Thursday, October 11, 2007

Buck, buck, buck, buck-caw!

How to Make Money

Step 1: Cut back in how much your husband eats out when working til 10:00 p.m. two or three nights a week.

Step 2: Substitute those meals he eats out with stuff that's just as nutritionally redeeming--frozen dinners.

Step 3: Only buy those frozen dinners that are on sale for 99 cents.

Step 4: Wait for a recall.

Step 5: Throw away said frozen dinners and send in your box top to ConAgra to get your money back.

Chances are I'll get more than the 99 cents I paid for this pot pie!


I could write a diatribe about wah, wah, all of our stuff is tainted with e. coli, salmonella, lead paint and antifreeze! But I won't.

Recalls are a part of living in an industrial society where there is a plant somewhere in Nebraska chucking out millions of frozen dinners a day.

It's the gamble you take. Let's quit snivelling about it and either own up to it, or find an alternative to the mass-produced.

Shit, even if I grew that chicken in the pot pie myself my chances of catching salmonella would probably be the same if not greater. It's chicken!

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Blogger T. Budnik said...


Let me tell you about my recall: Remember when the contact solution was recalled? Well, I had a brand, spankin' new bottle of it. I did all the necessary things to get my money back. They were giving $9/bottle. (I only paid about $6-7.) THEN, when I got the check last week, it was for $18! Seems someone at the recall center can't count. $18! That's like 2 weeks of tainted pot pies.


7:47 AM  
Anonymous Miss T said...

Homemade potpies taste better and you know what's in them!

8:04 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

"even if I grew that chicken in the pot pie myself my chances of catching salmonella would probably be the same if not greater. It's chicken!"

Well, actually.... (not trying to be a smarty pants here, I'm just someone who grows her own chicken and thinks there is a world of difference.)

Salmonella is caused by fecal bacteria, and if you were growing (and slaughtering) that chicken yourself, you'd do everything in your power to keep it clean, and feed your animals "clean" feed (and by that I mean feed that is not contaminated with any sort of bedding, or animal by-products, including the guts).

So you would be very careful to avoid puncturing the poop sack (and if you did, you'd be quick to clean things up). The same cannot be said about industrial food production.

First of all, industrial chicken feed often contains other animal by-products, so ew. And also, in most cases, the line is moving so fast, that if someone has a spill of fecal material, it most likely gets on the meat. This is why the meat needs to be fully cooked.

The alternative? Eat less meat, and support local farmers who aren't looking for the cheapest feed and the cheapest labor for slaughtering.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Don't read Omnivore's Dilemma! You'll never eat processed food again ;).

8:36 AM  
Blogger Magatha said...

I was working in a pharmacy way back when the Tylenol poisonings took place. I remember scooping out all those boxes from the shelf. (Though this was not necessarily a production problem, it was deliberate tampering, made possible because of the way Tylenol extra strength came in unsealed capsules back then.) That was the first product recall I can remember in my lifetime and it's been nothing but recall this and recall that ever since. Lawyers. We created the monster, we have to live with it.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Eryn said...

Free range chicken, baby! You can even taste a difference.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Beverly said...

I hear ya! Recalls suck, but what can you do? It's good that your man didn't get sick or anything.

Pot pies rock!

9:50 AM  
Blogger Magatha said...

PS, clever title. I just now got it.

PSS Liz, sweety-darling, I am never eating chicken again. (I hate the taste of chicken meat anyway. I hate the way it looks raw. The only good thing about chickens are broth and eggs.)

9:55 AM  
Blogger cpurl17 said...

I'm glad no one got sick! I got salmonella poisening once on the way to Disneyland. It sucked to be lying in the hotel bed while everyone else was visiting Mickey but it was a effective way to lose a few pounds (just not one I'd recommend).

11:17 AM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

I have some of those red packages in my freezer, too. With three adult children who all work, there is always someone missing dinner and needing something quick. So, I am supposed to mail the box tops in and they'll give me my money back? I thought I'd just have to throw them away or feed them to people I don't like.

11:22 AM  
Blogger weezalana said...

What is the world coming to when a 99-cent pot pie needs to be recalled. *sigh*

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never had to have anything recalled. They have recalled lots of ground beef patties, but never had any. I guess I have jsut been lucky. Love, Mom

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Kelly said...

I've never been party to a recall. I'm starting to suspect I'm being left out of some cool club or something.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Way to go, cheapass queen! Now if we could only plan for it....

1:00 PM  
Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

So if you weren't getting the big bucks for the recall, I'd have said, you can keep and eat those pies, really, just make sure they are over-cooked. Salmonella isn't one of the stronger nastier things, hot water and soap kill it off our cutting boards, and cooking meet thouroughly takes care of it there...

1:54 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Awww, I want a diatribe! wah wah...So right, we have choices in how and what we eat. It's all a chance. Hope you get $5 each!

2:08 PM  
Blogger Marg. said...

I wonder if these pot pies have anything to do with last year's salmonella peanut butter. Which my older boy practically lived on.

Yeah. We (and his ped) thought that the diarrhea was due to all the juice he was drinking, since he was weaseling like six cups of juice out of various fmaily menbers and all it tiakes is two to give little kids hershey squirts.

Anyway, yeah, my little guy got it, ate it, got sick but survived. And he still likes peanut butter. Go figure.

2:10 PM  
Blogger Magatha said...

My third and last comment. (I don't just come here for your scintillating blog Bez, your commenters are a good read too.)

There's a recall out for the clips that hold my car mats down. Apparently they can break, and if you're a dolt you won't notice that mat creeping up under your accelerator and you'll crash. As if. I have ignored the recall, at my own peril of course.

3:04 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

yeah, they don't call it foul for nothing!

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Necia said...

You are killing me!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, in a good way though! Ever thought about writing a book? I would buy a book authored by you in a heart beat!


12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, here's the deal: The American society is looking for the cheapest deal possible, so for that we receive the cheapest products vendors (w/in and outside the US) can offer. How is it so cheap? Because quality is sacrificed, not to mention, no nevermind I will not go there.

So, there is a reason to bitch and moan, but it should be directed toward the consumers who willingly settle for less.

Just my 1.00 worth of thought...inflation baby.


3:22 PM  
Blogger FairyGodKnitter said...

A friend of mine took back a $9.00 box of just recalled (Topps)hamburger patties and the store gave her the cash. On the way out of the store, she saw that pot pies were on sale for 87 cents each. She bought 10 of them. I think at some point she should get gas money out of all this.

8:58 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

yep, critters, bugs and germs are everywhere. At least you were paying attention.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Oddly I feel like a t.v. dinner now LOL

12:25 PM  

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