Thursday, December 13, 2007

Explicit Innuendos Ahead

Let that title be a warning to you. Don't complain that I didn't warn you!

Here's the thing about blogging.

Either you've got nothing going on and nothing to blog about; or you've got so much going on you don't have time to blog about it.

It's been Door #2 lately for me.

Work's still a bitch, my evenings have been packed with knitting and creating Christmas presents (I think 90% of my extended family gifts this year are homemade either by me or some Etsy person) and packing those presents into boxes for shipping around the country, and my weekends have been packed with birthday parties for Chunky's friends, tree shopping, and just this past Sunday hanging with the NY knitters that sweetened the pot when we were considering moving to Jersey.

Today has to be my most favorite day of all though.

I am hereby calling today my first "real" New Jersey Winter Storm. Oh and what a "storm" it was!

It was one of those things that the Weather Channel people call a "wintry mix." We had hail, we had snow, we had sleet, we had rain. Every form of precipitation falling from the sky you could imagine, aside from frozen plane pee chunks.

I guess that's why they call it a "wintry mix." Although when I think "wintry mix" I think of frozen Chex and peanuts.

First the good things I have to say about this storm.

I was shocked at how cautious NJ drivers are in this weather. I went out at lunch to mail some of the aforementioned packages, and people were going 25 mph in 50 mph zones! Wow!

For all the impatience NJ drivers have in normal weather, I was really shocked they behaved so well in this slop.


Finally, the bad things I have to say about this storm.

New Jersey residents--ok, ok, broad generalization there-- let's correct that to just include the 70 or so NJ residents I work with--are pussies.

We had three classes of pussies emerge today at work.

The first class were the Big Dry Pussies. These are the people that freaked out when the weather forecast was merely predicting snow and ice. These are the ones that called in or worked from home before the snow even hit the ground. The home-workers were the attorneys--I'll cut them some slack. I guess if you spend all that time and money at law school the least you're entitled to is a day in front of the computer in your jammies.

The second class consisted of the Nooner Pussies. These were the people who made it to work (the precipitation didn't start til about 10:30 a.m.) but panicked and up and left at 12:00 p.m.

The third class were the Moist Pussies. These were the ones that were rarin' to go when it started to ACTUALLY get wet out. They all left anywhere from 2:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.

Here's the rub with these three classes of pussies--the partners never allowed anyone to go home early. These people just decided to up and leave. I will cut the two girls who got calls from their daycare centers being told that the centers were closing for the day some slack, but everyone else just took the law into their own hands and left.

Maybe I'm a goody two shoes (ok, not maybe--I AM a goody two shoes) but I would never dream of just up and leaving work without permission. I'd only leave without permission if the building was in ruins after a tornado. Of course since I went out at lunch, I knew what the conditions were like and I wasn't freaked in the least.

By 3:00 p.m. there were five secretaries left.


Out of twenty total.

I suppose I can't complain too much. I was finally given the blessing by the partners to go home at 4:15 p.m.

The saddest part is that this weather was NOTHING. It was just slush on the roads. Even if I wasn't an Alaskan-winter trained driver, it was nothing to moisten your panties about at all.

Like I told one of the other five secretaries left this afternoon, maybe somehow we'll be karmically rewarded for our hard work and dedication. I kind of doubt it though.


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Blogger Magatha said...

Great post! I would never leave work without permission either, unless I intended to never come back. I'd say the weather wuss analogy is apropos. They were scared. Or maybe, any excuse will do!

5:48 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

You mean people actually go to work in that kind of weather?? We'd be shut down for days. ;)

5:54 PM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

(That last pic is very pretty btw)

I'm surprised that the northerners pussed out so much. I'd expect that down here in Charlotte, but up there? Wow. I'm shocked.

7:10 PM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

I am a goody goody and would stay. I, fortunately, have a supervisor that does not drive so if the weather is the least bit iffy, she thinks I should leave because after all, I have to cross the bridge from Phila back to NJ. Do I take advantage of this. You bet. After 12 hours of doing trainings this week and having to make up that work, I'll take what I can get. But, I agree. Some drivers are wussy.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

I know what you mean. I work with people who do this all the time, too. The weather wasn't that bad here in Delaware - we had a bit of sleet at lunch time, but that was it. That being said, my first winter here (back in 2003) we had 2.5 feet of snow in February - so it can happen.

