Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Ok, it's settled. From this day forward, the rules have been amended.

You enter once, and you're only eligible for that month. The pot shall not rollover like it did last year.

So if you don't win the month you enter, then you're out of luck for the X number of months left in the year.

The whole intent of the keeping one's name in the pool was to keep the momentum going throughout the year--to keep it fresh in everyone's minds.

I'll bet that this year the list doesn't top 161.


In my email box this morning:

Dear Bezzie, coordinator of the K.A.Y.E. program,

My kootchie is cold--and has been rooted by many certified doctors, and some not-so-certified people and objects. I know it haven’t actually had it done this month, but can you enter my name in your drawing? I'm asking for a skein of yarn to keep my kootchie warm. See, with a skein of yarn I can knit my rooted cooter a Kootchie Kozy (I can send you the pattern). The world's kootchie are better because of you.

Cold Cooter

Boy, I wish I could win the lottery (and not the Irish one I keep getting emails about) and give everyone who had their cooter rooted a skein of yarn.

But sadly I can’t.

When I first started this contest, it was in the spirit to get women to get in to see their doctors.

My sister-in-law neglected to see her doctor and was diagnosed with cervical cancer.

They had to open her up, and basically scoop out her internal lady parts to make sure it didn’t spread. Thank Squashola the cancer was contained to her lady parts.

Six months after this, a coworker of mine in Texas, after being chided by us to just go in already and have a pap, did. And she too was diagnosed with cancer and had to have a hysterectomy as a result.

After listening to her get the diagnosis of cancer over the phone and listening to her choked sobs as she heard the news, I decided there had to be something I could do.

I will never forget the sound of someone reacting to being told that they have cancer.

And thus K.A.Y.E. was born.

Last year I had 161 people participate in K.A.Y.E.

A few people emailed me to let me know that they were glad for the bribery of a chance to win yarn because lo and behold something suspicious was found. As far as I know, those people are all OK today.

Shit, even my own mother, who hadn’t been in to have her cooter rooted in many years scraped up the cash to get it done. While her cooter came back clean, her mammo that they couple on to a cooter rooting when you get to a certain age did not.

The woman doesn’t even knit or crochet (quilting is her drug of choice) but each month she crossed her fingers that her name would get pulled and she’d have an instant Christmas present for me. Ha ha!

The point is, while K.A.Y.E. is about the yarn, it is more about the message and getting women to go in and get scraped.

When I dreamed up this scheme, I didn’t think it would be as popular as it was and that I would continue it another year.

As such, some irregularly spun sections of the yarn have come to light:

What about those people who go in at the end of the year? Their names are only in the pot for X months. People who enter in January have a statistically better chance of winning than those who go in in November.

What about people who have to go in every six months (or more)? Do they get to enter their name twice thus doubling their chances?

Can you enter in January if you made your appointment IN January for a rootin’ in July?

For the last two questions, my knee jerk reaction is to flat out say sorry, but no.

Unfortunately, I don’t know how to answer the first question.

Since I didn’t think I was going to be returning this contest this year, I didn’t keep track of what month each person emailed me their entry.

I suppose I could go back and sift through the 100+ emails and sort it out and then instead of starting with a fresh pot, each month’s last year entries get booted (for example, everyone but January 2007’s names stay in the pot this time—anyone from January 2007 would have to send in their new 2008 entry, and in February, I pull the names from February 2007..etc.)

I can’t even describe how much time that would take though.

Could I take an IOU? Say a promise or blood oath that you WILL be rooted later this year? However, it’s really easy to promise something…and in 10 months forget about that promise.

I’m distraught by these snags. I knew from the get-go that my rules weren’t 100% wonderful. But find me any contest that is 100% fair to everyone.

Like a finicky piece of knitting, do I keep on plugging through and accept the flaws in my finished object?

Do I put it in timeout and try to think of better ways to come up with knitting around the problem areas? How long will that take.

Do I frog the whole damn thing and give up?

I’ll be honest, I’m a little saddened by the sentiments of Cold Cooter and the fixation on win, win, winning. But I guess that’s to be expected when you offer anything as a prize.

Maybe this contest wasn’t meant to go on another year.



Anonymous Shelley said...

