Wednesday, April 30, 2008

90

Today marks Dr. Mad Scientist's 90th day of sobriety.

Chunky and I went to his Sunday AA meeting where they had their "celebrations" edition of the meeting (fourth Sunday of the month).

I remember when Dr. Mad Scientist (raised a Mormon--now strayed from that flock) went to his first Catholic wedding that tacked on a mass. He said the chanting and ritual of it all really through him for a loop.

Now I have to laugh at this after attending his AA meeting having been half raised a Catholic and now having strayed from that flock. It's full of chanting and ritual! He'd fit right in with the Catholics.

Well except for that whole communion wine. That might pose a problem.

I still hold on to my guarded optimism because I think this time we're both "getting" it.

He's "working his program" and although I'm not affiliating myself with any 12 step group, I'm understanding it better than last time when we went through this shit in Michigan.

I understand the me part of it more and have learned to let go of any expectations or demands I have of him.

It ain't easy, that's for damn sure. But hey, who does enjoy getting out of their comfort zone?

But I'm feeling better equipped for the shit that life throws our way. Hopefully the next 90 days will be smooth, but if they're not, we'll deal.

Sometimes I hate the freaking drama of it all. But then I wonder about how boring "normal" marriages must be (if such a thing even exists! Ha ha!)

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37 Comments:

Anonymous knitting-cat said...

Normal Marriages? Surely you jest!

All I know is marriage is a work in progress. I think in a perfect marriage someone is not getting their needs met.

i hope that both of you can keep up the good work!

8:34 PM  
Blogger Poops said...

Dude, there's no such thing as a "normal" marriage. We all have our crosses to bear, so to speak.

Congratulations to Dr. Mad Scientist on his 90 days!

8:40 PM  
Blogger Amby said...

I will bastardize Tolstoy and say that normal families are all alike, un-normal families are all un-normal in their own ways.

And I'd be willing to guess that we're all a LOT more un-normal than normal, just nobody really knows about it!

I'm glad things are looking up a bit, here's many hugs and hopes that it'll only get better!

9:01 PM  
Blogger T. Budnik said...

Congrats on day 90!

-T.

9:07 PM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

Woo Hoo! 90 days!

9:47 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Go Dr. M.S.
You hang in there, too, Bezzie.

Spinning is excellent for inducing serenity.

9:51 PM  
Blogger Trillian42 said...

I'm so glad it is going well - I'm thinking of you all, and sending all the good vibes I can.

10:01 PM  
Blogger Nancy said...

90 day is something good for sure!

Normal marriage? Remember whats considered normal. Normal is just the average of all the abnormality thats out there. Like with anything, there are ups and downs. The ups are hard won and the taste is sweet. The downs,,,, thats for when you get your wheel and bury yourself in your fiber,,, Just work with the fiber!

11:21 PM  
Blogger janna said...

Congratulation to Dr. MS, and to you, for working along with him!

11:25 PM  
OpenID emileeknits said...

Congrats to both of you, I wish you the best.

11:48 PM  
Blogger Dkswife said...

Normal marriages is like having normal immediate/extended families...it just doesn't exist.

4:27 AM  
Blogger The Curly Knitter said...

90 Days is a great achievement. Congratulations to you both. I can't even speak on marriage at the moment. It is not an easy thing even when there isn't a substance issue.

6:06 AM  
Blogger Red Dog Knits - Kristi and Otis said...

normal marriages are for those folks who say they are best friends as they walk hand in hand through our neighborhood and then later we watch them shouting at each other in the garage and throwing garden tools (ah the fun we had staying up late at night with two preemies and many windows in our house). Congrats on 90 days for both of you!

6:31 AM  
Blogger buttercup said...

I'm so proud of the Bezzie Family. Dr.MS deserves congrats and a big cyber hug. You do too for stitcking with the shrinkage and supporting him (and the family come to think of it).

And Chunky too. I'm sure you tried to keep this as normal as possible for him, but he's come through 90 days too. So he gets a hug too.

I'll hug you when I deliver the roving.

6:53 AM  
Blogger Disco said...

Congrats to the whole Bezzie family on their first 90 days of sobriety. And good luck for the next 90 and many more after ;0)

7:03 AM  
Blogger Cindy in Happy Valley said...

