Friday, February 08, 2008

This One is For My Opposite Coast Name Twin

She'll know who she is. But she brought the current Harlot drama to light for me.

And you know me, how can I leave that alone?

Short story: Harlot knits some socks. She blogs about the socks. Two people say they think the socks are kinda ugly or "fugly." Torches and pitchforks are drawn by readers and the Harlot.

She asks in her follow up post to the "fugly sock" post: What do people hope they will happen by posting a comment like that? (i.e. dissenting with the herd).

Here's what bothers me.

The fact that more people DON'T speak their minds.

Two people said that her socks were kind of ugly. They didn't say that she was a shitty knitter and deserved to rot in hell. (Interestingly only ONE person was jumped on by the commenters--the person with the male name--not the person with the female name...but that's a whole 'nother kettle of goldfish crackers).

What did they expect to become of commenting like that?

Honestly? Probably nothing.

What did the people who wrote: "Your socks are great!" expect to become of commenting like that? Probably nothing.

When will we learn to embrace the dissenters? Ok, ok, I'll admit, sometimes those people have nothing good to say or they say what we're all thinking but are too polite to say it--but here's the deal:

THAT'S HUMANITY.

Alright, I'm probably missing the big picture.

But my point is that no one is cut from the same cloth and when you open your "house" up to a bajillion people like the Harlot does, don't expect everyone to behave at the party. Someone's going to slip and say your couch is ugly before they make it to the car home.

I feel really bad for her making it to nearly 40 years old and never having anyone "diss" her stuff to her face.

I wore some really bright and obnoxious socks to work yesterday and guess what--there was a person that told me she really didn't like them.

It didn't hurt my feelings because I like these obnoxious colored socks. However, now I'm thinking I should have given that girl a hug for speaking her mind. It means I'm not living in a bubble where everyone minds their p's and q's 100% of the time.

Now I'm not advocating that we all go out and start calling shit like we see it (Whale biologist!) regardless of anyone's feelings, but what do we hope to accomplish chastisizing the few that do once in a while speak their minds.

And if you've made it this far--I give you a sneak peek at some ugly knitting of my own--feel free to tell me it looks beautiful and disagree. I'm done with my pitchfork today.

100_5366

The best part about anyone reading this? I KNOW if you think I'm wrong, you're going to tell me.

Labels:

71 Comments:

Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

Nah, I quite agree with you. But I will say that the Harlot does have a point. It can be kind of shocking to hear a negative opinion of your crafting expressed on your own blog. But hey, I'm with you. If someone doesn't like the color combination on my latest fair aisle project, I'd wanna know!

The thing about the Harlot's blog is that it's gotten so big, and so many people comment, it's inevitable to have a few people with dissenting opinions. Perhaps if she would put a more personal face on it by responding regularly to a good number of the comments rather than just a handful, it might happen less. But the less personal you become, the less personal people feel they need to treat the website.

6:42 AM  
Blogger Trillian42 said...

I'm sort of torn on this one, truly. I mean on one hand, I do generally subscribe to the "If you can't find something nice to say, don't say anything" school of thought, but I think Cristi has a point that the Harlot's blog has become less personal and more like a newspaper column or something. And really, would anyone get up in arms at a letter to the editor that disagreed with something in a newspaper. (OK, probably yes, but you get my point)

I'd probably be more bothered by it if it was on Cristi's blog, or yours, or P_K's or someone who isn't famous with a publishing contract. Personally, I don't expect everyone who reads my blog to love everything I've knit. I don't love everything I see on other people's either - tastes differ. But to my mind, there is still a difference between saying "Not my style" and "Ewwww - fugly".

And I'm curious to see what you are working on there. It could go either way with that color combo, in my mind. :)

6:56 AM  
Blogger Macoco said...

I haven't read the post or comments your referring to. But there's a way to be tactful in saying hey "not for me." And really, there's nothing wrong with saying that as long as you're not saying it just to be mean.

But there is a sense (as shown with the Harlot) that if you disagree then you get ganged up on and that's just not cool. We don't have to love each other 100% of the time.

I see the same thing happening on message boards. Someone will have a complaint and readers will beg them to "name names." Okay Joe McCarthy!

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Emilee said...

The "mutual admiration society" aspect of the knitblog world is sort of amusing. People will post "Do you like it?" and only expect to hear "Yes, yes, a million times yes!" Which really isn't productive. There have been many times that I've seen something and thought "darling, you're knitting through the back loop, I don't know if you mean to or not." I usually don't say anything though, because I don't think they'd take it well most of the time.