When I heard about KAYE and looked it up, the rules were pretty clear. It actually prompted me to go in for a rootin', and even though I did make the appointment earlier in the year, it was obvious that you enter when you have HAD your appointment. I know I'm supposed to get checked more often (and I am one of the twice a year people) and the contest was just the kick in the ass I needed. I am a lucky escapee of cancer - when I was 16, no less, so it's a huge deal for me.

I think you should start over exactly as you did last year. You have your rootin in Jan 2008, enter then. Even last year's January entries don't guarantee that they've gone in again this year. If you really want to get in on the contest early, schedule your appointment earlier in the year. You don't have to wait for a full year!

Really, the win is taking care of yourself and finding out that you're okay. Even catching something early enough to deal with it is more of a win than putting it off and putting it off and then having to lose body parts. The yarn is a great bonus and motivation, but really, the contest is a reward from a very generous person who cares a lot, and it should be respected as such. The rules are just common sense.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

I don't think your contest is flawed. Its very clear that AFTER you've had your appointment, you can THEN enter the contest. Clear as day.

I don't know about you, but I never got the lollipop BEFORE I saw the doctor. Same goes for this contest.

Your yarny generosity is merely an incentive for us ladies to go get checked, so rather than nit-picking at the rules, people should enter when they've had their appointment and shut up.

Seriously, we should be able to get our cooters rooted without a yarny incentive...our health should be incentive enough.

I think you should continue KAYE just as it is, but if people are harassing you about it, then I'm supportive even if you get rid of it.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

I'm not trying to be rude here, but I thought the rules were simple. Go have a pap, report to you it's done, get a chance to win yarn for THE month it was done and another chance at the end of the year ~ extra drawing you added. Did I miss the fine print? I thought it was really nice to have a chance to win yarn for something I should do anyway, but more important, maybe those few who were nudged into going may otherwise have not. I worked with someone who passed away too young from this, and so did my mom. This can be prevented, and you're helping.

10:51 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

I think it is sad that someone is complaining about a contest. My personal opinion is if you don't like it, don't enter.

Me? Instead of being upset that I didn't win yarn, I'd be thankful I went to the doctor and got checked out.

10:53 AM  
Blogger Miss T said...

Nobody should complain about a contest--it's a contest! What's important is the reminder. It's nice that you care enough to remind people, and generous enough to make that reminder into a contest. Complainers should go elsewhere.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

I think what you did is a wonderful thing and you should be proud of the results. You goaded women into something they should do anyway. Please don't let one person take away the pride you should feel in doing something generous and good.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I agree that it's extremely rude to complain about something that gives you the potential to get something very nice for free.

That being said, since you ASKED for input, is there a reason why it's not a month-by-month contest?

By that I mean entries recieved in January are eligible for the January contest etc. Only one entry per month, obviously. People who have to get their cooters rooted twice a year are still doing a good thing for their bodies, and so what if they then get an extra chance? They suffered through an extra spread and scrape!

People could have the potential to spread the word and get 5 of their friends to go get their cooters rooted and be eligible for subsequent drawings. Still only one entry per month, but if a woman is extremely motivated to get free yarn, she can get 55 of her friends to go get rooted!

Then the pool doesn't keep getting bigger and bigger as the year goes by, and people have the incentive to not only get their cooters rooted, but to spread the word through the year and have their friends get their cooters rooted.

Does that make sense or help?

11:15 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

I was going to say what Michelle said, but she said it first. Phhhpt on contest complainers. Good grief.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

There was YARN involved?!?! :) Seriously, there are more important things to life than yarn, free or not. I thought the contest rules were very clear as well. You shouldn't change it because some people complain. You're the one being generous here, and I know we all thank you for it. At least I do.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Dkswife said...

Personally, cold cooter really has some balls to beg for yarn...Gosh I make myself laugh sometimes :)

I say carry on as always or just quit. It's your contest.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Bezzie said...

This wouldn't be an issue, but it's not just one person pointing out snags.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Macoco said...

Bezzie, It saddens me to hear that people are complaining about the contest. I think they're losing sight of the fact that the real reward in all of this is that they're taking care of their body.

12:21 PM  
Blogger sgeddes said...

I didn't win any yarn last year - my prize was a clean bill of health from the doctor. It doesn't really get better than that.

If you do continue the KAYE awarness, I'd say continue it as you did last year. If people can't figure it out or don't like it that is just too damed bad.

