Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Blog Fodder huh?

Penny Karma assures me that when life hands you lemons, you turn it into blog fodder.

Lord knows it works for her. I've said it before--someone needs to offer her a book deal.

Again, if a chick in Canada can earn a living peddling books about stuff we already think is funny about knitting, I think Penny can do it about motherhood and hell life in general.

Of course we'll have to start calling her the Mommy Ho or something to keep with the (Name of What You Write about) + (Scandalous Adjective) theme.

Today was a busy day.

7:00 a.m.: We dropped Dr. Mad Scientist off at the train station.

7:15-8:00 a.m.: Chunkmaster Flash and I came home, watched a little Curious George, and ate breakfast.

8:00 a.m.: Walked up to the neighborhood mechanic. Handed over $465 worth of money I don't have to obtain Dr. Mad Scientist's car from them. We took it in to be inspected per state rules. The front brakes were shot and the calipers were frozen. He gave me a "deal" on the calipers. Yeah, you'd better buddy. You've easily taken nearly a grand from me in the span of less than a week!

8:30 a.m.: Drove the Chunkman to preschool/daycare, whatever you want to call it. For the record he came home beaming about how great his new school is and ran through the doors this morning. He freaking loves it. Whew! For $150 a week, he'd better!

9:00 a.m.-11:15 a.m.: I hang out waiting for the plumber to show up to unstop our tub. Zorba FINALLY got off his ass and called a plumber. Oh well, I've been getting quite the upper body workout bailing water into the toilet once or twice a day. Apparently time works a little slower when you're older than the hills. He claims it only cost 10 cents to ride the subway in New York city when he was a kid. It costs $2 now. Draw your own conclusions.

11:15 a.m.: I call the plumber. They were supposed to be here anywhere from 9:00 to 12:00 p.m. Today is interview day. I would have liked to take a shower before my interview, but alas when I called the plumber the girl answering the phone got all flustered about me leaving at 12:00 p.m. for the day. I told her it wasn't a big deal, I mean shit, what's another day of bailing? She acts all peeved and tells me to call before I leave.

12:00 p.m.: I slap on some extra deodorant, brush my teeth, try to make my hair look presentable, toss on the old interview clothes. Just slacks and a blouse. No powersuits for me. What you see is what you get. I'm not being hired under the false pretenses I'm going to rock the wardrobe Early 90's Hilary Powersuit Style every day.

I notice when I'm preening that I'm sporting this:


I knew when he gave me that it would ensure I'd get an interview. What do you know? I got called for the interview the day after.

Screw it. Again, I'm not out to impress anyone. Yes, I need the job like no other, and yes if they offer it I'll probably take it. However, I've been on so many goddamned interviews in my life it's not even funny.

I've been working as a professionally as an office monkey for 10 years this summer. I know the drill. I hate the stupid song and dance you have to go through in trying to get a job.

Before I head out the door, I call the plumber to let them know I'm leaving. A guy answers the phone this time and is totally cool with adding me to the schedule tomorrow. "No problem," he tells me.

Now was that so hard?

12:10 p.m.: I hit the road with my directions to the place I'm interviewing. For the first time since we've moved here I do NOT get lost. Probably because I ditched the Mapquest directions and went by the ones the company interviewing me. I hate you Mapquest, but I can't quit you!

12:45 p.m.: I show up at said place of interview. I'm 45 minutes early. Please see above where I mention my track record for getting lost in New Jersey. Thank goodness I brought my sock to knit. I even tried it on in the car. Sorry mom, it fits.

1:15 p.m.: I go into said place of interview and proceed to fill out an application that asks for everything that is found on my resume. Why do people do that? God knows I enjoy typing my resume so much, please, please let me handwrite it in teeny little boxes for you too!

The interview was supposed to start at 1:30. The chica doing the interview make an appearance until 1:45 p.m.

Now, as a professional office monkey, I can tell you that I hate doing that to anyone. Interviewee, clients, whatever. It's rude. Gah, it gives me an ulcer just thinking about it because one my bosses used to do that all the time. I was forever trying to save face with the client after 15 minutes of waiting and making excuses as to why he was late.