Dissent is very valuable if the dissenting opinion will change the situation at all, or even cause people to think about it in a different way. But with knitting, why bother leaving critical comments? Obviously Harlot likes her socks, that's why she's making them. I might think your couch is ugly (or that marled magenta and blue blanket ;) ) but I'd never say so. Why bother? Obviously you like it fine, and it's no skin off my rear what you have in your house or what you decide to knit. If someone said "I'm thinking of making X" and I really don't think it would suit their figure I might say so and suggest Y instead. But I'd never make a comment just to be a party pooper, just for the sake of dissenting.

7:23 AM  
Blogger buttercup said...

I'm with Pam and Cristi. There is a nice way to say your baby is ugly. But can the Harlot really expect not to get negative comments once in while? No. She's being unrealistic. If only 2 people out of the hundreds that comment were tactless - that's pretty good odds.

I don't comment on her blog (I did once, to join the knitting olympics 2 years ago). I'd rather save my comments for people I know and who know me.

Still those socks are interesting and she sure put a lot of work into them. I'd like to see the finished product, but I'd never knit or wear them.

Oh a lighter note - I KNOW that yarn. I think I fondled that yarn with you. It isn't fugly till we know what you're making. Then we'll laugh and point. ;-)

7:30 AM  
Blogger Cindy in Happy Valley said...

I think there is also the aspect where she waxed practically poetic about knitting 36 little leaves!! I was getting a headache just looking at those little leaves. (And I'm a beader too, so I do understand the attraction of tedium.) Clearly, she thought the socks, the process, etc. was the cat's pajamas. I, myself, couldn't imagine putting that kind of time into a garment, that clearly can't be worn, however, I can if it is a art piece. And I'm not sure that there is truly anything wrong with saying "lordy, dem's some damn ugly socks". If one can be "hurt" by a comment of an anonymous poster ... humm... maybe one needs to expand their horizons.

One last item. Voice is everything, and criticism ALWAYS sounds harsher in print.

7:46 AM  
Blogger steph_knits said...

I like the Harlot's conversational style, but I typically don't read her comments. The general worshipping that goes on tends to make me nautious. I went back and read through yesterday's comments just to see what all the hubub was about, and maybe I'm overly optimistic but no one just flat out called them ugly (well, sort of).

It was like the brutally honest (if you can call ugly being brutally honest) version of I really think you're awesome, but those aren't my style. Like you would tell your best friend. Like I would expect my knitties to say if they saw me wearing something atroticious (seriously, please save me from myself if you ever see this happening...)

I think the disconnect comes from her readers see them as her best friend because she shares so much on her blog, but she doesn't share that same feeling because she can't possibly know every commenter.

Dissenters are good for the soul. I know I don't want to be around people who agree with my every word to my face because more often than not they're disagreeing behind my back.

8:10 AM  
Blogger Dkswife said...

I had a cat I named fugly, cuz guess what, he was fugly! :) I loved him just the same though.

If people don't agree or like what I say, do, or create, I could care less. I haven't been bought or paid for by a damn soul. It is those who sell out that have to live with worry wondering what others think.

Have a good weekend!

Kay

8:16 AM  
Blogger sgeddes said...

The problem is you aren't wrong all that often so I cannot disagree.

I do agree with comments here that you can be nice and disagree - I don't read the Harlot's comments so I don't know if poeple wer ncie about it or not. But there is nothing wrong with dissent.

I cannot put projects on my blog and expect everyone to like them. Sometimes I do wish that I'd get a little more criticism in a constructive way though. Maybe I'd develop better skills.

But I will admit, I do like the pats on the back too. Cause in away I see my blog kind of like children's fridge art. You put up the latest creation and the "family" will say nice things.

That new project reminded me of a particular Noro colorway....

8:33 AM  
Blogger ZantiMissKnit said...

All that "nicety nice nice" shit is getting old, but I'm seeing it as a backlash to the over-snarking of everything. I tend to subscribe to the "don't say anything at all" school of thought. That being said, I love constructive criticism, and constructive criticism helped me realized I was twisting my stitches.

I don't read the Harlot's comments either. They don't make my head hurt as much as the stuffonmycat or cuteoverload comments ("First!"), but it tends to be all that nicety nice nice nice shit, and fawning.

8:37 AM  
Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

Hello, my name is Mary, and I'm a regular Harlot Reader. At 300+ comments a day though? I don't even bother clicking to that section anymore...

That whole dealie though did come as a shock. 300+ comments DAILY and this is the first time she gets a couple dissenters? Wow.

