My tub is still broken in much the same way as yours. I took off the lever fitting and ripped the whole shebang right out of there.

Now I use a rubber flat drain-hole cover thingy. Works like a charm.

I am convinced, however, that if I ever felt like it I could replace the whole shebang with a new one from the Despot. I just don't wanna.

And you're not stinky. You're cute with your plunger...

12:35 PM  
Blogger cpurl17 said...

Ugh. I have a broken drain thingie and a slow drain (but at least it drains).

I shudder to think what could be down in that drain. I mean, dealing with your own funk is bad enough but dealing with old renter funk is just nast.

12:42 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

And I thought I was having a bad day. Cheer up girl, at least you gave it good shot yourself and it's always good to have some draino around.

12:54 PM  
Blogger KnitterBunny said...

((Hugs)) My sink drain is acting funny. I think after your story I'm just going to call the plumber.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Next time you go to Home Despot, get a snake, too. Sounds like you're gonna need it before too long.

1:07 PM  
Blogger The Fluffy Ewe said...

Lol... jacking off an elephant.

It never ceases to amaze me the crap man can "not notice". "Umm hiney, your leg is on fire." "What?!?!?! My leg is on fire? What leg?" Yeah, I can relate. It's worse when the teevee is on.

You know sometimes holding back that bit about being a renter is a good thing. Done that before.

I hope Senor Asshat does soemthign about this for you... Not like you can go a week without bathing (unlike me. Hahaha)

1:10 PM  
Blogger Sherry W said...

Tonight I will take a photo of my destroyed bathroom wall and us renters can have a laugh (or a gin and tonic).

1:13 PM  
Blogger maryannlucy said...

Aw this is bad! I hope things get sorted soonest...but please no more references about elephants...I am crying with laughter...

1:25 PM  
Blogger Macoco said...

I hope you get some good plumbing karma ASAP!

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well hang in there girl. Like your friend said Unscrew the one doohicky and pull it up and out of the drain overflow. It should have a two screw thingys that makes the plug adjust up and down. I think that if I were you I would just take the plug off and put the cap back on. Then if I really wanted a bath I would use a rubber stopper. OK! Rereading that just might not help but anyway. You need to watch "Ask This Old House" Hope your day goes better. Love, Mom

1:55 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Geesh! That's a bummer!! Hope you get it fixed soon! :)

4:34 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Yeah, I've only been renting for three years and I'm already tired of it. However, I'm sure I'll complain about owning a home when that happens also. lol

I hope your tub gets fixed soon and that you get a nice long shower.

Don't forget to tell us about NYC!! I love that place. :D

4:38 PM  
Blogger Inky said...

i have that problem in my sink. i think you can remove that cap and pull up the stopper manually, that may help drain it at least. but i'm not a plumber, nor do i play one on the internet!!

sorry your monday blows, but now i can't get elephants outta my head!!

4:44 PM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

Senor Asshat! Zorba! (Presumably the greek) What's next? Pepe LePew? Oh wait, that's you. Heh.

Sorry about the tub drain. Bleh.

5:45 PM  
Blogger Amysatx said...

"Manually ejaculating an elephant"
Heh...That's a visual I won't get rid of real soon!!

5:54 PM  
Blogger Sssarahevt said...

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.(sad face)I feel your bummed-outed-ness. Attack that thing with a screwdriver and do what you can...it can't get worse, can it?

6:02 PM  
Blogger Batty said...

What horrible luck! However, owning isn't better than renting when something like this happens. One holiday weekend, I made chicken soup because both I and the husband were sick. What do you know, the insinkerator was broken and only churning water. Silly me, I try to run the dishwasher anyway. So here I am, on a holiday, bailing water out of the sink, out of the dishwasher, and trying to find someone, anyone who will fix the mess. When I do, it costs me $900 I don't have to get the insinkerator replaced and my desperate plumbing problem fixed. The entire house smells like chicken soup.

At least there's a chance the landlord will do something about this -- and you won't have to pay extra.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

How totally suck-tastic. I am sooooo glad I have a good landlord. he had an inspector fromt he bank come around a while ago 'cuase he was re-arranging financing for his enterprises and the guy told my lanlord that we (hubby and I) are taking really good care of the place. and the landlord called me to thank me for it! Duh, I live here. Why would I live in a pig sty? Of course I'm going to do basic maintenance. Like clean. And not punch holes in the walls...

9:04 PM  
Anonymous clarinetteplayer said...

That kept happening to my shower. Eventually I called my landlord (he's really nice and I hate to bother him) and he came over and replaced the whole broken part. You should just be able to unscrew the flippy thing to let the water drain.

9:15 PM  
Anonymous birdie said...

Okay, so I know you don't want to hear laughing, but I can't help it. That picture of you with the plunger is too hilarious. Just looking at it, I can hear your angry sarcasm. Ahh, I love it, and you, too!
But seriously, how did Dr. M. Scientist not realize the shower was THAT full? Is he a zombie as he showers, or did he just figure it would drain?
Well, soul sister, I hope your landlord gets off his @ss and fixes it for you. But at least this didn't happen in TX, and you don't have floating cockroaches in the water!

10:57 PM  
Blogger Cheesy Knit Wit said...

Oh my Bezzie. I am so sorry about the drain. Hopefully the breakdowns will stop soon!

:-/

4:41 AM  
Anonymous Erin said...

That's a total bummer but your elephant references are totally cracking me up. Believe me though, owning isn't always better.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Rain said...

Well at least it's never dull in Bezzieland. How the hell did he not notice that?

You need my old housemate Kate - she frightened our landlord something silly when she got onto him about repairs so it was always done quicker if she asked instead of us.

5:05 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Definatly a stinky Monday. Hope everything is fixed up soon...you need that oven to bake some cookies girl!!!

10:06 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Definatly a stinky Monday. Hope everything is fixed up soon...you need that oven to bake some cookies girl!!!

10:06 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

opps!!! Double posting.....sorry :)

10:07 PM  
Blogger weezalana said...

First, let me get the visual of you manually ejaculating an elephant out of my head...

Gee, I wonder what Zorba's going to do. Tell you to call the DWP?

10:28 PM  

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