12:21 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

If you want to be really, really fair, then save up all the prizes and give them all out at the end of the year. everyone who entered gets the same chance. but fer cryin out loud, you are not a charity or a government office where they HAVE to be fair. run it the way you want, IF you want and the hell with 'em!

12:22 PM  
Blogger Amby said...

No good deed goes unpunished, it seems to me. Ok, maybe that's a little melodramatic. Like dkswife said, it's YOUR contest, snags or no. As long as you make the rules CLEAR, who cares if they're snag-free or not? LIFE AIN'T ALWAYS FAIR! You've helped spread a wonderful message, been honest enough to share the experiences of your friends and family, and even offered up some yarn as a bonus!

I'm going for my cooter rootin' in February...I haven't entered the contest because gawd knows I don't need any more yarn...but I give you such kudos for starting KAYE.

Big hugs to you, and to the nit-pickers...eh, I fart in their general direction!

12:27 PM  
OpenID knitterbunny said...

Dude, Wtf? You need to get the pap smear done anyway. Suck it up. You (bezzie) don't HAVE to give away yarn. You're doing it because it's important to you to spread the word. I get one done every year anyway.

If you're going to keep and and want to change it, then just do it monthly like some of the other commenters suggested. Less stress for you and you get one chance and one chance only. I'm fine with that. :)

12:34 PM  
Blogger weezalana said...

I have to go with the "screw the complainers" team. It's YOUR contest. If people want to bitch and complain about xyz isn't fair they are COMPLETELY missing the point and can kiss your ass. Hell, they can kiss MY ass.

If that's their mentality, then what - if I buy a lottery ticket every week and don't win, but some yahoo buys one just for fun and does, then I should consider that unfair? Puh-leeze.

Ignore the grabby people who are whining about not winning yarn for whatever selfish reason. Continue K.A.Y.E. as is, on your terms.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Stickyfingers said...

I (heart) the KAYE. I would miss it if it were gone.
Naysayers be damned! Nothing in life is perfect, nor is it guaranteed.

Bezzie, you've done something really awesome, and encouraged a lot of ladies to take care of themselves. If anything, we should be sending YOU yarn! If you do decide to throw in the towel, would you consider passing the torch instead? I'd be willing to carry on such a worthy cause.

1:03 PM  
Blogger Sherry W said...

I guess I can understand some of the questions if they were like: "If I got it done two weeks ago can I still enter for this year"

Otherwise holy cats people! Chill out!

(BTW Bezz, I can perhaps destash some nice sock yarn on you for the contest, if you'd like.)

1:08 PM  
Blogger Jacquiebean said...

Please allow me to have a go at answering these:

A: What about those people who go in at the end of the year....statistically better chance of winning....etc. November.

Q: Well then this is good incentive for you go get checked asap, isn't it? BTW: totally rude of you to question the method here...Bez's contest, Bez's rules. Unless you're the yarny sponsor of the whole thing, faff off.

Q: What about people who have to go in every six months (or more)? Do they get to enter their name twice thus doubling their chances?

A: SO what if they do? If they have to go in twice, chances are they have some worry on their minds and could use a yarny surprise more than the rest of us to cheer them up. BTW: totally rude of you to question the method here...Bez's contest, Bez's rules. Unless you're the yarny sponsor of the whole thing, faff off.

Q: Can you enter in January if you made your appointment IN January for a rootin’ in July?

Q: No. And I won't lend you money either. Give your head a shake. BTW: totally rude of you to question the method here...Bez's contest, Bez's rules. Unless you're the yarny sponsor of the whole thing, faff off.

Bez..please don't get discouraged. I don't care if you keep on with the contest or not, but don't let the rude bastards get you down. Gourds do I ever hate a sense of entitlement in people!

1:19 PM  
Blogger buttercup said...

Ditto what everyone else said.

And to the person who pointed out the flaw of having a statistically better chance of winning yarn if you have your appointment early in the year...

I go annually (it's all insurance will pay for) in April. I did not win yarn. I didn't do it for the yarn. I did it because it was kinda fun to be given a pat on the back for doing something very unpleasant. I reported in for the "atta girl!"

