Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I did have a post...

...composed in my head earlier today.

But then on my way home today, I ran over someone's cat.

He/she came out of nowhere and before I had time to react...oh god, the sound and the feeling of your car doing that...oh god!

It took me a minute to process what the fuck I had done and by that time I was too far off. Even if I had stopped--it was a busy street--what could I have done?

Sigh.

But I think I'm just saying that to make myself feel better.

The thought actually crossed my mind "I hope it was a stray." Like that makes it any better really.

When a human gets run over do people think "I hope they were homeless!"? Ugh. No.

I just keep thinking about what that cat might have meant to someone.

Was there a little kid like Chunky that loved that cat?

Did that cat comfort someone going through a hard time like I know Squeaky and Springs have been doing for us right now?

The most ironic part?

When I pulled into Chunky's school today, I noticed and pointed out an earthworm that was inches in front of my front tire. How he got there, I don't know (the parking lot is asphalt--maybe a bird dropped him).

Chunky bent down and confirmed that the worm was still alive. He made me promise not to run it over.

And you know what? I actually threw my car in reverse and backed up a couple of inches so I could go around the worm when I pulled out after dropping Chunky off for the day.

Hours later, I'd be running over someone's beloved pet.

God.

Hug your kitties, puppies, snake, and spiders tight tonight for me. Tomorrow I promise happier topics.

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26 Comments:

Blogger T. Budnik said...

Bah! It's so sad. But, I firmly believe that you are paying hommage to the life of the cat by feeling these emotions. And paying hommage is all you can really do.

On my many travels, every time I saw roadkill, I'd say a little, "Oh! Poor thing!" just because I figured someone should recognize the life that had been lost.

-T.

8:00 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh Bezzie! I'm sorry you went through this today.

It says alot about you that it bothers you so much. You've got a good heart.

RIP kitty.

8:24 PM  
Blogger janna said...

Ohhhh...... I'm so sorry....

8:38 PM  
Blogger cpurl17 said...

Oh no.

8:41 PM  
Blogger Disco said...

Ack! I had a cat run over once - her name was Pixie-Queen. She'll be frolicking round in catnip-heaven with your newly departed friend tonight having a rare old time.

Her brother was called Charlie Cat. He waited by the window for her for weeks. He's still going strong 16 years later (with the exbf!).

Don't worry, these things can't be helped.

8:51 PM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

Oh man. That's tough. That's one of my fears. I hope to never experience that. But also, that's why my cats are indoors only.

9:35 PM  
Blogger Starfish said...

Oh no! I did that once - and made the mistake of looking in my rear view mirror - I'll never forget that image. I actually cried on the way home I felt so bad.

It wasn't intentional - who knows, maybe the kitty had a bad owner and you were the nice one to send them to kitty heaven?

On a related note, today I witnessed a bicyclist smash into the car door of towncar when he opened it unexpectedly. Poor guy went flying. He didn't want 911 called but his knee was pretty banged up. Ouch.

9:42 PM  
Blogger IrishgirlieKnits said...

Aw Bezzie. So sorry! Hugs to you and give one to that little cutie you have...what a big heart he has (mommy promise not to run over the worm)!

Tomorrow will be a better day Bezzie!

10:11 PM  
Anonymous birdie said...

Aww, that is sad. But there's nothing you could have done. I'm sure the katze understands. I'm sure Fatzah will take care of him/her in kitty heaven.

10:48 PM  
Blogger Rebel said...

Oh honey, it is sad, but... and I'm saying this as the biggest crazy-cat lady ever...it was just a cat. You didn't hit someone's child. It was just a cat....the reason you hoped it was a stray was because you wouldn't want to cause a person pain. I think that's totally understandable.

When I was five my cat was hit by a car & I watched her die. It was very sad. But seriously, we got another cat two months later and I was fine. Cry it out, but don't beat yourself up about it.

((((hugs))))

10:49 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

I can't add anything new to what everyone else has said, but try try try not to be so hard on yourself. You would never have done it deliberately. It was that cat's time to go.

6:03 AM  
Blogger The Curly Knitter said...

I'm so sorry Bezzie. I can't imagine how awful that feels.

6:08 AM  
Blogger Macoco said...

Bezzie, that really sucks! What an awful feeling. That's the life of an outside cat I guess, it's sad but true. Growing up on the farm we lost a few cats to cars.
On the other hand, as much as you don't want to hit something sometimes it's good to remember your place in the food chain. Years ago I slammed on my brakes to avoid a cat that ran in front of me. The car fishtailed like crazy and I nearly got into a bad accident. Avoiding a cat/dog would not have been worth me or another person getting hurt.
UGH - it still sucks though! :(

6:50 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

Jeeze girl, it's just one thing after the other. Look, if the cat was really really loved, it wouldn't have been anywhere near traffic in the first place. Some one out there was irresponsible, and it wasn't you.

7:22 AM  
Blogger buttercup said...

Oh - poor kitty. Poor Bezzie. I agree with -T. You are honoring the life of the kitty by mourning it's loss.

Today will be a better day.

7:23 AM  
Blogger Olga said...

I know how bad you feel,I hate taking a life no matter how small. Its one of those freaky random things and its not your fault. Don't let this mess with your head.

8:02 AM  
Blogger Miss T said...

Sorry to hear that, but it obviously wasn't your fault!

8:10 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

Awww, I'm so sorry to hear that! Poor kitty! When I was a kid, one of our neighbors ran over my cat, backing out of his driveway. He came to the door in tears, and told my mother was happened. I was sad, but understood it was an accident. Unfortunately, when pets are let out, that's the risk that the owner takes.

One of my husband's coworkers recently lost his son and granddaughter, when the son was driving on the highway, swerved to avoid a deer (who knows how a deer got on the highway), went over the median, and got hit head on by a truck. The little girl was killed instantly, and the son died in the hospital a day or two later. I can't imagine what the wife of the man who was killed is going through now. How horrible to lose her whole family like that. Like Macoco said, better to hit an animal than to risk hurting or killing yourself trying to swerve or stop.

9:45 AM  
Blogger Magatha said...

Mr. Mag did this 15 years ago in Fullerton, CA. It was a pretty little orange tabby tiger cat, and the little girl who owned it was right there. We spent some time comforting her (she didn't even cry, she just stood there staring at it,) and finding her parents to come out and help her with her cat. We drove away with her holding the dead cat in her arms.
As you can see, I've forgotten the whole thing and it doesn't bother me a bit. Nope.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with T, and everyone else. You are not at fault!!! You are feeling bad cause you know how you would feel if someone had hit one of your cats. But then you would not let your cats raom around the neighborhood. Life hurts sometimes...and the way a living thing crosses is part of the big picture. Hang in there better things are to come. Love, Mom

10:26 AM  
Blogger Dkswife said...

Oh that sucks!

11:00 AM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

I know how you feel. My cat ran under my car in my driveway. She always ran to meet me and this time she got too close. I took her to the vet and held her while they put her down. I will never forget the sound or the feeling of the tires. It makes my heart race thinking about it and it's been 5 years. The cat shouldn't have been on the street. It's sad but the reality is you would have caused more damage by slamming on the brakes.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Dkswife said...

Oh Mag! You are a woot!

3:23 PM  
Blogger Ina said...

Lousy luck, for you and the cat.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

And that is the reason why I am a responsible pet owner and don't let my cats outside. I would be heartbroken if someone rant hem over AND I would feel bad for the preson who did it. Because no one I know would do that on purpose. Hugs.

6:12 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Ah Bezzie this sucks. That would be very tough. Sorry that happened.

12:05 AM  

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