I think the very definition of "normal marriage" is that there is no definition of "normal". All marriages are "normal". Now ain't that scary? How does it feel to be "normal"?

7:41 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

There is no such thing as normal.

Congrats to ALL of you for making it thru 90 days!

8:37 AM  
Blogger Macoco said...

90 days? That is fantastic!

8:46 AM  
Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

Define normal? I know I didn't fit into that category "back in my day." And yet there were times when I would have given anything for normal and boring and plain. The grass is always greener, I suppose. Maybe some day I'll try a conventional marriage, just for kicks :).

Congrats to you both for getting to your 90 days. (raising my coffee mug) Here's hoping for another 90!

8:56 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

I agree with knitting-cat - some marriages that look great from the outside have more problems than anyone would ever imagine.

I give you a lot of credit for dealing with Dr. MS's problems has well as you have. I don't know that I could be as strong as you in that situation. Congrats on him reaching the 90 days!

LOL about the communion wine - I grew up Catholic (belong to a Protestant denomination now), and the priests always polish off whatever's left of the wine in the cup. With a couple of masses some days, I can imagine that add up to a lot of wine!

8:58 AM  
Blogger Shrinky Inky said...

Like all these wise women have said before me - there is no such thing as normal.

90 days is a good reason for optimism, however guarded and here's to the next 90 days! All 3 of you are great!

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the 90 days!!! Here's to the next 90!!!

I disagree with everyone on there not being any "Normal"...Normal is what makes you feel happy, content, calm, etc. It is not the same for everyone. You just have to find your normal and go for it.

I think that you are doing a great job of finding yours & DrMS and Chunkie's normal. Keep up the good work and remember to have some fun along the way. Love, Mom

10:21 AM  
Blogger Olga said...

wow, Time flew by, but I'm sure on your side of the 'net it was a slog. I dunno, if the chanting and repeating a phrase gets you through each day sober and a better person, I suppose it's worth it. What ever works.

10:40 AM  
Blogger weezalana said...

Very happy for the 90-day milestone! You've got a great attitude going there! And hey, normal is as normal does. That's what Mama used to say...

11:34 AM  
Blogger Josie said...

Hi, Bezzie --

I'm a relatively new reader, but I've been so impressed with how you're handling everything that's been thrown at you! I'm thinking about you and Dr. Mad Scientist and Chunky -- congratulations on your 90 day milestone!

11:57 AM  
Blogger sgeddes said...

I think most things only appear normal. If you dig in even just a little bit - you'll start to see the cracks.

Congratualtions on the ninety days. I admire your courage.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

a friend once sent me a fridge magnet...."the only normal people are the ones you don't know very well"

Trust me, so-called normal marriages have their bumps too.

Or corduroy road, as the case may be.

2:40 PM  
Blogger yarnkarma said...

Bezzie,

I've just started reading your blog, and hats off to you guys. In just a few more days you will be in triple digits. Whoo-hoo!

Normal Marriage? That was for Friday night on ABC - nowhere else.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Congrats to Dr. Mad Scientist on 90 days. That's a big milestone. Congrats to you too for keeping it all together too. Not easy, I'm sure.

I don't think there's any such thing as a normal marriage. I'm on my second marriage and have yet to figure out what normal is.

6:07 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Congrats on making it to 90! Boring? I don't think us humans are capable of doing most things the "easy" way ;-) We're all dysfunctional woohoo!

6:28 PM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

I've been married for 27 years and can say that what passes for normal in our family would scare the pants off some others. Shit happens and we pick ourselves up and move forward and hope that we are moving in a good direction.

7:23 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Congrats to all of you!

10:47 PM  
Blogger Nell said...

Congrats to your family! Well done.

And there is no such thing as a "normal" marriage. Just whatever works for that family. You're doing so well. Just keep trying each day.

11:32 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Whoever decided there was normal in marriage was not married.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Miss T said...

Ninety days is a great start. Good to hear.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

I agree that there is no such thing as "normal" marriages and anyone trying to pass theirs off as one is a lying sack of you know what!

I am glad things are going well for Dr. Mad Scientist.

I am glad your doing well too....we sometimes come away from challenges with such a different perspective and that can be a good thing, it can give us lots of strength.

1:08 PM  
Blogger Ina said...

Congratulations on Day 90 and many happy returns on the day! Onward to Day 180!!

7:20 AM  

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