Sunday, November 30, 2008

Last Day Of November

You know what that means!

It's the last day to get your name in for November's K.A.Y.E. drawing!

We've actually got a wicked cold November rain going on right now (mixed with a feeble attempt at snow!). Perfectly matched to this month's prize!


Friday, November 28, 2008

Put a Fork In Me!

Ahhhhhh...what a nice Thanksgiving!


That's our free turkey.

Shoprite had a deal--from sometime in October to Thanksgiving if you spent $300 in groceries, you earned a free turkey or a lasagne (because here in Nueva Jersey and NY, people of Italian heritage don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving, they eat lasagne--I actually learned of this tradition from an Italian friend of mine in MI who would go to visit her granny on Long Island every year. I didn't believe it til I walked past the noodle and tomato sauce aisle last November!).

The weight limit on said free turkey was 21 lbs.

Dr. Mad Scientist being the intrepid turkey diver that he is, was able to score us a 20.69 pound turkey out of the pile o'turkeys last time we went shopping!

Hahahahahah! Even though there's only three of us eating, I wasn't about to NOT fully capitalize on all 21 pounds of free turkey! We'll freeze the leftovers, eat turkey sandwiches and pull out the Crockpot Bible and see what we can come up with in the turkey department.

The only problem was when I went to put our 20.69 pounder in my normal roasting pan--about three inches of the bird stuck out!

It was off to Kmart for me!

I couldn't believe how many people were at Kmart at 11:00 a.m. on a Thanksgiving morning! What's all this talk of the economy tanking???

Anyway, I got my $10 ginormous roasting pan (so I guess in essence our free turkey wasn't really "free." But I will use the roasting pan again!) and Thanksgiving was saved.

The Furbag Twins even split a can of wet food--Turkey n'Giblets--in honor of the day.


And after we sat down to eat our feast...

Note the turkey hanging out of the SAME side of Chunky's mouth as the picture from yesterday--I guess some things never change!

It was time for cake,


And presents!


Before I leave, did anyone notice the proliferation of knitting references in this year's Black Friday ads?

I have no intention of getting up at the buttcrack of dawn to wrastle people for deals on anything, but I like "window shopping" the Black Friday ads every year in the paper.

Plus our TV is slowly starting to die, so I thought I'd scope prices on them. Nothing doing--since we're not in the market for a 19" squint-o-matic TV or a 62" taller-than-I-am TV, we'll make do with our funky picture TV until she dies a formal death.

Anyway, I spotted needles in a IKRAPA (IKEA) ad:


If I put my knitting at the foot of the bed like that, it would be turned to shit by the aforementioned Furbag Twins in no time.

And then there was this one from Vintage Armada (Old Navy):


Holy lord, I've seen orgasms faked better than what those two models are doing!


Thursday, November 27, 2008

Gobble Gobble!

How much do I love the "schedule" feature of Blogger?

Happy Thanksgiving for those of the American persuasion!

And Happy Thursday to those who aren't engaging in the ritual sacrificing of the bird. (Speaking of--did you see the Sarah Palin TurkeyGate video? I haven't laughed so hard in all my life!)

But as I've mentioned in many posts leading up to this one--it's a double special day at the old Bezidence.

It's Chunky's 7th birthday!


As you can see, this year he requested a snowman cake.

So it was out with the pumpkin pie, and in with Frosty the Cake!


I gotta say, this is one of the best birthday cakes I've made the Chunk in a long time.

I'll leave you with this hilarious picture I found of his first Thanksgiving (he was born the Tuesday after Thanksgiving in 2001--but every five years his birthday lands on turkey day).


Hee hee, OK I lied, this picture makes me laugh harder than the TurkeyGate video!

Gobble Gobble!

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Time Wasting

It's Thanksgiving Eve!!!

I took the day off of work to run errands this morning--and at noonish I'll pick up the Chunkmeister from school (he's had five 1/2 days in a row!) and I'll come home to do my baking. Mainly cornbread and Chunky's birthday cake.

In the meantime for lack of blogging material--enjoy the latest Top 100 metastasizing around the web!

Things I've Done (In Bold)