Reading Digg, Reddit, BoingBoing and many other non-knitting style blogs, this happens ALL THE TIME, one would think professionally with the propensity of the negative/rude comments. There is a name for such folks: Trolls. They purposefully go to your site and diss you. They get some special thrill from it.

Having 2 regular comment-ers (from what I gathered) say something contrary to the group? It's high school peer pressure at work! It's soap opera drama! It's...well, it's as you said, human nature.

My mami taught me that not everyone is going to like me (mostly cuz I am tactless), and it is a good thing I was taught that early, cuz yeah, like water off a duck's back 90% of the time...

8:41 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Aww shit, now I have to click on over to Harlot and read the fuss. And I really have no interest in her blog in general. But I love a good internet flame war!

8:43 AM  
Blogger The Curly Knitter said...

That's what I love about you and your blog. Complete honesty. I sit on both sides of the fence on the whole topic sometimes though. On the one hand, it annoys me when no one has a well thought out opinion and just yes's something to death with positivity but on the other hand, I do sometimes think if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. But then that would be even more boring I guess. I just dislike the "drama" part of it all when someone expresses a different opinion. As long as someone isn't trying to be "nasty" and has a well thought out difference of opinion or constructive criticism then I appreciate it.

9:02 AM  
Blogger janna said...

I gotta say -- I don't understand why anyone would insult someone else's work. It's just rude. It's not like, in this case, the Harlot's making THEM wear the socks. If she were, it would be different, but even then -- there are ways of responding without being flat-out rude. ("gosh, I'm not sure socks with 3-D leaves are really for me.") Maybe some people think that's being dishonest, but the world would be an even unhappier place if we all went around saying all the negative things we think.

And, btw -- what is that you're making???

9:27 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

I don't know you, you don't know me, but still, you crack my shit up.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Amby said...

Ok, I have to disagree with her analogy about a blog being a "virtual living room." Your living room is private, in your home, by personal invite only, not open to the public. Her blog IS public, published on the internet, and open for comments. Big difference. If she's trying to say that her virtual living room is open to everyone...well, then it's open to people with dissenting opinions, some of whom are lacking in the tact department.

If someone is invited into my private home and tells me my couch is ugly, they will most likely be tossed out of my home pretty quick. Because if they're lacking in decent manners and respect for the hospitality shown them, I don't want them around. If I'm out at the mall, though, and someone tells me my shirt is ugly...well, I might get pissed but there isn't a whole lot I can do (other than tell them it's none of their business and to f**k off).

None of the comments I saw were outright vicious, although using "fugly" might not have been the most constructive word to use.

For Stephanie and the commenters to have jumped on those people, and then to bring it up AGAIN in the next post was making a mountain out of a molehill. It would have been much more classy to ignore them and move on, IMHO. If you're going to post a blog for the world to see and comment on, you're going to have to grow a thicker skin. If you don't want to do that, then you'd better password-protect your blog and moderate the comments.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I agree with Pam - the Harlot's blog, while personal to her (and hence, I understand why she was a bit taken aback), is so widely known that it's viewed more like a column. I can see why a dissenter, in that case, would feel OK commenting.

But...I don't know...I'm a "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything" person. With my friends, if I don't like something, I'll be direct about it - but just because you regularly read someone's blog, that doesn't make you a friend.

I would hope my friends would tell me if something I was knitting was fugly!! And if someone I don't know doesn't like something, that's fine - but they can be objective and say why they don't like it, and not just bash it just to do so. Constructive criticism. :P

I love the colorway of the yarn on your project, by the way - but I'd need to see the finished project to have more of an opinion than that. Fugly is in the combo of yarn and pattern, for me. ;)

9:42 AM  
Blogger Olga said...

Yeah, what they said!!!!Though I did laugh out loud at Elizabeths flame war comment! I guess a piece of me like that too, breaks up the monotony.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Beverly said...

This is a hard one for me. One of the things that I love about the KnitterNet community is that we are a supportive group full of a lot of positive reinforcement for each other. It's not that I need that positive reinforcement, but it sure is nice when you've worked so hard on something to have at least one person have something nice to say about it.

However, if I cruise by a blog and see something fugly, I keep my comments to myself. I don't usually say something nice just to be saying something.

If the blog owner has asked for constructive criticism, then I will give it. I would never just bluntly diss someone's work - I respect the artistic process too much to dismiss it with a nasty comment.

When I read the Harlot's post yesterday, my first thought was, "here we go again." Her blog following is huge; she can't expect that everyone will agree with her all the time. And her question about what does the negative commenter hope will be gained? Well, what do the positive commenters hope to gain? We don't comment because we want something to happen - we're just having a virtual conversation.