Bezzie, if you want someone to help sorting out the e-mails you received so your contest is a rolling year (jan07-dec07; feb07-Jan08) I'd be more than willing to take care of that for you. Naturally, as an "employee" of K.A.Y.E I'd be inelegible for any prizes. Just saying that up front.

PM me. I have the time to help if you decide to go that route.

1:20 PM  
Blogger IrishgirlieKnits said...

Bezzie, I totally agree that people are missing the whole point of this contest!! Its about awareness and taking care of ourselves. And sure there is a prize (a quite lovely yarny prize), but I agree with so many of the comments. The prize to each of us is taking care of ourselves. The yarn is the cherry on top.

I love your contest, rules and all!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Gee Bezzie, my doctor doesn't want to root me again for another 2.5 years, so why don't you just mail me the qiviut already. It's not my fault my doctor doesn't want to see me more often. Your contest is ageist against women who are sliding toward menopause.

(You know I'm joking, right? If my spinning gets good enough, I might be mailing you some yarn for prizes.)

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YEAH!!!! To all of you!!! I think that cold cooter's note was suppose to be a joke. And maybe they do have BALLS.... if you get my drift. This is YOUR contest and you should go by YOUR rules, not anyone elses. So I vote what ever you decide I will support you! If you stop K.A.Y.E. we all will be saddened but understand. If you keep K.A.Y.E. going maybe we all can chip in and help you manage it. This contest has made that yearly thing a bit more tolerable and has put a fire under some of us to get off our duffs and find new DRs. To all the complainers they can take a flying leap!!! Love, Mom

1:30 PM  
Blogger Ina said...

Sorry the snags are getting you down! I think it's entirely up to you whether and how the contest runs. So whatever you decide, nose up and onward.

1:38 PM  
Blogger Disco said...

What everyone else said.

Be fair, don't be fair - do what you want, it's your contest.

Some people really need a kick in the cooter - maybe that'll stop them complaining.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Nadine said...

So ditto everything everyone else has said. You got into to this contest to do a good thing. I go every year anyway (they hold my birth control pills ransom) but even the chance that my cooter rootin' could lead to some yummy yarn is awesome. Just the chance makes that event a little more bearable. I usually end up buying myself something that day anyway, I always need some retail therapy after my rootin'. I would just say to keep on keepin' on. Do what makes you happy. If the contest is a hassle, don't do it anymore. I will miss it, but I will understand. Power to the Cooters!!!

2:04 PM  
Blogger Cindy in Happy Valley said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

2:12 PM  
Blogger Cindy in Happy Valley said...

Let's try this again....

My response to anyone who has the unmitigated gall to criticize a for fun and health "contest" which has no payoff (other than good will) for the sponsor (that's you Bezzie) would be (is)....

B.I.T.E. M.E.

That's better...carry on.

2:27 PM  
Blogger Beverly said...

I'm sorry that the selfish few amongst the grateful many have stressed you out. You are doing such a good thing here. I was just thinking that the other day when I was contemplating making my next gyno appointment. The rules seem very clear to me. Poo on the thick-headed.

I echo buttercup--if you need any clerical assistance should you decide to change the way you're doing things, I would be honored to help. PM on the Knittyboard (Shanes_heart).

3:07 PM  
Blogger funfairiegirl said...

I am pretty clear on the contest and - its YOUR contest! Start fresh - like a nice spring scented douche if you will - if you want to mess with it again next year (or think you might) start a spreadhseet with a list of the entrants and their cooter rootin dates IF you want to give them a year of winning potential, but hey, I wouldn't worry much over it. This is a good thing you are doing!

While winning yarn is nice, knowing I don't have cancer is so much nicer!

3:58 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I just wanted to say that I think your contest/ motivational tool was a great idea. You are what motivated me to make an appointment. I called in October and the first appointment they had was January 24th. I figured you wouldn't carry KAYE through this year but I was still grateful that you brought it to mind. I read you blog, and this is the first time I have actually commented. I don't know if you should continue or not.. that is gonna have to be your choice.. but I do think that you did a good thing.

4:50 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Holy crap. What the heck is wrong with people? I can not even fathom complaining....there isn't anything to complain about. Those are people who have far to much fucking time on their hands.

You know I did my thing I think back in Feb. and I looked forward to seeing what you had on the winners block. I would pop over the beginning of each month to see if I'd won and even though I didn't it was always fun to check out who had and I usually would visit their blog.