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars--I've done more than slept too--bow chickie bow wow!
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii--does in utero count? I was technically on my parent's honeymoon. Half-Bastard Power!
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity--Yes, but it was only to spite my beeyotch boss.
7. Been to Disneyland/world--As part of my Lower 48 Cherry Poppin' Trip!
8. Climbed a mountain--Dr. Mad Scientist proposed to me on a mountain after we were done doing #2. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightening at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning--Dr. Mad Scientist made me my first Mother's Day dinner and um, yeah, I can't eat eggplant anymore as a result.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables--Duh!
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight--Has anyone NEVER had a pillow fight?
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill--Only when I worked for the beeyotch listed in #6.
24. Built a snow fort--They take away your Alaskan Citizenship if you haven't.
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset--And I've seen the gloamin too.
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise--You'd have to kill me first to get me on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community--I know we drove thru them in Michigan.
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight--Hee hee, in college...
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted--Do self-portraits count?
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain--I kissed Dr. Mad Scientist goodbye this morning at the train station before he left the car and it was raining. This counts.
53. Played in the mud--Oh purrrrrrr!!!
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia --No, but I can see it from my parents' house. Ha ha!
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching--Um, not intentionally. But when you're driving/walking by the ocean, they're really easy to spot.
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy--I think I have Kaye The Duck around here somewhere...
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial--Oog. We want to go back to D.C. But not in August in the heat with an 8 month old. NIGHTMARE!
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square--Honestly, I keep walking in Times Square. I hate the jackasses that stop on the sidewalk in Manhattan. KEEP MOVING OR GET OUT OF THE WAY!
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car--Sorry, this will never happen. I'll buy a brand new to ME car, but never a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox--Thanks to my little sister T. who brought it home from Sunday school. She owes me the last week of Third Grade--the best week of school!!!
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury--Nope. I make sure I get kicked off of them.
91. Met someone famous--Hmm...sorta. But it's probably breaking client/attorney confidentiality to tell you who.

92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby--Yes! 6 years and 364 days ago!
95. Seen the Alamo in person--Don't remind me!
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit--I'm going to say yes on this one since they don't say "named in a law suit." Law suits keep the lights on and the estimated heat paid at this house!
98. Owned a cell phone--Yes, we finally joined this movement thanks to the melting pot that is America.
99. Been stung by a bee--He got stuck on my sock. Moral of the story: Never wear socks with sandals.
100. Rode an elephant


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I Hate PSE&G


Remember how I was saying we haven't turned the heat on at all?

It's been tough, but we're sticking it out.

You have to look at it like this: In the summer we don't have A/C. We have to suck it up and deal with 100 degrees and humid sticky temps.

Admittedly, we have fans in the summer that we run. And we have Cold Fish.

But in the winter we have electric blankets, and fleece pullovers.

So after dealing with 100 degrees in a stuff-ass old house, 48 degrees? Shoot that's nothing.

But onto the real reason I'm posting today.

The electric and gas bill came in the mail yesterday.

I was SO excited to reap the benefits of our experiment in how long we could go without heat.


And then I was pissed.

See that? October's total bill was $62.88 for gas AND electric.

And did you see what they want for our total bill this month?


Needless to say I'm livid.

I am DONE with these fucknuts and PSE&G doing this:


ESTIMATING our gas usage.

You can see right there in black and effing white that we didn't even use 1 CCF per day in November 2007.

Hell, look at the whole year--did we EVER top more than 2 CCFs per day???? NO. So obviously, this winter we MUST be using 3 CCFs in November.

You will also note that December and February are two months last year that they estimated our bill so completely wrong that we had a ZERO balance in how much gas we used (we paid for it all the month before as an "estimate" of the prior month's total useage).

Here's my question.

If you're going to give us a fucking graph showing us how many daily CCFs we use for each month in a year--WHY ARE YOUR ESTIMATES SO FAR OFF????

So here I'll be paying these jackasses $173 of which they are entitled to maybe $70 of and that other $100 that could be earning a .000002% interest in my savings account goes to their greedy little coffers.

However, I WILL be calling their asses on Wednesday to complain.

Yes, I realize I can call in my meter readings or call to have a meter reader come out--but I'm pretty sure they charge you a fee for that. I'll look into it. Even if I don't get charged a fee to read it to them, why the hell am I doing THEIR job?

Gah. Someday man, I'm going to be living in the Canadian wilderness on my potato farm and heating our house on our own feces or possibly plain old potato power!

Down with the man!!!!

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Monday, November 24, 2008

No Wonder My Nose is So Sticky!

Continuing with my pre-Christmas theme...

...and usually I hate Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving, but this year is going to be a great Christmas--we haven't had one of those in a while--I'm getting very excited about it!

We have my latest FO:


The Chunky Santa Hat.

He asked me to make him a new Santa hat since his old one, which was part of his Halloween costume from circa 2005, no longer fit.

How could I deny?

The details:

Pattern: My own.

Yarn: TLC Cotton Plus in red and white (LOVE the Cotton Plus!)

Needles: US 7

Notes: It's a simple Santa hat with a 2x2 ribbing on the edge and a craptacular pompom. Fast and mindless.

So mindless that when you're wearing it, you won't even notice the dot of jelly on your nose leftover from eating your PB&J for lunch!

It also comes in handy that he wore this all day Sunday. We survived Saturday's temps of 35 degrees and wind without turning on the heat (Oh we came soooo close to caving! The thermostat was showing 48 degrees in the apartment!). This week is supposed to be much warmer--mid to low 40s during the day and temps right around freezing at night.