9:57 AM  
Blogger Poops said...

Like elizabeth, I too have to go over and see what the fuss is about because I enjoy a good flame war and I'm not too proud to admit it.

10:04 AM  
Blogger weezalana said...

I don't read her blog so I'm happily oblivious (as usual). But my take is this - if I ask for opinions on something I'm working on or I think something I made is fugly, that's one thing. But if I made something I thought was the greatest thing since toilet paper, and someone told me flat out they thought it was shit on a stick, of course I'd be hurt. There are plenty of things that don't suit my style or taste, but I can appreciate the time and effort that went into creating it. And if not, I don't say anything at all. I see no reason to be outright hurtful and mean. There's enough of that in the world.

If someone did post a comment like that, though, I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of making a big fat deal out of it. I'd just hire my cousin Vito to hunt them down and break their kneecaps. Er, I mean, I'd ignore it like the classy gal I am.

10:25 AM  
Blogger knottygnome said...

ooh i missed the drama. dammit now you are gonna make me go read the harlot's blog, which i typically avoid b/c i think it's boring. there, i said it.

without knowing the specifics yet, i will simply say that if someone had said my kid or hell, even my cat was ugly, sure i'd be offended and call them out on it. but a sock? just roll your eyes and move on.

i do love a good pitchfork drama.

10:25 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I particularly like that pea green color in your yarn, it speaks to me in loverly ways... Is that what you want?

I usually don't outright say something is fugly unless the knitter is laughing at their own choice of knitting. But I wish more people did speak their minds, especially when presenting something that is kind of peculiar. I mean it's not okay to say you don't like something anymore?

Well, to each his own, there are probably plenty of people who dislike things I do, it sure would be a boring place if everyone was just like me.

10:26 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

Nah, not wrong, just different. Frankly, I like the socks and I would wear them, I dress to a different band. Knit them? I'm not there yet.
I'm intrigued by the colors I see there~what is it?

10:28 AM  
Blogger Poops said...

Nevermind. I can't wade through all those comments. Can we start a flame war here instead?

I think the socks are cool. Don't know as I'd wear them, but they're really cool.

I prefer to dissent where it matters, or makes a difference in some way. Saying I don't like something someone else knit serves no real purpose, and it's just rude. If I see something I don't like, I don't comment.

Sometimes I don't comment on stuff I do like just because I'm lazy.

I was taught that it's rude to say everything that comes to your mind, and knowing when to self-censor is an important social skill.

Saying "I don't like your socks" is like saying "You're ugly." You're entitled to your opinion, but there are times it isn't a bad thing to keep it to yourself.

(You're not ugly, Bezzie. You're cute as a button.)

10:30 AM  
Blogger Magatha said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:35 AM  
Blogger knottygnome said...

ok, now that i've seen the sock, i think it is ugly. i will refrain from peeing on her living room carpet though.

here's my take (though i must admit i skipped the comments cuz i didn't think i could stomach all the love): i think that perhaps the "ugly" comments might've expressed their views to combat the inevitable pages and pages of worship on how those socks are a thing of perfection and how no one else could make such beauties. my guess is it's a case of someone blinking and wondering, "am i the only one actually *looking* at these socks? why is everyone else fawning?"

10:38 AM  
Blogger Kaye said...

I think the best part of those "awful" comments is this:

They still manage to kiss up to her. They don't say merely "I think that sock is ugly." No, no, they say "I really like your blog, and worship the ground you walk on, but am I the only one that thinks that sock is ugly?"

To me that implies that they weren't saying it to be mean or hurtful or start something. They just lack tact is all.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Alright, I went to check out the fuss, and honestly I don't get it, to preface something with "with all do respect dude those are ugly" or "don't hate me but I hate those" or whatever was along those lines... well, I think that's saying something you would say to a good friend in their living room.

Maybe I need friends who can suck my ass better or something.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I wonder what the Harlot will have to say about all the hundreds of commenters who have called the "fugly" guy an asshole. Maybe she won't care, since it's not about her.
I once got a kind of negative comment about something I had knit. It pissed me off. I deleted it. It's my blog. But I would certainly never feel the need to publicly chastize the person, and even less so if I were as big as the Harlot.
And, there's also a difference between throwing a party and asking hundreds of people to look at your couch, then encouraging comments.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I did it for you poops and wasn't personally offended. Nothing worded in such way that I wouldn't tell someone.

So I need an update in my manners I guess.

Yeah, I was that nosy, I was looking for a really juicy scathing comment. Darn.