Of course I'd love to win, who wouldn't? But it isn't all about the winning. It is about the awareness your creating. It is about coming to read a blog I truly enjoy and having some fun with something that can be a worry and unpleasant.

I am due to get checked next month. I have to make the appointment. I am very worried. This will be my first check up since I got a clean bill from the clinic that was watching me for over a year. I did the whole cone biopsy for bad cells. I am worrying about if this time things will be okay. Your contest certainly is a positive to something that is weighing on my mind.

Bezzie, anyone who complained cross them off the list and do the contest your way. See how they like them rules LOL

6:24 PM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

Wait - that e-mail was for real? Seriously? Who the hell hits up Bezzie the non-stasher for yarn? Sheesh. Ya wanna beg for yarn there's better targets to hit up. Leave the K.A.Y.E prizes for the people that participated in the spirit it was started. To support a good cause. You wanna hit someone up for yarn come talk to me. Don't expect to get anything other than a snarky reply, but at least the tree you'd be barking up would be more appropriate. Bleh. People suck.

7:19 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

You know, I entered, not with the expectation of winning, because I don't knit, but in the spirit of what you intended - protecting myself, and getting an examination that can detect a cancer that is easily treatable if caught early, but can have devastating effects if not. So, there you go. I think you're wonderful for having done it in the first place, and given the financial crisis you had last year, and all of this yarn coming out of your pocket .... Anyway, it reminds me of the freecycle people who need a 32" color television in good condition from a non-smoking home. Seriuosly, people. This was for fun! Don't change a thing - except to delete the names of the people who piss you off. That'll teach 'em ;).

7:47 PM  
Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

Wow, Bezzie, the comments are stacking up!

I didn't even officially enter the contest, seeing as I never actually emailed you--just posted a comment :)--and whatevers, it was just cool to be in the um scraped crowd, as it were.

Don't let the contest poopers get you down. That's what ye olde delete button is for. What will they do, start an "I hate Bezzie" blog?

The rules are super simple, and they are yours to change. That is a perk of being the dictator of your blog.

8:31 PM  
Blogger Magatha said...

Let no good deed go unpunished.

Continue and don't concern yourself with yarn grubbing emails or percentages and equations scratched out on napkins with french fry stains. The rules are as you set them. You are Queen of K.A.Y.E. and if a person wishes to enter the game, they play by the set rules. NO arguing or cajoling. The end.

10:30 PM  
Blogger coastergirl said...

you are the queen of KAYE and don't let one or two naysayers drag you down. The total benefit is that you are keeping this IMPORTANT issue at the forefront of our minds. It is sad that so many of us take care of the others in our lives and forget to do the important thins for ourselves.

To any and all of the naysayers - POOH! Shame on you!

This is Bezzie's contest and if you don't like the rules... don't play! I have scheduled mine for March and will be happy to be included that month and at the eoy if Bezzie so deems it.

The important thing is we put taking care of ourselves in the forefront.

Heck - I think I may craft up something for the eoy event.

Bezzie - ignore the whiners. Tell them to put on their big girl panties and get over it.

11:50 PM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

Well, if you get a chance at the pot for only the month you have it done, BUT your name gets saved for the year-end Grand Prize (Have a regular monthly prize for December in addition to the total year Grand Prize). That way it's equally fair for everyone no matter what month you have it done, which I believe is what you're concerned about.

Don't be discouraged, Bezzie! You're doin the good work, here. :)

9:33 AM  
Blogger ZantiMissKnit said...

Thank you for reminding us to get our cooters rootered! I keep pretty up-to-date on that stuff anyway, but I appreciate someone spreading the word. As far as the prizes go -- well, it's yarn, and all really nice yarn, but the bigger prize to me was being part of the K.A.Y.E. community -- cheesy, I know, but I appreciate frank cooter talk once in a while. People who are complaining about the fairness are just missing the point.

3:22 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Good plan. If you need a big prize at the end of the year I'm sure there will be some crazy yarn I can't resist again on sale!!

4:02 PM  
Blogger Starfish said...

I'm glad you decided to keep the contest - even if it is only 161 people - that's incredible!! I need a rootin' and I keep reminding myself there's yarn in it (maybe) if I do it, so the incentive works!

9:42 PM  

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