Friday, December 21, 2007

Upchucked

In honor of my inadvertent Christmas holiday day off today thanks to my Sweet Chunky, I'm recycling this post I did last year.

Sadly my day off means I'm exhausted from cleaning barf out of bedsheets at all hours of the morning and running to the corner store in my sweatpants before Dr. Mad Scientist goes to work so I can pick up some saltines and Gatorade and pay 10 times what I would have to pay for it had I purchased it at Shoprite and NOT a convenience store.

But hey! It's Christmas! Suck (or mop) it up, right?! Ironically (because I didn't plan to do it this way) I posted this exactly one year ago today on December 21st as my little cyber nose thumbing at the grinches and negativity that seem to run rampant this time of year.


Listen! Do You Wanna Know a Secret?

I love Christmas!

I don’t mind that people go to the mall and fight tooth and nail for the latest animatronic Muppet that giggles, dances, and shits itself.

I don’t buy that crap for my son and he doesn’t ever want it. I don’t have to go near the toy store or mall to fight the crowds.

If people want to wait in the cold in a line at Oh-Dark-Hundred to get their hands on the latest plasma screen HD automatic crescent wrench shaving cream warmer--I don't mind. Whatever flips their cookies.

I'd rather get four pinecones that make me smile in the mail from an old coworker back in Lansing for Christmas.

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I love Santa and Mrs. Claus.

I love that my son came home from school a couple of weeks ago after Santa and Mrs. Claus visited them and informed me that Santa was very nice and Mrs. Claus was looking “quite fashionable.”

I love that he believes in Santa.

I don’t mind that I have to “lie” to him about Santa. I remember being “lied to” about Santa as a kid and guess what? I don’t hate my parents and sob into the couch pillow of a therapist about how they ruined my adult life with the myth of Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

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I love that my son refused to tell me what he wanted for Christmas because if he spoke what he wanted aloud it “wouldn’t come true.”

I love that when I finally did get out of him what he wanted for Christmas it was two things. Two simple things.

I love that I know even though I didn’t get him one of those two things, he will be totally enamored with everything else under the tree that it won’t matter.

I love that my family doesn’t mind getting homemade presents. Or if they do mind, they don’t bitch about it to my face.

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I love the stress of getting the decorations up and the cards sent and the cookies baked and the Christmas dinner served. I thrive on that stress.

I love the way the last two weeks of the year the world slows down, people take time off of work and school to stay at home and the mood in the air is one of a palpable laid-back nature.

I love that nothing is expected of me the last two weeks of the year at work. And if something is expected, if it’s a little late they’re willing to use “the holidays” as an excuse for its tardiness.

I love that some people try to be PC around this time of year and wish others a “Happy Holiday” or a “Season’s Greetings” in case they don't celebrate Christmas.

I think it rocks that so many different trains of thought all seem to converge at the same station this time of year for the same purpose of peace, love and understanding.

I love that on Christmas we will spend half of the day on the phone calling the two sets of parental units in Alaska and a certain sister of mine who will probably be bitching about how "cold" it is in Atlanta.

So many people have meltdowns or go ranting and raving about everything from the excess consumerist gluttony we experience or feel pressured to experience this time of year; the sham of a fat guy in a red suit; how crappy it is that some people call it a "holiday tree" and not a "Christmas tree" as not to offend anyone; how frazzled and stressed they feel to keep up with the Marthas and make sure their napkin rings match the toilet seat cover; or how they hate having to juggle Christmas dinner between spending it at drunken Uncle Louie’s house and their sister Chatty Cathy's house.

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I’m just thankful that:

I have a kid to lie to about Santa Claus to and buy presents for;
I have a home to worry about decorating;
I have friends and family to send Christmas cards to;
I have friends who don’t celebrate Christmas (but a different holiday instead);
I have a family to spend Christmas with (Even if it is just my immediate family. Enjoy your Drunken Uncle Louie and sister Chatty Cathy's Christmas dinners! We haven't seen many of our siblings and some parental units for nearly 7 years!)

But finally, I'm thankful that y'all are here to listen to my own little Christmas rant!

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19 Comments:

Blogger Wendy said...

I'm sorry to hear your little guy isn't feeling well. Sending healing thoughts your way, and hopes that it's just a quick-not-feeling-well-day, and tomorrow he'll be his usual bouncing self ;).