I've never left so many comments on one post before, this is fun :)

10:58 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

I keep thinking about the Emperor's New Clothes. Sometimes, you need to hear that maybe what you are knitting/wearing/whatever isn't the most beautiful thing ever. The comments might have been overstated, but so are the compliments.

I have had people tell me that they don't like lots of things about me, the house and/or the way the boys are dressed. So what? If I like things the way they are, good. I don't really care what other people think.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Magatha said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:16 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

It's been a while since there's been an uproar over comments in blogland. I have people tell me stuff I make is fugly all the time (especially socks and hats) and I take it as a compliment. Fugly is the new pretty. Although I would get upset if someone left me a comment saying a sweater I knit is crappy and sucks.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Brena said...

I love internet drama so I had to go check it out. I have a problem.

I don't think that I personally would've commented that the socks are ugly, just because I think that everyone has their own style and I wouldn't find it necessary to say so. But I don't have a problem with anyone else saying it. If you want to blog on the internet, realize that you are openning your life up to people and it's possible you'll get some critism.

If someone had commented on my favorite knit, my clapotis and said "This is fugly..." I honestly wouldn't have cared. Because I love it.

All this being said, I think that those socks ARE ugly.

Sweet jesus, did you see that she had 806 comments on her reply post? 806!!!!!WTF???

11:35 AM  
OpenID MarieGrace said...

Bezzie...I was giggling as I read your post... snorted when I got to Elizabeth's comment... and now I'm gonna go knit something.

People take things entirely too seriously. Some people are rude, some people are delusional.

I don't normally even comment on this stuff but really... it takes way more energy to get all wound up about it than it does to just say "screw it" and move on. I like the Harlot but geez... somebody didn't like a sock. So what.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

I would be surprised if the Harlot even reads all her comments. I mean 300+ comments a post is a lot of reading.... I wonder had other commenters not gotten so upset about the disenters if she would have even noticed? Or cared?

I find it slightly amusing that she claims not to care, and yet, she writes pages on "why would someone be mean?"

I don't care for the socks personally, but I am oddly attracted to the little leaves. I just love leaves.

What your knitting could really go either way. At first glance I think all the colors are fugly together... but then I've thought that before and then enjoyed them ina finished object. Weird.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Rebel said...

Why you hatin' on the Harlot??? What's she ever done to you?!?!?

(had to get my dissention out there. ;) )

Yeah, when I first saw those socks I honestly thought it was a joke. The leaves are beautiful, but the whole sock together is my definition of fugly. But I wasn't going to say anything because you know - who cares ... if she likes them she can knit them no biggie.

I just found it highly amusing that there were 300+ comments on how fabulous the socks were, how amazing etc. etc. And yet she picks out the one or two people who said "Is it just me or does anyone else think these socks are fugly" and made a huge deal out of the 'poor manners' etc. Puh-lese!

Seriously, if you invited 301 people into your 'living room' would you really ignore the 300 people who were gushing over you to complain about the *one* person in the corner who thinks your socks are ugly? What kind of manners are those?

That said, I do like the Harlot, she cracks me up more often than not, but IMHO she's not very good at handling criticism.

I heart you bezzie because I know you speak the truth even if it's not pretty, even if it ruffles feathers, and I think that's very honorable.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Rebel said...

Oh and I just want to say how much I *love* everyone who posted here. A few different opinions expressed and yet no pitchforks. And I love all of you who are not too proud to admit you love the drama. My life is really boring - I like a little mountain-out-of-molehill cyber drama too. =)

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have not read the blog or the commenets but it sounds to me that the person was stating their opinion on the Harlots socks. Some times you can have some of the people like what you make but you cannot have all the people like what you make all the time. What is really important here is does this comment make make you a better person? Does it make you a worse person? The only thing that can make you better or worse is YOU!
Now on the comments...there are lots of places that can tear your piece of art/knitting/sewing apart and that is what they are there for, ie: juried shows, state and local fairs, blogs. If you can not take your work being looked at from the inside out and being commented on as to how awful it truly is...well don't enter the item. Yours truly here cannot take such comments and so does not enter her items into such things. But knowing this does not stop me from doing and making my family and freinds things. A gift given is a gift given...I don't care if they like it or not they can use it anyway they like.
Lots to think about here...Love, Mom

12:47 PM  
Blogger Ed said...

YEAH!!!

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Knit Mongrel said...

Dude. I love you. I'm so sick of tiptoeing around everyone's delicate sensibilities... the woman has the MOST READ KNITTING BLOG EVER and two people call her socks fugly and suddenly her panties are in a twist and hundreds of knitters descend upon the poor man to the point where he had to leave an APOLOGY COMMENT. Yes, really. So stupid. For crying out loud, people, they're SOCKS. I mean, thank goodness we don't have anything else going on in the world. Have to make sure the YARN HARLOT doesn't think anyone dislikes her.