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

Jingle Balls

I haven't done a secret pal swap in literally years, but I decided to do the one-time knitty Magic Jingle Ball Swap.

The gist is you take a ball of yarn, and you wind little trinkets, candy, etc. into the ball. The recipient unwinds the ball to discovery the little deelie bobs your Magic Baller has hidden in the ball of yarn.

Mine came yesterday--all the way from Sweden! All wrapped up in this beautiful yarn:


That's REAL silver spun into that yarn! Wool, silk and silver sock yarn? Do I dare knit any socks out of it for my funkalicous feet????

Inside the ball (and I didn't take pictures while I unwound because it was dark outside and well, any blogger knows what a nosedive their pictures can take during the winter months!) was this plethora of little deeley bobs:


I really dig that teeny roll of scotch tape! Hee hee! I'm so easily amused!

The raffia snowflakes weren't in the ball (too delicate!). But I love all the little things in there! Blinky, the Christmas tree I bought at Fred Meyer during my first (and last!) Black Friday, in 1996 will have some kickin' new ornaments this year.

Oddly enough there's already some ornaments on Blinky that were handcrafted by my Swedish roommate in college. These will fit right in!

I think I'm going to hang the little heart pocket she crocheted on Blinky as well. According to her note, the pockets are usually made from paper and filled with candy on Christmas and you don't eat the candy until the tree is taken down.

The ball came encased in this beautiful handmade origami-esque project bag shown here with a skein of super soft Alchemy Haiku.


And escaping the pictures she also included a set of Pattern Tamers (which I've already got in use on my test knit--so much nicer than post-it notes).

So who do I have to thank for this beautiful ballage?

If I had to render a guess, I'd put my teeny tape on Sandykins!

Thanks Sandy for a fun swap!

And stay tuned for an FO tomorrow...


Friday, November 21, 2008

Say Hello To My Little Friend

Ok, the last thing I want is for this to become a freakin' kiddie blog--but I can't resist ranting about this.

Plus the only thing on my needles right now is a test knit, and a knit Santa hat that said kiddie requested I make for him.

Nothing really all that exciting or bloggable (the test knit is exciting, but I'm not sure if it's bloggable!)

Anyway--onto my rant.

What the hell is up with parents????

I go to pick up Chunky from Aftercare (Squash bless the YMCA!) and as he's getting his coat on, little Donnie Doofus comes running up to him, pantomimes shooting a machine gun and says "Say hello to my little friend!" and laughs.


Chunky gives him this "What the hell are you talking about?" look and continues to get his backpack ready to leave.

Donnie Doofus continues to do his schtick and when Chunky doesn't join in laughing or showing any inkling of what this kid is talking about he asks:

"Haven't you seen that movie Chunky? I've seen that movie!"

Chunky: "Ahhhh, no."

Donnie Doofus: "You know! 'Say hello to my little friend!'" (and he pretends to shoot the machine gun again).

Chunky: "Yeah ok, whatever Donnie."

Holy mother of Fatzah! I asked Chunky in the car what grade Donnie Doofus was in (the Aftercare program is for first through sixth graders). Donnie Doofus is in the same grade--first.

Who in the HELL would let their first grader (or younger--because who knows how young this kid was when he saw it) watch Scarface?!?!?!?

I'll admit, I'm no saint. I let Chunky watch what some parents might think is questionable--like Futurama (as long as he doesn't repeat the bad words Fry and Bender say!) but Scarface? Along with the gratuitous violence isn't that the movie where the word "fuck" is uttered 182 times????

Cut to today at 11:00 a.m.-ish when the receptionist buzzes me with "your son's school" on the line.

Aw crap. If you're a working mom, you'll immediately identify with the feeling panic and anticipation "The Call" invokes before you pick up the phone.

Ends up it was the school nurse (aw crap!) calling me to inform me that Chunky has been punched in the face by a kid we shall call Peter Punkass.

According to the nurse it didn't hurt Chunky--Peter Punkass clocked him in the cheek and didn't cause any swelling or hurt teeth--but he did leave a red mark and she had him ice it for a bit.

Then she put Chunky on the phone with me. Apparently all the first grade classes were getting together to watch a movie and Peter Punkass (not in his class) sat down next to him and asked him if he wanted a demonstration of how hard he could punch.

Before Chunky could respond, that's when Peter Punkass gave him a knuckle sandwich.

Peter Punkass is also a dumbass because he did this right as his teacher was walking up.

According to the nurse Peter Punkass was in the principal's office (and Chunky later informed me Peter didn't get to watch the movie). She couldn't believe how Chunky didn't even cry when Peter punched him (he's always been a tough kid--his toddler months mastering the art of walking were spent smashing his head on the coffee table with nary a tear shed) and how kind he was in speaking of this kid.

The only thing bad he had to say about Peter Punkass was how he didn't really like playing with him at recess, because along with being a Punkass, he's also a kickball hog.