Then they gave me the schpiel about their company--Hotdog Inc.

No, they don't deal in processed tube-meat products, that's their last names.

I met with Mrs. Hotdog and she gave me the schpiel about the company. I couldn't tell you what they do. And the best part was when Mrs. Hotdog was joking that one of their other employees who's been around for six months couldn't tell her own mother what the company did.

I get the feeling like it's a newer company than they let on and it feels as though none of their current office monkey level employees have worked there for more than a year. That's a little unnerving.

But overall I guess it went well. It will be a bitch to drive to. Traffic will suck butt I'm sure. I think I could get Chunky to daycare in the morning on time, but picking him up might be a challenge. We'll see.

One thing I did like--benefits kick in after 30 days. That seems to be better than Mt. Sinai where benefits were allegedly immediate.

Dr. Mad Scientist spent THREE HOURS yesterday with HR trying to figure out why he couldn't add me and Chunky to his health insurance.

You want to know why? They entered his start date as 3/8/2006.

Freaking morons. Ok, if it was January, even February, I might let the 2006/2007 mistake happen. It takes me a while to get into the habit of entering a new year. But by March, I expect everyone to know what year it is.

Maybe I'm being overly harsh with them.

But then again he's been working there nearly a month and has NOT been paid. That has to break some kind of law. When he tried to get his paycheck two weeks ago they gave him some lame excuse about not being "in the system" yet.

Not to mention we have yet to see a freaking dime of the nearly $1500 we spent to send him out to NYC to interview. Buying a plane ticket a day in advance and staying in a NYC hotel is NOT cheap. Again they claim it's a "system" thing and he should get it soon.

Meanwhile I've got a $440 gas bill due on the 11th. Not to mention $470 to the State of Michigan for taxes on the 15th.

I told him if he does not have a deposit in the bank on Friday or a check in his hands, I will be calling Mt. Sinai. I don't care if I'm not the one employed there or not.

As for the health insurance, he has assured me that him walking down to HR (about three or four blocks from the actual hospital) and verbally telling them to add me and Chunky on the XYZTakeituptheassdeductible Health Plan that we are covered. We'll see about that. He'll be checking up with them next Monday.

Now if I were to drive a railroad spike into my head out of sheer frustration with him not being paid, we'd have to cover the medical expenses to have it removed and submit them for reimbursement until we get our ID cards from XYZTakeituptheassdeductible Health Plan.

Why do I have the feeling that the railroad spike would be firmly lodged back into my skull when we tried to get them to reimburse us?

I guess I shouldn't complain. Some people don't have health insurance. Actually as a family and individually this past year we didn't for all 12 months in one way or another.

However, I can't help but think how much closer to a cure for pediatric asthma the world would be if Dr. Mad Scientist could have that three hours of his life back.

I'd like to say "at least he was being paid" for those three hours, but we've yet to see evidence of that.

Good job Mt. Sinai. Good job.

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Blogger cpurl17 said...

Am I the first comment? Probably by the time I get blogger to accept my word verification, I won't be.

So Bezzie, just turn that frown upside down.

*cpurl ducks and covers*

5:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh! Darn on those socks!! Enjoy them anyway! Good luck on the job. Hope Mt. Sinai is not like Providence!! Love, Mom

5:27 PM  
Blogger weezalana said...

Huh, I woulda figured Zorba for a horse-and-buggy kind of guy.

Sorry you had such a crap day! Would it help if I called you my hero for not covering up the love bruise? ;)

5:42 PM  
Anonymous clarinetteplayer said...

I know what you mean about getting lost in NJ. I was in Princeton visiting a friend a couple weeks ago.

On the way down (from Maine) I missed the Tappan Zee and ended up going over the GW Bridge. Seeing the "Welcome to the Bronx" and "Welcome to Manhattan" signs practically gave me a heart attack.