I'm going to go have a drink. Just thanks for posting this. I think I'm going to move far far away where they're aren't any people to offend. Geez.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

I read the Harlot's blog just to see what she's knitting. It's interesting but sometimes I really don't like it. I figure we're all entitled to our opinion but I recognize that not everyone wants to hear mine. Those were some ugly socks. But so what? I don't comment on her blog because after the first 100 or so, I figure she can't possibly read them all. When I read today, there were over 800 comments. 800! That's just crazy. I don't really care a whole lot if folks don't like what I'm knitting. I care that the person who's going to be wearing it likes it. That's all. And if I ask if you like it, tell me truly what you think. I can take it. I'm an adult.

1:11 PM  
Blogger Linnea said...

Well. The socks? I don't like them. But I got the impression from Ms. Yarn Harlot that she was knitting them more for the challenge than for the aesthetics. Didn't she say that she wasn't planning on wearing them? Or that they weren't something she would regularly wear? Or something along those lines?

Look, I could knit miles of fugly *something* because it was challenging and entertaining. Granted, I like knitting things that I know will be loved and used, but that's beside the point if we're talking strictly about crazy, mind-boggling projects that you knit just for the sake of stretching your brain meats.

Point being, I thought that she was knitting the socks because they were different, not because they are a oh-so-super-sweet-awesome-must-wear-with-latest-fashions-from-Vogue kind of deal. And while I would hope that people would understand the "hey, I'm knitting something weird and difficult and out-of-the-ordinary" aspect of the socks in question, I also think that if you're working on something along those lines, you should expext that someone will come along, and, judging on a purely visually-pleasing basis, will tell you that they'd never knit or wear such a thing if their lives depended on it.

It goes beyond the polite visitor making comments on your couch deal. Hell, if I had guests over and... (okay, I'm censoring myself. Insert comments about masterpiece cat barfs still being, well, barf.)

1:35 PM  
Blogger buttercup said...

As the day has gone on and as I've read your comments I find it kind of ironic that most of us are contributing to the fugliest piece of knitting ever!

The thought of the fug has had me giggling all day.

Would we be offended if someone actually LIKED it? heh!

1:37 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

I happen to like the colours in your picture. Not sure what the item is so can't tell you if it's fugly or not. As for commenters, so they didn't like the socks. Why is that even worth blogging about? Seems like a tempest in a teacup. The commenters wanted to put their 2 cents worth in. Fine. they don't like 'em. Also fine. So long as it isn't a personal attak-type comment. Whatever. The fact that the Harlot felt it was bloggable tells me she is definietly one of those people who feels the world is a wonderful place and who couldn't be happy here etc etc. I think the fact that she blogged a whole post about it says more about her than the commenters.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

I don't know who the Harlot is but tell her to take the stick out of her ass.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Olga said...

WOW, I have NEVER had so much fun reading comments before! THANK YOU! man, I feel like I ought to pay you for all that fun,
I need to smoke a cig now.
and I don't even smoke.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous marymac said...

My favorite part about the Harlot drama is that up until yesterday all the comments about the socks were "OMG, those are the most beeeyoutiful things evah!" and then some people called them fugly and today it was all "well, I'd never make them or wear them, but good for you for making them, anyway!"

Sometimes the dissenter is just giving everyone else permission to dissent "nicely". Because you can tell me something "just isn't your style" and I will know you think it's fugly.

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Jan B. said...

Well, I wore hand-knit socks to work the other day, and a co-worker said that he thought they looked "childish". This was an unsolicited comment, and I didn't like hearing it. If I didn't like something HE had made by hand, I would've kept my mouth shut. If I'd asked him his opinion (by blogging about it for instance) then I'd have to take what I got.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Magatha said...

Now she's saying it was "thoughtless" commenting and she never meant for her pack of wolves to descend and devour her dissenting commenters. "They're not bad people" after all.

WTH? Am I crazy, (OK but) isn't that the most condescending shit you've ever heard?

I sent Dan a love letter. I felt he needed some lovin'. Turns out he's a great guy with a quick wit, not an asshat in the least.

6:21 PM  
Blogger Starfish said...

I am certainly not a Harlot devotee, but I can sort of see what she's saying. What's the point of being insulting on someone else's blog? Just click off if you don't like her knitting, or don't read at all (like me). She seemed to go out of her way to say she didn't really care, just wondering what would motivate someone to do it. Which is pretty interesting I think. If some random stranger commented here with a "Bezzie you suck", you could bet your bippy we'd be all over their ass questioning why they did it. Just sayin'.