7:52 PM  
Blogger sgeddes said...

First - Nice pictures. I like the lights under ice.

Like turtlegirl sadi - that happens all the time here; but I'm really surprized that it happens up there.

A couple years ago everyone in the city left early and schools were let out because of some ice and it was utter and complete chaos. Kids had to spend the night at school. I live about 40 miles from work and it took me about 10 Hours to get home.

8:56 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I got my first taste of how NJers deal with winter conditions in the early part of the year. Today, when I heard it was supposed to snow/be messy out, I knew that if it did more than rain, the office was closing. 1:30, the email came and we were allowed to leave at 2. Into the city I went for a late lunch with the hubby and home to some peace and quiet before the kid came home. NYC very rarely closes anything. Methinks NJ people freak out too much. But I enjoy the benefits of their freak outs! :)

8:57 PM  
Blogger weezalana said...

Isn't it amazing how some people freak out when water falls from the sky? Frozen chunks of pee aside, that is. 'Cause you know, that would freak me the hell out.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Beverly said...

I noticed the same thing about people in my company when our area had an ice storm on Tuesday. We didn't have anything but rain in the city limits, so anyone who lives in town was just a weenie for not coming to work, or leaving early.

10:09 PM  
Blogger JRS said...

What wusses. I have no patience when people in Missouri freak out over an inch of snow. Here in Sapporo, we get more snow than any other city in the world of 1 mil+. Meters and meters each season. With NO ROCK SALT. Doesn't exist here. Also no liability laws, so the sidewalks and roads aren't shoveled or de-iced at all. It's several months of nothing but ice and snow that is not removed. Whee! No studded tires allowed, either!

Yet, there is no such thing as a snow day in Japan. Everything keeps running, everyone is on time, no one stays home whining. I'm guessing it's the same in AK?

10:10 PM  
Blogger The Curly Knitter said...

I'm glad you guys in NJ didn't get hit too hard. My work actually told us to leave at 1:15. We're in MA. It took me more than three hours to get home. My commute is usually 30 minutes. I'm with you though, I'd never leave without permission.

6:14 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

For a bunch of people who will not leave their precious state for anywhere else, who drive worse than we do in New Orleans, and who talk tough, well... I think you said it ;-)

7:25 AM  
Blogger Cheesy Knit Wit said...

I am with Christi about the people getting nervous and such over winter weather. I'm don't leave early unless our electricity has went out, or we are told to leave, which the later has happened exactly 1 time.

I have missed exactly 4 days of work due to winter weather in my almost 20 years of working for the man.



8:41 AM  
Blogger Criosa said...

we do the leaving early thing here in MN too. (but we all have pretty flexible schedules at my law firm - as long as you work your 37.5 hours a week [oh yeah, full time does not equal 40 hrs here], they really don't care how you divvy it up. sometimes I forget not every employer is like that)

here, the problem isn't so much the fact that the weather sucks, it's that everyone goes into a panic and it take HOURS to get home. (especially the first snowfall of the season. everyone forgets how to drive in the 9 months without snow.) So we leave early to avoid traffic, which doesn't work because everyone else is also thinking the same thing.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Connie said...

I grew up in a rural area, lived on a township road and had a "discussion" with my boss because she made it to work from the Twin Cities (an hour away) and I couldn't make it in from 5 miles out of town. The difference was the road maintenance - highways get plowed, rural township roads are the last on the list. I know here - in MN - the problem can be the roads but more often it is the time spent on the roads due to stupid drivers who don't slow down, have an accident, and clog the system for everyone else!

9:07 AM  
Blogger Cindy in Happy Valley said...

Nobody went anywhere here, next door to NJ. But let me say, that all it takes is one "roll over" accident, on an apparently "dry" road that is really black ice and your sympathies increase exponentially. Trust me. And don't ever drive on Rt 80 through the Danville or Milesburg PA area during ice storms unless you have a death wish.