I told Chunky on the way home how proud I was of him not punching that kid back.

What did Sarte say? Hell is other people?

I think when you're a parent they saying is hell is other people's kids!

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

Jersey knit bloggers from up here near my exit on the GSP down to south Jersey have been commenting on our rapid descent into winter.

I'm not complaining!

I've sealed the windows.

The electric blankets have been pulled out of summer storage.

Hot chocolate consumption is on the rise.

When I use the oven, I crack it open a bit after I'm done with it to let some of that warm air out (no, do NOT run your oven while the oven door is open!).

And the cats are in full snuggle mode. Might as well make them earn those crunchkas I keep them supplied with.


These two Alaskans and their Michigan-born boy aren't going to be swayed by daytime highs in the 40s and nighttime lows in the mid-20s to turn on these archaic, dangerous and highly expensive radiators!!!


Popular to contrary belief, we do NOT reap any of the heat that Zorba the Landlord has on the bottom floor (I say this because I sort of froze a babysitter one weekend when I forgot that normal people turn their heat on and she watched Chunky for two hours in the cold--I had to convince her I'd turn on the heat for her the next time I called her to babysit!).

I've been down to Zorba's floor and it's like a sauna in there!! He may not spend money on a roof that doesn't leak, but he keeps his heat on his floor!

I wonder how long we can last before we cave and turn it on? I'm not ready to let go of my $65 a month electric and gas bill quite yet.

But speaking of Alaskans and cats--Dr. Mad Scientist and I read this article about "exotic" cat breeds in Alaska.

Now, I don't have the papers, but I'm pretty sure the coworker who gave me Springs paid damn good money for his furry ass--so I know he's not too "mutt-y."

She told me he is (and he somewhat matches the not-so-great-examples of) a bengal housecat. If you read the last sentence of that article we read today--he'd be illegal to possess in the state of Alaska.


It's OK Springs, if we ever move back up there with you, I'll demand a blood test!! I could never part with my Meaty McDoodle Cat!

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Monday, November 17, 2008

The Quicker Thicker Pimper Upper

Only what, 37 days til Christmas?

And just in time for the joyous holiday season, my sister T. has had her first piece of writing published in a major market. I hope she doesn't mind me pimping it here.

No, it's not a novel.

No, it's not a Zagat-knock-off-guide to energy bars.

No, it's not an angsty poem about unrequited feline love.

It's more useful than that.


It's the copy on a jumbo pack o'Bounty paper towels available at your local Sam's Club.

T. works for a major southern Ohio advertising company where she gets paid to do stuff like this.


She also got to write the copy on the back of jumbo pack o'towels as well. (Down there at the bottom next to the picture of the paper towels.)

Sadly I live in a Blue State where there are closer Costcos than Sam's Clubs--so I let my Sam's Club membership lapse when we moved to New Jersey. Not sure if they sell them at Costco or not. Plus I gave up using papertowels--too expensive. So I won't get to see her work in person.

But if you're an avid Sam's Club shopper with a penchant for paper towels a holiday flair, pick some up!

Now if she gets promoted to toilet paper copy girl, I'll be able to enjoy her work!!!


Sunday, November 16, 2008

Weekend Wrap Up

What a productive weekend.

Saturday saw rain and crappy weather. So Chunky and I set out to stimulate the economy. Oof. I've had enough of that to last me a while. Which is good because after mid-January when Dr. Mad Scientist quits his job to concentrate on school full time, it's back to serious cheapassedness.

I don't really mind starving periods--when you know they're coming. It's the ones that you don't see coming that blow!

Sunday was most productive.

I clipped my Sunday paper coupons. (With Thanksgiving around the corner, the coupon pickin's have been ripe!)

I baked oatmeal chocolate chips for the lunches.


I paid the cable bill.

I organized my knitting books--which were getting out of control.

I purchased some yarn for December's K.A.Y.E. prize--hee hee, it's a hot-ticket item, and I know December's going to be busy, so I nabbed it today!

I shrinkwrapped the windows with that sealing film. I finally found it at a store! Stupid Home Despot didn't have it--I just happened to find it when I walked to Harrison at lunch on Friday to pick up some Draino from an Ace Hardware store. You can tell it's a good store when they have a shop cat walking around!

That shrinkwrapping was a bitch though. I know Dr. Mad Scientist was getting tired of my constant cussing and pissing and moaning as I sealed our four most drafty windows. Mark my words, if we ever buy our own house, quaint as original 1920 windows are--I WILL have them replaced!!!

And then for some reason, I decided I would check the mail--Chunky offhandedly mentioned today that he saw the mail lady go to our house twice on Saturday.

He was right!



First I have my issue of Knitcircus! Great issue too--I'm really grooving on the articles they included this issue. It's a great well produced "indie" knitting/craft mag with a decent price--check it out if you haven't already.