7:17 PM  
Blogger LadyLungDoc said...

I freely admit that I am anti-Yarn Harlot for several reasons, not the least of which is the slavish devotion of her fans. Heck - her blog is the reason why she sells so many books; she's cashing in on the adoration, so she should accept a bit of criticism from time to time. I'm willing to bet that if she posted a photo of whatever that is that you are knitting on her blog - it would immediately be in 100's of queues on Ravelry.

BTW - is that a kitty claw in the fabric? I like the magenta and the lime green, but don't really like the kelly green - reminds me of a sofa.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

After seeing the socks that are definatly not my cup of tea, I am left wondering how many people would have left a comment if she was doing a random draw through comments left to win the socks LOL

9:39 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Ok I have to admit, I didn't read all of YH's comments so I don't know what exactly was said and I haven't read all your comments so I'm probably repeating someone.

I'd rather have constructive criticism rather than a plain old "that's ugly!!!!!". I'd like to know if it was the colour, design, my knitting or just not to the person's taste. Running past saying "that's ugly!!" serves no purpose in my opinion.
But, what do I know? :-P

10:11 PM  
Anonymous Dan said...

Yes, folks, it's the infamous ass monkey who made the fugly comment on the mighty Harlot's boring-ass blog. It's nice to hear that I am not entirely alone in thinking those sock abominations were fucking ugly. Those socks are an abject lesson in design over kill...too many leaves, too many fiddly techniques, too much embroidery.
In a way, I sort of felt silly apologizing for my comment, but I didn't want my email inbox inundated with hate mail. The Harlot claimes she was not offended by the comment and then proceeded to devote TWO posts to it. One of the puritanical hens actually blamed my "rudeness" on my mother not being around when I was a child...utterly inane, really. My mother WAS around...she was cooking up meth in the basement.

12:24 AM  
Blogger Disco said...

Bezzie + Dan = hahahahhhahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahhahahhahahahahahahhhahahahahahhahahahahha

Yarn Harlot + leafy socks = er, no thank you (is that polite enough?)

7:03 AM  
Blogger Sherry W said...

I dislike all the Tzarina patterns. Way over the top. Then again, I think someone has the right to knit crazy ass shit. If 30+ leaves gets your OCD on, good for you!

I do think it's unnecessary to leave non-constructive criticism on anyone's blog. I'm fine if someone tells me my new sweater makes me look like a linebacker. I'm okay if someone things it's not for them. If someone just left a non-specific 'ugly'....what's the point?

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Dan said...

The comment was not without thought I assure you. I thought "Those are fugly socks..." The Harlot contacted me and asked me to elaborate. I thought "fair enough", so I did. I explained, as I said earlier, that I thought they were a textbook example of not knowing when to stop...TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING. I also found the general ass-licking tone of the commentors vile and wanted to stir the pot a bit. What erputed was entirely unexpected, yet utterly fascinating. The Harolt's blog is public domain and ANYONE can access it. I have actually been reading it on and off for years and have seen the quality of the writing go from snarky and funny to lame and boring. Since her stardom (and I use that term very loosely) she has ceased to be genuinely interesting and has become strangely insincere in her postings. Let's face it, her blog is paying the bills and selling books for her. It has long ceased being an expression of herself as a knitter and has instead become a clever marketing tool and ego booster. More power to her, but let's not fool ourselves.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Poops said...

Anyone else feel suddenly compelled to go to the Harlot's blog and ask "Why all the ass-kissing comments? Do you really think she's your BFF?"

I wonder what kind of poopoo that would stir up...

12:37 PM  
Blogger ZantiMissKnit said...

I like the socks.

(ducks!)

There, I said it. But I like the Tsarina's designs, even though they're wicked fucking hard and I haven't even made it halfway through one yet. If I'm gonna get all crazy excessive and embellished, you'd best believe I would do it with socks. It sure as shit beats bobbles on sweaters.

Does Dan have a blog? He's one funny-assed mofo.

I think it's fucking awesome that you're getting so many comments on this post. You're the anti-Harlot! Bezzie and PennyKarma are the only two blogs I read regularly; apologies to everyone else. I love you all. I usually don't have time for everyone's blogs though.

1:49 PM  
Anonymous etcgirl said...

"Hello. Do you like my hat?"
"No, I do not. Goodbye!"

Those phrases are used over and over again in my house. Usually in some randomly humerous way, but occasionally in a literal "Gak! What do you think you're doing leaving the house dressed like that?" way. (And they're from "Go, Dog. Go!" by P.D. Eastman for anyone so unfortunate as to have not had great literature in their formative years!)

