Friday, April 06, 2007

Patience, Knitting and Jeebus

One of the hardest things about unemployment is the waiting.

I'm a very impatient person to begin with so this is killing me. I've been putting in for at the very least one job a day for the past two weeks. I've had the one interview with Hotdog, Inc.

I really should be knitting. However this cold snap has prevented me from doing that. It's freaking freezing and after that huge-ass heating bill from last month when we barely touched the heat, I'm not going anywhere near the thermostat! As a result, my fingers are a bit cold and not very good with the needles.

I do hope to get a WIP done this weekend though. It's been one that's been languishing a while and I've started to despise it.

Then I can work on Chunky's Freebasing Granny Fair Isle a bit more...


..and that Quill Lace sock I frogged.

I frogged it because it got to the point where I effed up too many of the repeats even for my comfort. I'm all about leaving a few flaws visible, but even this was getting to be too much even for me. I kept adding extra YOs.

Chunky seems to be enjoying "school" more. They moved him up to his actual age group because although he's not experienced in all the writing and math they do at this school, he is more emotionally mature than the kids who aren't yet tackling the writing and math.

A red flag went up for me the other day though when he told me about a story they read at school.

First let me preface it by saying that Dr. Mad Scientist and I are not religious people. I was raised Catholic and Dr. Mad Scientist as a Mormon. Aside from having a penchant for pistachio-pudding-marshmallow-walnut-canned-orange salads and a sometimes hankering for those prepackaged Communion wafers, we don't really consider ourselves Mormon or Catholic.

My family stopped going to church when the old Irish priest was replaced with a crazy birkenstock wearing, granola crunching, mountain climbing hippie of a priest. He was always off climbing Mt. McKinley or allegedly on missionary trips to Russia.

I know my mom couldn't help but think he might have been spending the Sunday collection plate on Nalgene bottles and Patagonia mountain climbing jackets. And don't even get her started about the fact that this priest in question attended the Russian language classes at the high school (for free and with the regular high school aged kids) before he left to do alleged missionary trips.

But I digress. About the time I stopped going to church, Dr. Mad Scientist stopped going as well on his own. His mom is still pretty devout, as are a majority of his siblings.

For myself, my real awakening that my religious upbringing might not have been the end all was when I was in high school and we started watching "The Power of Myth" with Joseph Campbell in Classical Lit.

Now I'm not anti-religion or anti-Jesus. My philosophy is this: Whatever flips your cookie. If you think that's what's right, coolio.

I'm not going to judge you because you believe in God, Allah, Budda, The Beatles, whatever and I don't. I am close with many people that don't share my beliefs in things spiritual.

I also know lots of people with a penchant for Macintosh computers, manual transmissions, and a hatred for felines. I can't say I agree with all of those things listed there, but I'm not going to stop being your friend for those reasons.

Well OK, maybe if you use your Macintosh computer to map out a good place to run over cats in your manual transmissioned car. Then I can't say I'd want to be your friend.

For me, God and Christianity is not the thing. I'm not ready to put my chips on one color and roll the dice just yet.

As such, Dr. Mad Scientist and I have decided not to raise Chunky in any particular religion.

Later, if he wants to later get baptized, give up caffiene, or shave his head, don a colorful robe and climb a mountain in Georgia, more power to him. But I want him to come to those conclusions on his own. I want him, not his upbringing, to draw him to those conclusions.

But back to where I was going with this!

Chunky comes home to tell me they read a story about Easter at school, "..and it was about Jesus," he informed me.

I said "Oh really?" (not knowing particularly how to react since I specifically thought this place was NOT a faith-based preschool).

"Yeah, you know who Jesus was right mom?"

"Yes I do. Do you?" I asked him wanting to see how much they had been telling him.

"Yeah, he's Santa's helper," he replied.

"Santa's helper???" I answered, confused.

"Yeah, you know, in Futurama, Dr. Zoidberg-Jesus helps out Santa!"


Ha ha! Leave it to my kid to bring Jesus back to a TV show.

If we're not going to hell for raising him as a heathen, we're probably going to hell for letting him watch Futurama!

I don't mind him learning historically about who Jesus was. That's fine, but not too many schools teaching a bunch of five year olds are interested in teaching children about the historical placement of religious figures. I'll keep an ear out for any more mentions of a futuristic lobster messiah.

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Blogger T. Budnik said...

Holy Shit. Here I thought he was going to tell you that Jesus died for our sins: "That's what the teacher told us!"

Freaking hilarous!


10:29 AM  
Blogger Cindy in Happy Valley said...

Sounds like he's a chip off the 'ol block.

11:04 AM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

At least you aren't letting him watch "Jesus n' Pals" on South Park!

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah! Don't get me started on THAT preist! Oh my!!!! I laughed my arse off!!! Hey I think that you just went through HELL, so everything must be HEAVEN now! Love, Mom

12:44 PM  
Blogger sgeddes said...

Funny. I was starting to wonder what they teach up there in the North. I know down here it is likely he would read about Jesus in public school.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Zoidberg! Yessssss. I cannot WAIT for the new eps.