A cute little thank you picture from Scrappy and Gangles for sending in fish for their fishie blanket that their crazy loving mom Kristi seamed up for them! (Sorry Chunky, I love you too, but no way in hell would I seam that many fish for you!)

And I finally got my canning tongs that I ordered back in July! Oh thank god, just in time for the 2009 canning season. (Can you hear my eyeballs rolling from here?)

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to do some ironing, wrap Christmas presents for the extended family for mailing after Turkey Day, and some casting on!


Saturday, November 15, 2008


It's a cloudy rainy blowy crummy day out today. But it's a perfect day to stay inside and fart around.

Ah, the joys of being the mother of a boy. My little PSA to any of you considering procreating!! If you end up with a boy, these are the timeless moments you get to savor.

Ha ha!


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Go West Young Man!

What a bummer, Horace Greeley ripped that quote off!

That's OK, I lived in Greeley, Colorado named after Horace--it smells bad there. I think Horace got his due for ripping off that quote. Sunday blood burning--yeah, I don't miss that odoriferous adventure at all!

But thank goodness for those young and old people and Manifest Destiny, lest this scarf might be called the East Coaster Lifer Plait Scarf instead of the Pioneer Braid Scarf.



What a great knit.

The details:

Pattern: Pioneer Braid Scarf from Hither and Yarn.

Yarn: Three balls of Noro Kureyon. Colors? Beats me. I don't pay attention to colors unless the yarn manufacturer actually names the colors instead of just numbering them. Yawn!

Needles: US 8s

Notes: Did I mention how much I enjoyed knitting this scarf? It was the perfect scarf to show the large clumps of trademark Noro color. Not to mention I finally found the neck covering I yearned to have LAST winter. My Irish Hiking Scarf just wasn't doing the trick anymore.

This will bring a splash of color to the winter-gray Newark scene! Speaking of splash of color, I guess a couple of my coworkers saw the aftermath of a stabbing today at lunch. Aye, the female chickens have their feathers in a flurry now that's for sure.

I leave you with the familiar Bezzista scarf pose.


And yes, I will also cross post this on The Place That Shall Not Be Named because right now, there's only 7 other projects of this pattern. Since I only really use TPTSNBN as a pattern-catalogue, I like to give the less-popular projects a little exposure (unless I'm displaying a gift, in which case, I could just be adding to the white noise of the hundreds of projects in that specific pattern already posted).


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Cold November Rain

Shoot I wish it was cold and raining. But no, it's only chilly and sunny. Sigh.

But the title of today's post is a tie-in to this month's K.A.Y.E. prize.


A nice smooshiferous hank of Misti Alpaca Chunky baby alpaca.

I chose this for two reasons. First, the color, although it is called "Spring Purple" reminded me more instead of a rain/snow cloud--that deep purpley gray color they get before they dump on you.


Second because November is the month my own Chunky was born. And there WAS a cold November rain falling that day. (Insert Slash guitar solo here.)

What do you do to win this yarn? Click the K.A.Y.E. link in this post for the rules, or click on the sidebar. Read the rules (comment entries will NOT be accepted--sorry) and if you qualify--enter!

I've been reviewing the numbers from last year's contest in comparison with this year's and I'm thinking some contest pimping might be in order.

Last year there were a total number of 161 entrants. This year, as of this post, I'm only up to 109. Not sure I'll hit 161 by the end of the year!


Sunday, November 09, 2008


Yesterday was amazing.

Chunky and I ran around like a crazed monkeys on crack to clean the house and do the grocery shopping so we could take off to the start of the Jersey Shore at a get together hosted by the cupcakeferous Karen...

It was so worth it!

I got to meet Karen's knit-nite (they knit at a bar..hee hee) buddy Jena, her neighbor Theresa (a fellow west-coast transplant who has eveb done some time in Texas!), Nancy who I haven't seen in nearly a freakin' year--way too long!, fellow Jersinian (Jerseyite?) Necia wearing her amazing 100% handspun February Lady sweater, RosiG who is just as amazing in person as she is on her blog, and one other lady, who came with Rosi and Necia and embarrassingly I didn't catch her name--but she was working on a Hemlock Blanket in a refreshing yellow color. I don't think I've seen anyone finish one of those in a color that isn't close to the original Brooklyn Tweed drab oatmeal color.

Chunky had a good time hanging with Karen's son, and Rosi and Jena's daughters.

I get home and I'm not sure if it was witnessing firsthand Rosi popping a certain cherry that I hope she blogs about (I won't spoil it here), the talk of Nancy's Second Life pole dancing endeavors, conversations about box elder bug shit, Necia's son's desire to devour an entire piece of livestock, or seeing the completely inSANE things Karen has been knitting, but I was hit with some inspiration.

It also helps that catalogue season is upon us.

I will be honest, now that Chunky seems to have many "cut out a picture of _____ and do ______ with it" homework assignments, I've subscribed to more catalogues as it's cheaper than subscribing to magazines!

