Sunday, November 18, 2007

I Don't Get It.

No pictures today. Just crazy ass ranting about nothing related to knitting.

Yesterday I stimulated the American Economy.

Oh dear god, did I ever.

Maybe I was fueled by the fact that we just paid off the credit card we charged 90% of our NJ moving expenses (truck rental, hotel bills, gas, food) on yesterday. Now we can take the money we spent on that card and throw it at the other card that suffers our everyday expenses such as car repair, train tickets, subway fare, and gas. (And don't worry, I didn't use the credit card to stimulate the economy yesterday--I paid cash for everything)

Or maybe I was excited by the fact I was birthday shopping for the Chunk.

Anyway, I decided it was time for a new pair of jeans for yours truly. I have one good pair and I like to have two. The other ones I have in my closet are just too damn loose and I can't keep them up--I hate belts, or they've been worked to death t0 the point that they're embarrassing to wear out of the house.

So I grabbed a pair of men's Low Loose Bootcut jeans. These are total metrosexual jeans. I can't imagine any man actually wearing "low cut" jeans. Maybe I'm old fashioned or I just don't hang around with the right guys.

I picked the closest to my size: 30X32. Normally I wear a 30X30, but I can live with them being a little longer.

On my way to the dressing room, I passed the women's rack of jeans. I figured what the hell, I'd try on a pair of chick pants too.

I grabbed a pair of bootcut chick jeans. Size 12.

In the dressing room (which smelled faintly of piss) I tried on the Man Jeans.

Oh my god, how do I loveth the Man Jeans?

My ass looked sublime! They fit like a dream and hugged all the right curves. They were a little long, but I knew they would be since I couldn't find a 30" inseam on the rack.

Then I put on the chick jeans.

Oh boy.

First of all, they were HUGE.

Now I'm not vain. I wear a size 12 women's pant.

Yeah, I used to wear a size 10 pant back before Chunky was born. But hey, the fact that I've consistently worn a size 12 pant since Chunky was born (almost six years now!) is a good thing. Means I haven't put on any weight in the pants-department!!!

But these size 12s were insane. Buttoned and zipped up, I could pull at them and they slipped off with ease. What the hell???

Not to mention they were baggy in all the wrong places and about four inches too long in the legs. (Way longer than the man jeans!)

I suppose I could have tried on a pair of size 10s to see how those fit...but why bother when the men's pants consistently fit me and women's don't?

I guess this was my first encounter with "vanity sizing." Gah. What a bunch of freaking nonsense. How are we as a nation of overweight people supposed to do something about that fact when we're too busy fooling ourselves about what size we really wear?

And don't go saying it's the fashion and clothing industry doing it. Someone out there is buying this vanity size stuff. Otherwise if we weren't buying it, they wouldn't make it.

Remember New Coke or Crystal Pepsi? No one bought that shit, and they stopped selling it.

God bless the men who want to wear lowcut jeans and have no hangups about the size of their pants.

Since I'm on the topic of fat asses...I've decided to unveil my newest blog-o-scheme: The Christmas Cookie Countdown.

There are five Mondays left til Christmas. Each Monday I'll spotlight a cookie recipe I enjoy. I'll include the recipe and gratuitous cookie porn shots.

It'll be like Friday Food or Yarn Porn Friday posts--except on Monday.

Mondays are begging for a good theme day.

It's no Cheapass Christmass, but you can only beat that departed beast of burden so long.

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19 Comments:

Blogger Linnea said...

Yeah, I hear you in the clothes department. I have everything from size 4 to size 11.

Good idea about the Christmas cookies! I'll try to post a few favorite recipes on my site, too. Pre-made cookie platters do make good, relatively inexpensive gifts.

11:16 AM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

Women's clothing sizing sucks a big one. Men's make so much sense. 32 is 32 always. While I will admit it feels good to buy a smaller size (trying to be honest with myself) I know darn well I didn't lose enough weight to drop a size.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Rebel said...

Yup... vanity sizing sucks. My current size... cough cough... was feeling more fitted than I like. when back to the same exact store where I bought them, bought the exact same brand. Bought one pair in my current size and one in the next size up.