It seems my cousin's school is the EXACT opposite. She's 11, and was reading Narnia with my aunt and had to be told the story of Adam and Eve. I mean, I guess it's good that they're not feeding her this stuff in school, but seriously?

1:26 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I have the same views on religion; let him decide when he gets older. That's what we're doing with Danny. I was raised Catholic and hubby, well, he's technically Jewish, but wasn't raised anything.

Just wait til he starts regular school....the things they come home're in for a real treat. :)

1:36 PM  
Blogger Cheesy Knit Wit said...

Religion is most certainly that "leap of faith".

PK beat me to mentioning the Jesus & Pals thing on South Park.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

hee hee hee hee!! I love the Dr. Zoidberg as Jesus!! Good job Chunky! My 4 year old thought that an angle x-mas tree decoration was the tooth fairy... let 'em sort it out in therapy...

2:24 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

And I thought there was gonna be a reference to Homer. Kids say the darndest things. Glad he likes his school though.

2:43 PM  
Anonymous OLPP said...

Bez, the *same* thing happened ot me, except I was finishing my third year in college. I love Joseph Campbell. Hm... Jesus Christ, Joseph Campbell, both JC initials!
We're coloring eggs and eating chocolate bunnies, but this year's theme is Persephone and Demeter.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

OH, that gave me a good laugh.

I find myself trying to tell my heathen kids about Jesus because they are so focused on the material goods of these allegedly religious holidays. I don't want to raise Christians, but I also want them to know that Easter is about more than chocolate eggs and further, Easter is not really our family's holiday, other than as a nice spring fertility ritual.

There's a big Lutheran church about 4 blocks from our house. When Owen was 4, he suggested that we move into one of the apts next dooor to the church so we could attend on Sundays. I had to laugh as I told him that the reasons we did not go to church had nothing to do with the half-mile distance from our house.

3:45 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Zoidberg Jesus! Wow! Too funny.

It's too bad (in my opinion) your mom didn't like the granola priest. Our granola priest is the main reason I'm at all interested in my husband's religion. (Well, besides my husband.) He takes the old ladies in our church to places like Tibet and Africa.

4:04 PM  
Blogger janna said...

That's hilarious! (And I'm a Mac-loving, stick-shift-driving, bad Catholic!)

4:16 PM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

That's the Chunkmaster Flash I love! Hee!

4:55 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Too funny!!! Your little guy is a hoot!

I agree in regards to your views on religion. I do admire people that are so devoted to their religion......(not so devoted it is creepy or whatever).....just not my cuppa tea.

6:26 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

I am definitely in the "you do your thing and I'll do mine" camp. What I dislike are the evangelizing types. However, Zoidberg-Jesus-Santa's helper is lovely! Where do I join up?

6:57 PM  
Anonymous birdie said...

Oooh, so that's why we stopped going to church. I thought it was because Mom and the Old Man started to think it was all bunk. Haha! Sometimes I forget that you're 8 years older than me and had to go to church for a lot longer than I did. I guess with that realization, I can forgive you for sleeping in and Daddy not making you go to church when he dragged the rest of us to church one Sunday morning. Oh how jealous of you I was.
And that's awesome that Chunky related Jesus to Futurama. I'm going to tell all my Futurama fan friends that. I'm sure they'll love it, haha!

9:11 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

I so agree with you about our kids! You know, after being born Catholic, Raised non-denominational and being forced to go to church and out in the public to witness to people as a teen. I so do not force my kids. They are exposed to it,(well going to Catholic grade school kinda let them know about it) but I want them to choose their own way too!

12:08 AM  
Blogger LilKnitter said...

Wow, I think if a public school teacher read an Easter story to their students, he or she would be fed to lions! (ha, get it? oh, I have such stupid humour...). Probably unlikely that the school has some multi-cultural, multi-faith reading selections throughout the year...
Here's hoping that's the last appearance by Santa's little helper in the classroom!

9:06 AM  
Blogger maryannlucy said...

Good one Chunky! I meantioned to DH that you seem to have a similar approach to this as we do with DD. He wanted to know if you also go in for the keeping them in a box, and beating them on a daily basis - we find it works! ;-) Yay for Futurama.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Sherry W said...

Your going to hell? I'm going to a bar crawl Easter Sunday. Dressed liked a zombie. Jeebus raised from the dead, after all.

10:58 PM  
Blogger weezalana said...

When I get ready to pop out a rugrat, I want one like Chunky. ;)

12:56 AM  
Blogger Rain said...

Ha ha, Chunky rocks. I love that you're leaving him to make up his own mind.

8:32 AM  
Blogger Rain said...

p.s. love the knitting too.cjr

8:33 AM  
Blogger buttercup said...

OMG! Chunky is a hoot! Love it.

I am a little surprised about the story of Easter being read at his school. People here in NJ take stuff like that wayyyyy to seriously. Did he get a Passover story last Tuesday? heh

11:38 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

That is hilarious! You're not going to hell. I'm going to raise my kids to decide for themselves as well. I was baptized and that little bit of Catholic tap water that was poured on my head has made me guilty as all hell. I couldn't lie to save my life. Big conscience over here. LOL

I love Futurama! :D

5:44 PM  

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