P.S. I loved your Christmas "rant" ;). I, too, have a lot to be thankful for, and even when things aren't exactly like I'd have them be, I'm reminded of how good I have it.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Rebel said...

Always so environmentally conscious - recycling your posts even. Well this was awesome the first time I read it and needs to be repeated every year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

12:33 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Awww I hope he feels better soon.

This is a great post, totally worth being repeated.

12:46 PM  
Blogger LilKnitter said...

Poor Chunky! Hope it's out of his system very soon!

I loved that post last year, and I love it this year, too. And whoa! Chunky has grown a LOT since last Christmas, hasn't he?

Merry Christmas to you, Bezzie! You rock!

1:18 PM  
Blogger Trillian42 said...

Poor Chunky (and poor you!) I hope he's back to normal in time for Christmas.

Hugs to you and yours, my dear!!!

1:19 PM  
Blogger IrishgirlieKnits said...

Hope Chunky is feeling better soon!!

The rant is absolutely perfect! We all have so much to be thankful for! Hope you are enjoying the holidays (well, now that the sheets are washed and all...)!

1:32 PM  
Blogger Dkswife said...

My husband and I have been very blessed, even though there have been many horrible things to deal with the past three years.

I got your card, and I loved it!

Thank you.

:)

1:41 PM  
Blogger janna said...

Hear, hear! I so agree!

Hope Chunky's better -- it's awful to be sick on Christmas (and to spend it cleaning up after him!).

Merry Christmas!

3:43 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Hope the Chunkster gets better soon!! My guy is suffering from 4 wisdom teeth removal..yes he wanted it done before Christmas...
Take care you!

4:50 PM  
Blogger T. Budnik said...

It was an excellent post last year and it's an excellent post this year.

I hope Chunky's feeling better--I was at the mall today and walked past the Lego store and totally thought of him!

Merry Christmas!

-T.

PS. I've worked retail the last three holiday seasons and, although I've probably complained about the customers, I'll say that I'm mighty thankful that I've had employment!

5:00 PM  
Blogger The Curly Knitter said...

Merry Christmas!

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Tipsy Aunt Nik said...

It was a year ago that I proclaimed myself "Tipsy Aunt Nik", born from this blog.
It brings a tear to my eye , I am so proud.
And still gong strong, I might add....
Merry Christmas, K-bezzie.

6:18 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Poor Chunky! I guess the name Chunky takes on a whole new meaning, huh? I hope your little guy feels better soon.

Great post from last year and the last pic is hilarious!!

7:42 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Here's hoping he feels better for Christmas. It would suck to be sick on C-day!

8:59 PM  
Blogger Magatha said...

Bah Humbug! I am one of those Grinches. But I do appreciate that others want a few days of artificial peace love and joy, so I mostly keep my bitching to myself. Mostly.
I do love the lights. I do hate the overspending. I do love when peeps cook their little goodies just for others to eat. I do love the pretty cards.

Merry Christmas to all the Bezzies far and wide!

Hey, I keep my vomit stuff in the house at all times. Coke and soda crackers are medicine! Get well soon Chunkito! Santa's coming!

9:02 PM  
Blogger Disco said...

That post is just as sweet this year as last.

And I was vomited on today too, although, thankfully, it was much easier to clean from our tiled floor, than your bedsheets. Ick! Hope he's all better soon.

10:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get well Chunky!! Santa is coming!! Don't forget to leave him some of your Mom's great cookies!!
This post brought a tear to my eyes last year and does again this year, even more so. We all have so much to be thankful for this year....Your Youngest Sister only totaled her car and not herself, my Bc was a stage 0, your sister T got a good job, same with your MYB, same with DRMS. All is good with our world.
Merry Christmas!!!
Love, Mom

10:17 AM  
Blogger Alisha said...

I am sorry to hear Chunky was sick. At least it was a few days before Christmas and not on Christmas Day.

I loved reading your re-cycled post. You make me smile and think of all I am thankful for.

All the best Bezzie! You rock!

11:49 AM  
Blogger Vaedri said...

I wasn't around here last year, so this is my first read of your 'rant'. Thank-you! It's gotten to the point where I feel like almost guilty for liking this time of year, because everyone else seems so miserable.
I've had the 'Happy Holidays' and 'Christmas/Holiday tree' rant aimed at me so many times I've lost count. Thanks for sharing your love of Christmas!

10:06 AM  

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