One of those is the L.L. Bean catalogue (also ordered to see the stuff that excites my sister T. so much).

But in addition for being scissor fodder, like I said, they're kind of inspirational. It's also interesting to see what the latest sweater trends are.


The token Irish Fisherman Sweater--made in Ireland. Although I doubt anyone but tourists wear them!


Hmm...I'm not so sure about those Fair Isle Cowboy Boot Slippers. Too many mixed cultures in one piece of footwear.


This sweatercoat is actually from a Delia's catalogue. I've been on their mailing list from waaaaay back when my fat ass actually fit their clothes!


This L.L. Bean sweatervest hit me as sooooo last year. And for $50 + S&H, you could probably knit it yourself like TurtleGirl did out of Knitpicks yarn for the same amount of money if not less.

It was actually NOT a sweater that inspired me.


It was this fleecy number.

Now I just have to wait for Christmas to be over and I can knit something similar. I'd cast on now, but I want the needles to be relatively empty for emergency Christmas knitting.

You know how it goes--as soon as you think it's all done, there's always SOMEBODY you forget!


Friday, November 07, 2008

The Ugly, the Bad, the Good

First I'll start with the ugly. And yes, I know I said no more politics, but it gets better at the end!

Cross burnings in New Jersey in 2008. Where's all that giddy hope everyone had on Wednesday?

Then I'll start with the bad (well not so much but it makes for a good theme blog title!).

New Jersey teachers are lukewarm on the Oboner. Not surprising--but the opposition didn't have much more to offer either. And like Dr. Mad Scientist put it, the Oboner has bigger fires to put out before he worries about good old fashioned edjumication.

And finally the trifecta of good!

I might have voted for Oboner had he made this stance a little more well known.

Hey, if people voted for him based solely on his race (I know at least ONE person who reads this blog admitted that was their reason for voting for him to me!) why not base it on his BCS beliefs? Admittedly you kind of have to be a college football dork to fully appreciate that article but again I know at least one person who's a college football dork who reads this blog!

But I've got something good for everyone--regardless of your dork leanings--today.

Some knitting--


The Pioneer Braid scarf moves along nicely.

And finally some excitement in the mail!


Four packages of Victor Mousetraps!

I've blogged about our Fall/Winter problem with mice.

Like the leaky roof that Zorba is too cheap to fix, I can't imagine him actually trying to seal up all the cracks these mice are getting in. The house is about 80 years old (which Zorba must be too, now that I think about it) even if he wasn't a stingy old landlord (yet who takes over a week or more to cash the damn rent check--SO ANNOYING!) there ain't no way he'd be able to seal up all those holes!

Anyway, I bought three packages of Victor Snappy Traps at Home Despot (along with 42 lbs of charcoal for the grill--barbeque steaks in January baybee!) last weekend and out of that three packages of four mousetraps a package--only FOUR of the twelve total mousetraps set properly.

I emailed Victor customer service telling them what a loyal customer I am--not a lie, this will be our 2.5 winter in this house and we've used them ever since we started finding mouse turdlets in our cupboard--and how I prefer using snappy traps because they're safe for having around the boy and the furbags and more humane in the killing department than glue traps, and how disappointed I was to come across such shoddy mousetrapmanship.

In less than 24 hours they emailed me back and asked me for my mailing address. And today an envelope of 16 traps total came in the mail. I emailed them on Monday!

It's refreshing to know that in this world of cross burnings and failed education systems and broken college football playoff systems that may or may not get fixed, there's still a ray of hope that some American business still believe in customer service and the mousetrapmanship of their products!

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Thursday, November 06, 2008

No Fair!

Since there's really no knitting going on aside from my Pioneer Braid Scarf (I'm afraid to cast on anything big at this point so close to Christmas--I know as soon as I do, I'll find some kind of knitted Christmas gifts that need to be made--and I'm a 3-projects ONLY at a time kinda girl) I'm going to blog about Chunky's day.

New Jersey schoolkids didn't have to go to school today or tomorrow because of the NJ Teacher Hootenanny 2008. It's just a bit of hoot with a little bit o'nanny.

The YMCA, who also does his aftercare at the school on normal school days, has a pretty extensive inservice program.

For $42 a day (for Y members) your kid gets to do cool stuff on their days off from school.

Tuesday (election-inservice day) he got to participate in a mock-election and then they walked to the Y where they swam and played in the gym.

Today he did something that I am insanely jealous of--they had a tour of the Meadowlands.

All Access Pass Baby!

They went to the racetrack (horses), got to check things out at the IZOD Center (basketball games, theater, concerts, etc.), and then they got to go tour Giants Stadium.

He got to go down to the field! He got to go into the Jets locker room! He came back with all of these really interesting nuggets o'knowledge about the salaries of football players and what the grass is made of on the playing field (recycled tires).