The exchange serves another point here, of course. It's ok to not like the same things as other people, even your friends. Heck, even your BFFs. And it can be stated matter-o-factly.

We've become a culture of syncophany, hence the terms "mass market", "seasonal styles", and even "popular music". We look askance and rogues and iconoclasts and we proclaim those who pronounce an unsupported sentiment to be tilting at windmills.

I often wonder when it became acceptable for "me too" posts/comments to be uttered. At one time, they were a useless and sometimes costly waste of bandwith and were met with snark and often hostility.

Now it appears that posts of the "Hey, Chestah! Hey, Chestah! You want I should get the ball?" are all that are permitted in some spaces.

For the record: "No. I do not like your hat. Goodbye."

10:47 PM  
Blogger Elspeth said...

I agree with most of the posters here. Sure, it's not nice to say something slightly un-nice to someone, but I liken it to an online version of the local paper that I read daily. I read the comments and they talk about the article, but they also talk about the pictures, how it's written, and everything else.

The YH has gone way beyond simple knit blogger (who generally wouldn't get any negative comments because most knit bloggers don't get that many comments at all) and is now more of a magazine writer. No one is going to agree with everyone (I'm sure there are more than 2 people that don't like the socks - I haven't seen them but I tend to be unimpressed by the Tsarina's busy patterns), and if you are putting yourself out there, you have to be ready for at least a little bit of criticism.

Not to mention that she has really changed from a person who you go to to see their knitting projects to someone you go to read her writing. Now if someone stopped by and said "Your grammatical structure sucks" that might be something for her to get upset about - but most likely, not. If you can't take any heat, don't invite millions into your kitchen.

10:32 AM  
Blogger BerkeleyBecca said...

Me, I'm just tired of the Harlot nagging us all about our manners.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Emilee said...

Poops, if you started a "why all the ass-kissing comments" flame war you would be MY HERO. That would be about the funniest thing ever.

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Dan said...

OH, please do it. I would laugh my ass off. Oh, the hens would just be layin' eggs left and right! I would, but why spoil the fun for someone else. CLUCK AWAY GALS!!
Just remember, there's always a polite and kitterly way to tell someone to "fuck off"...I usually use something like "I love what you are knitting, but it is just not to my taste. So, might I ever so kindly ask that you fuck off."
Ya, that works

11:30 PM  
Anonymous Dan said...

Oh, I meant to say "knitterly" not "kitterly"...although, I suppose there is a "kitterly" way to do it too. I suppose that would be more appropriate for that other snooze-fest blog wendyknits. Yes, she does knit, and she also takes pictures of that fucking cat...like I care. I am done.

11:34 PM  
Blogger GURO said...

The socks are a big accomplishment in knitting. They are also butt ugly. It's the colour that makes me want to gag, mostly. Would I wear them around the house if someone knit then for me? Hell yes, I'd even consider leaving the safety of my own living room with them on!
I'm glad someone spoke their mind to the Harlot. Life is not always 100% good, neither are comments. I'm surprised she did not know this... A big blog like the Harlots, and somewhat commercial too, people are definitely allowed to speak their mind freely. If it was a small and new (maybe insecure) blogger, I'd think it was rude. Interesting is a good word. Interesting choice of colours you've got there on your blog, miss Bezzie;)

3:15 AM  
Anonymous Mizzle said...

I feel you are being unfair to the Yarn Harlot.

I was glad to find out that I was not the only one who didn't see what makes those socks 'beautiful' ('amazing' (that all that fiddlyness fits onto a single sock and that people might wear them to the office - although that does not seem to be the intention anyway), yes, but that's something different altogether) and so I think there should be room for comments that are less than 100% worshipful. I was beginning to doubt my sanity...

Still, she never said those people were wrong to have said these things: she only said she didn't understand. Now I know that people often say that when they do understand but would rather not, or just want to make a big deal out of something, but I for one have felt this kind of 'why would anyone do that?!?' amazement.

She didn't draw torches or pitchforks: the other commenters did. Putting the spotlight on the dissenters may not have been very smart, but I really didn't feel like she was whining 'you said something nasty about me!' and that's what you're making it look like.

3:54 AM  
Blogger Magatha said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

If you put your stuff out there, you are inviting comment. If you don't want to hear the comments, whatever they are, then keep your stuff to yourself. Usually, the only time another's opinion will rattle your cage is when you are afraid they are right.
Thanks for having an opinion and the courage to share it.

8:41 AM  

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