Then I ventured out to the mall by myself one day. I couldn't figure out how to turn around on RT1 and ended up in Trenton. Then I ended up at some government building and got directions from a nice police officer. I'm pretty sure he laughed at my Maine plates as a drove away. I was...slightly out of place.

Google maps are pretty good, and those car gps things look pretty awesome.

5:59 PM  
Blogger Red Dog Knits - Kristi and Otis said...

But other than all that, things are good right? ;) Man, you sure you don't want to return to the Mitten State?

6:08 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Life is good huh? Hopefully, this company pays on time. Try counting men in pjs ;)

6:37 PM  
Blogger T. Budnik said...

Now, if everything was running smoothly, you'd be bored out of your mind! I truly hope that you'll be leaving administrative hell soon with your health care.


8:37 PM  
Anonymous NikBudnik said...

Is that a hicky?
You slut!
(for all others reading this, she is family and I LOVE her, so BACK OFF!)
Hehe, a hicky. I have nothing positive or constructive to say other than- get it while you can BABY!
Good luck!!!
And that is true love, there. :)

9:06 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

holy shit! what else can I say. i was smiling until I got to the not getting paid part... what up? in times like these, it's the words of rev. jesse jackson that keep me going..."keep hope alive"!

9:09 PM  
Blogger LadyLungDoc said...

You have to think that a company where none of the employees know what actually happens there will be good blog fodder.

fanwabgu - that's the verification word for today. I'm sure it's some kind of a sign.

9:41 PM  
Blogger janna said...

That just sucks about not getting paid! I'd really expect better out of Mt. Sinai.....

10:32 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Grr! Hoping you guys get paid soon and get some insurance, so not fair!

Glad the socks fit though!
BTW I meant to tell you I loved Vladimir! hehe!

10:38 PM  
Blogger Cheesy Knit Wit said...

When will this stuff end for you and yours? No paycheck toppled with all the car trouble, house trouble and upcoming bills, I would be a nervous wreck.

Take care!

2:34 AM  
Blogger peri said...

Your horrors make great reading and having the Zorba theme playing in my head as I read it - really gave it an added something.

Glad preschool went so well and he enjoyed it - at least it's one less thing to worry about.

4:35 AM  
Blogger ZantiMissKnit said...

aaaah, job search. How I hated re-writing the contents of my resume into their teeny-tiny spaces on the applications. Why indeed do they do that? I wonder if it is a handwriting analysis.

Are you interested in doing legal again? In that area, you may be able to make tons of $$ but the hours may be nuts. Maybe you could work for in-house corporate. Don't do litigation though.

8:47 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

/me giggles at the hickey like at teenage girl.

9:11 AM  
Anonymous Erin said...

That all sounds very sketchy. I hope he gets paid and benefits soon. They should be ashamed for doing that to their employees.
Hang in there. It sounds like things are starting to come together! =)

11:11 AM  
Blogger sgeddes said...

Sorry for all the crap you have going on.

One time when hubby had an interview, he had me cut his hair the night before. We always use those clipper things that cutt all the hair the same length. Well I @**%*# it up and he ended up with racing stripes above his right ear!

11:20 AM  
Blogger Poops said...

Sister, you need a turtleneck! Tell them you burned yourself with the curling iron...

I look upon your current money situation as merely a challenge for the Cheapass Queen of the World. And when you write your book and are rich and famous, you will be glad for the experience.

And then you'll wipe your butt with a hundred dollar bill.

And my word verification is bsnmzviz. What do you suppose that means?

12:06 PM  
Blogger Starfish said...

All health plans suck. Trust me, I work for one.

12:31 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Maybe if Dr. Mad Scientist Just showed up at HR (or wherever pay is controlled) and started knitting until they paid him? I know he doesn't knit (does he?) but this sounds like a golden opportunity to try. A month with no pay is absurd!

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

Just tell Dr. MS that you really need some more interviews. Can't fail!

11:57 AM  
Blogger Rain said...

Gah! I hate office incompetence for simple tasks. Maybe you could go work at Mt Sinai and get their admin in order.

8:25 AM  

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