I'm so jealous!

Chunky wanted to take a close-up pic of his pass.

Man, when I was in first grade I never got to do such cool things. I think we got to tour the post office or something. Admittedly exciting when you're in first grade, but nearly every town has a post office!

This kid is so lucky to grow up in a place with all these things I only ever just heard or read about or saw on TV growing up!!!

The Y effin' rocks--and I'm not even a young man OR Christian!

Tomorrow? He gets to go bowling. Sigh. Think my bosses would be OK if I called in sick to go bowling?

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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Big surprise, but the American voters showed up yesterday to the party wearing their O-face.

I woke up not feeling any more changed or hopeful than I did yesterday.

However that's not to say that I'm excited to now dub him PE Oboner or possibly PE BO which is a more unifying cross-sexual experience. I've had BO after PE, but sadly never a boner after climbing the rope in gym class...

Thank god it's over. Hopefully we'll only have to listen to a week more of this shit, a little more in January and it will be back to crap as normal.

Not to mention no more politics on here! Hee hee! Don't worry, I've got some great blog fodder planned!!! Muhahahahahahahahaha!


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Feed Your Head!

I've come the conclusion that the people that wake up at the butt crack of dawn to wait in a line to pick Douchebag A or Douchebag B are crazy.

After dropping Chunky off at the Live Y (because they don't have school on election day, lucky little bastards) at 8:00 a.m. today, on my drive to work I passed various community centers and schools where the lines to vote were outrageously long.

At work my lowest of the totem pole boss informed me she woke up early and waited in line 40 minutes only to have the voting machines break when she reached the front of the line. By that time she had to go to work. Luckily one of my coworkers is running for mayor of Hoboken--so she can bitch straight to him if he's successful today! Ha ha!

I wrote in a candidate for President. I just couldn't bring myself to vote for Douchebag A or Douchebag B.

As I see it, even Robot Nixon has better qualities than those two.


Although I don't really subscribe to the "you can only bitch if you vote" mentality--I now claim laughing rights when whenever today's winner can't make good on their lofty campaign promises and this country really isn't "changed" as much as they promised it would be when he took office!

As for the state positions--I voted a straight Democrat line. Why? Because many of those running are clients of ours. They stay in office, they stay clients and Bezzie-poo's firm gets more income, more firm income means more job security.

Overall the voting was not a phenomenal mind blowing experience as the mainstream media would have you believe. Nor do I feel like I'm full of civic pride or that I made a difference. (This could just be a remnant feeling from living in Alaska where your vote quite honestly doesn't count unless it's a Hanging Chad/Nailbiter Hail Mary Pass Into the Endzone Election).

We were in, out, and on with our lives.

My only gripe would be Wingus and Dingus who were from some non-partisan group sitting outside the door to the multi-purpose room where the voting booths were set up who asked us: "Do you know where you're voting today?"

I looked at them like they were a pair of idiots and said "Ah...right through this door, like I've done twice before already since we've lived here..."

I guess they've been dealing with a bunch of people that lost their voting virginity today and didn't know what to do.

In the end, after having voted in my third state for President of los Estados Unidos, New Jersey wins for fastest voting time no matter what the election. Presidential, primary or mid-term school propositions (I HAD to vote YES on all-day kindergarten!).

Alaska wins for most beautiful polling place--I lost my voting virginity in that church where I cast a provisional ballot for Slick Willy.

That leaves Michigan, where sadly we always had to wait in long lines no matter what kind of election it was. But it was at a firehouse--so seeing the firetrucks up close was kind of cool for little toddler Chunky.

Texas had long lines too. However, I only voted there once and in a mid-term congressional/gubernatorial election.

And if you're wondering who Chunky voted for--he voted for Oboner in his school election.

When I asked him why he picked Oboner over McCain--he replied:

"I dunno. I like his hair. He's got style."*

Out of the mouths of babes.

*Of course as Dr. Mad Scientist pointed out, he voted for George Bush Sr. in his school election in 1988 because he thought Dukakis had a funny name. And if you know what our real last name is, it makes that rationale even funnier!


Monday, November 03, 2008

Garter Stitch Love

I know I dissed large swathes of garter stitch in my post about my February Lady Sweater, but for some reason I'm OK with it in scarves.

I had wanted to knit a scarf for the Special Olympics, using some of the garter stitch patterns out of Knitting New Scarves but the effing stores around here that deal in Red Heart don't think that carrying Blue Delft is worthwhile.

Couple this with my failed attempt to knit a nice new scarf/neckwarmer for myself last winter...

When I saw the pattern for the Pioneer Braid Scarf I knew I had to cast on!


Oh mama, this is about the funnest garter stitch you'll ever knit. It's mindless, but requires a bit o'concentration--but not enough where you can't watch a good TV program as well.

I get the feeling this scarf will be done pretty fast!