9:18 AM  
Blogger knottygnome said...

yeah people are idiots. even though we get snow here all the time, people still whine and complain, plus they drive like maniacs. i've nearly been killed crossing the street more times than i can count.

oh and to respond to turtlegirl's comment and to justify some pussiness: i would not classify NJ as "northern," but as "mid-atlantic," perhaps. but maybe that's just me.

10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I'm a Polyanna, I AM POLYANNA. I say that you will get noticed for not leaving, it may not be today or tomorrow but you will get noticed. And it may not be in the way that you would like...less work. But when evaluation time rolls around.
I really liked the pic of the Christmas lights. Are there more? Love, Mom

12:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I'm a Polyanna, I AM POLYANNA. I say that you will get noticed for not leaving, it may not be today or tomorrow but you will get noticed. And it may not be in the way that you would like...less work. But when evaluation time rolls around.
I really liked the pic of the Christmas lights. Are there more? Love, Mom

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oppps! I don't know how that got there twice! Love, Mom

12:09 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Those frozen lights look awesome!!

I dont understand the panic, run from work, and buy out the grocery store mentality. We don't live in the freakin boonies!

I also wouldn't leave early from work without permission. My job NEVER closes, even in the midst of a snowstorm. I'm pretty convinced that a tornado could come by, blow the roof off and my job would tell us to keep plugging away.

My daughter's girl scout meeting wasn't cancelled either and this meeting was their Christmas party. Do you know only 4 girls showed up? So I was invited to stay and help eat some of those extra christmas cupcakes. :)

12:11 PM  
Blogger Rebel said...

Everyone just needed a break and this was a good excuse... they have presents to wrap too.

I want to go on the record right now with my NJ weather prediction.

BIG STORM on Feb. 10th (give me a few days in either direction - but that's the day I'm sticking with). It's a kid I grew up with's birthday and we always had a big storm then - like '3 feet of snow & power outages' storm. So unless global warming has royally screwed up everything I knew about the weather in NJ... big storm 2/10/08, you heard it here first!

12:33 PM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

Huhuhuhuh... huhhhhuuuhuhuh.

You said "rub" and "pussies" in the same sentence.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Wintry mix sounds delicious (mmm...frozen chex).

I do love the weather paranoia - you see three snowflakes and everyone needs to run home. The weatherman predicts three snowflakes for tomorrow and there isn't a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk to be found after the run on the grocery store.

Good times.

2:54 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Yeah, around here, we all just slow down and drive a little more slowly. But we don't flip out. A few years ago, there were almost daily storms for 2 weeks. My city just got up a little earlier to move the snowplow pile out form the end of the driveway and went to work. Although we might have been a few minutes late, no-one wussed out. In Toronto (they share the same weather as us) they called out the freaking army!

4:29 PM  
Blogger Ina said...

Goody for you - excellent work ethic!

10:16 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Oh, man! That's so funny! I live in Maine, but I didn't grow up here, and even I'm not daunted by snow. In fact, I was pregnant with baby four when I had my ... er, first experience ;), driving in the snow. I was at an OB appointment, and it wasn't snowing when I went into the appointment. When I came out, there was already four inches of snow on the ground and it was nearly a white-out. It took me an hour and a half to drive what should have taken me a twenty minutes. Most of it was slow traffic :). I'm continually surprised at people's reactions to our weather. Hello, people! We live in Maine. Get used to it, okay? Seriously, it's gonna snow!

10:50 PM  
Blogger cpurl17 said...

If I ever move to a State with Ice Storms I'll be that annoying old lady in front of you driving 10MPH.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Well, let's see here. Yep, I am at a loss. Who would have thought that the New Jerseyians (Jerseyites?) would be bigger babies about snow and ice than the Texans. Granted, we don't see AS MUCH of it, but wouldn't you think it would freak us out more?

12:22 AM  
Anonymous bufanditas said...

All of San Antonio would have probably reacted like the first bunch. ;) Oh well, we don't know how to handle even a little bit of snow.

5:45 PM  
Blogger Ed said...

We get a light smattering of snow over here and it's like the end of the world.
But we still get some peeps driving at the stated speed limit, like it's a target not a limit.

Any chance for slacking off work should never be missed tho'

9:12 AM  

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