Next size up - litterally falling off, current size - nice and roomy.

the problem is, I have to buy *something* so it's not like I can boycot vanity sizing. (men's clothing doesn't work for me). I do wish we'd move to measurements instead of sizes.

12:05 PM  
Blogger T. Budnik said...

I could go for some cookies right now. Are you actually baking each Monday or just posting?

-T.

1:04 PM  
Blogger sgeddes said...

Good find on the jeans. I don't care about sizes as long as it fits.

I'll miss the cheapass Christmas, but who can say no to cookies?

1:40 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

I'm with Linnea - although my size is decidedly larger than 4 through 11, I have clothing that spans about a 6 size range.

Are we going to see a picture of said bum in said men's jeans?

3:00 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I love how man pants are so good for the look of the girl ass. I stopped buying women's jeans precisely because of vanity sizing. I got really pissed off the day a size 8 was too big. WTF? I'm thin, but that's just ridiculous. You really touched on my pet peeve.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Brena said...

They make lowrise men's jeans? I had no idea. And they fit well in the ass? I'm heading out to Kohl's!

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gene wears Low rise Levis- Bootcut, that is all he will wear. They look quite good on his bum too.He is, of course, a very fashionable man. So now, you guys have something in common.
Me in man jeans? AHahahahha- that is what my big ass is doing....laughing at that thought.

4:13 PM  
Blogger Magatha said...

Cookies and fat asses, how they go hand in hand. As an American, I want my damn cookies and my single digit size jeans too! Dammit.

Heh. I haven't seen single digits since I was your age or maybe earlier.

4:24 PM  
Blogger weezalana said...

This is why I hate clothes shopping. I wind up looking like a total freak piled up with 85 things on the way to the dressing room (because I have to try on three sizes of everything and want to get it all over with at once). But, since I'm totally picky and cheap, I end up walking out with a t-shirt. If that. :P

4:44 PM  
Anonymous Jesh said...

mmmm I love men's jeans. totally clear sizing, and they look good too.

anyway, you'd better include some peanut butter cookies in your recipe roundup! ;)

5:33 PM  
Blogger cpurl17 said...

Me want cookies.

6:33 PM  
Blogger LadyLungDoc said...

Even worse is when you shop at a store that includes clothing with "alternate" sizing - like a 1= small, 2= medium, 3= large, etc. Because then you aren't sure if the size 4 shirt is going to be way too tiny or if you will swim in it.

8:16 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Oh, my! I've worn (much to my dismay) a size 12 since baby four was born. Before baby three, but after babies one and two (who aren't babies, and are actually having their own babies now), I wore a size 6. I'd hate to think that the size 12 Levis I love, because they're getting a little baggy, and I think I might be losing weight, are actually a size 14, and so I've been getting fatter!

Why can't things be what they are? Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. I'll bet she'd be a size 8 these days.

My ass is too big for men's jeans. They tend to pinch and bind in areas where nothing should pinch or bind. Damn! Give me sweatpants. Who cares what size those things are ;).

10:34 PM  
Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

I've been wearing men's jeans since I was 14, when the hips appeared. Being short-wasted and living thru the 80s also meant girl jeans came up just below my armpits...FASHIONABLE!

You know, I'd been wondering why all the stores have been in such a hurry to get rid of their old stock...HUGE sales where nothing fit anyway (I'm between sizes apparently), except the guy jeans I bought, cuz as you know, you can just get the measurement you need.

8:26 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Vanity is a big seller. Imagine the eal size of those 12's!?!

8:56 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

Hmmm, maybe I should try on some men's jeans. It can be a real pian, I find...

12:10 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Me loves coffee and probably will those cookies too! *off to printer!

Um..me loves too men's jeans!! I currently wear a couple pairs of womans, but tug at them and WTF, why are they always so long!!! Hubby and I used to share jeans..Ok, mind out of the gutter, not at the same time! ;)

I hate trying on clothes...like weez, I have to take about 3 sizes in with both tops and bottoms...

9:42 PM  

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