But before I leave you--remember to buy your gun vote tomorrow--because if you're one of the NYC or Seattle readers of this blog your vote could have sexy results. (Not safe for work if your office tracks where you go--but nothing risque will show up on the screen if you click).


Sunday, November 02, 2008

Commercialize The Vote! (And an FO of Sorts)

I finished a Christmas present yesterday. Possibly the fastest things I've ever freakin' knit. Cast on in the afternoon, bound off that night.

But they're a Christmas present--for someone who reads this blog (sporadically, but enough where I'm not going to post them). Therefore, I'm going to do the tacky knitblogger thing and link you to look at them at The Place That Shall Not Be Named.

I really hate linking like that (so exclusionary to knitters that don't choose to hop on that bandwagon)--but it is great when you want to show off stuff to knitters who do subscribe to that bandwagon but not to the recipients of said knitted gift. Ha ha!

Now I have to ask--is it Tuesday yet?

Has anyone noticed the start of the commercialization of November 4th?

You can shop the Election Day Sale at A.C. Moore with your 50% off coupon:


Or maybe you can throw and Election Party with a veggie tray from Shop Rite:


Watching Saturday Night Live last night (because sorry Oboner Supporters--your candidate is boring and really not very funny to parody, I couldn't miss McCane's appearance!) Starschmucks unveiled that they were giving away a free tall coffee if you walk into their store on Tuesday and tell them that you voted.

On Tuesday you can also walk into your local Ben and Jerry's Scoop Shop and enjoy a free scoop of ice cream from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m.

If you walk into Krispy Kreme with your "I voted" sticker (which I have to say I have NEVER received in the 12 years I've been able to vote) on Tuesday you get a free star shaped donut with patriotic sprinkles (never mind that KK will give you a free damn donut just for standing in line any old day when the "hot light" is on--but oooo! Starshaped with red, white and blue sprinkles!).

Don't worry though, it's not all sugary foods and beverages! You can get deep fat fried too! If you walk into Shane's Rib Shack (a chain that appears to be primarily located in the southern US, but they've got a few stores in more northern states) wearing your "I voted" sticker on Tuesday you get a free 3 piece chicken tenders, fries and a 20oz drink.

I'm not sure what makes me want to vomit more--the idea of participating in all of these promotions in one day? Or the idea that this is what our country is heading towards?

I'm thinking about offering free yarn to any knitter/crocheter who can provide me with the receipt for their firearms purchased on November 4 because if we're going to bribe people to exercise their right to vote, let's be equal about it and bribe people to exercise their right to bear arms.

This is America right? The land of equality!!

Regardless, these sugary, caffeiney, fat-laden promotions should drive home the idea that we as a nation should be thinking about the future of our healthcare system because we're all going to be even more a bunch of overweight walking coronary diabetics if corporate America keeps bribing us to vote!

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Saturday, November 01, 2008

End o'October Round Up

October is over!

I love Halloween, but I also love Thanksgiving and Christmas and Halloween is like the gateway holiday to them both.

This Thanksgiving and Christmas will be very special too with Chunky's birthday and family visiting. These things only happen once in a blue moon, or every five years in Chunky's birthday case!

Trick or treating went well.

Chunky went mainstream with his costume this year.


Thank god he still lets me get away with making him a costume.

I made the mask and the belt out of some fun foam that cost $2. (The belt itself was an old purse strap I had lying around).

We did have to buy the black turtleneck. But it was only $2.99 (total Chicom*, I know!). I'm almost hesitant to count that since he'll wear it again as normal clothes.

He already had a pair of black pants and the cape Grandma made him years ago.

$5 total for his costume. Sweet.

So sweet Rosie wanted to dress up too.


Hmm...her head's not quite big enough.

On the knitting front, I also finished Chunky's green and gold CSU scarf last night.

Those are the monkey jammies Grandma made him, cute huh?

It's a simple pattern called a reversible rib I think. I've used it to knit three scarves now. Two Colorado State colored ones and one Raiders colored one for Grandpa Mad Scientist last Christmas. It's a great go-to man scarf pattern.

Finally the end of a month also means one thing--time for the monthly K.A.Y.E. winner announcement.

And the winner of the Harry Potter Ron-on-Harry (or would it be Harry-on-Ron?) Halibut Prince sock yarn is:



For the rest of October's entrants, don't fret, your name still goes in the ginormous pool for the Grand Prize drawing at the end of the year (another reason to look forward to December!).

And if you have no clue what I'm going on about, click the K.A.Y.E. link in this post or on the sidebar, read the rules, and if you qualify, let me know!

Now if you'll excuse me, now that it's November, I have to go ponder what my Christmas cards will be!

*I'm not sure if this is a disparaging term or not--my Old Man uses it to describe anything mass produced in China that you can buy at Wally's, etc. I guess it means Chinese Communist (or did back in the day) but I always thought it meant Chinese Company...

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