Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Feed Your Head!

I've come the conclusion that the people that wake up at the butt crack of dawn to wait in a line to pick Douchebag A or Douchebag B are crazy.

After dropping Chunky off at the Live Y (because they don't have school on election day, lucky little bastards) at 8:00 a.m. today, on my drive to work I passed various community centers and schools where the lines to vote were outrageously long.

At work my lowest of the totem pole boss informed me she woke up early and waited in line 40 minutes only to have the voting machines break when she reached the front of the line. By that time she had to go to work. Luckily one of my coworkers is running for mayor of Hoboken--so she can bitch straight to him if he's successful today! Ha ha!

I wrote in a candidate for President. I just couldn't bring myself to vote for Douchebag A or Douchebag B.

As I see it, even Robot Nixon has better qualities than those two.


Although I don't really subscribe to the "you can only bitch if you vote" mentality--I now claim laughing rights when whenever today's winner can't make good on their lofty campaign promises and this country really isn't "changed" as much as they promised it would be when he took office!

As for the state positions--I voted a straight Democrat line. Why? Because many of those running are clients of ours. They stay in office, they stay clients and Bezzie-poo's firm gets more income, more firm income means more job security.

Overall the voting was not a phenomenal mind blowing experience as the mainstream media would have you believe. Nor do I feel like I'm full of civic pride or that I made a difference. (This could just be a remnant feeling from living in Alaska where your vote quite honestly doesn't count unless it's a Hanging Chad/Nailbiter Hail Mary Pass Into the Endzone Election).

We were in, out, and on with our lives.

My only gripe would be Wingus and Dingus who were from some non-partisan group sitting outside the door to the multi-purpose room where the voting booths were set up who asked us: "Do you know where you're voting today?"

I looked at them like they were a pair of idiots and said "Ah...right through this door, like I've done twice before already since we've lived here..."

I guess they've been dealing with a bunch of people that lost their voting virginity today and didn't know what to do.

In the end, after having voted in my third state for President of los Estados Unidos, New Jersey wins for fastest voting time no matter what the election. Presidential, primary or mid-term school propositions (I HAD to vote YES on all-day kindergarten!).

Alaska wins for most beautiful polling place--I lost my voting virginity in that church where I cast a provisional ballot for Slick Willy.

That leaves Michigan, where sadly we always had to wait in long lines no matter what kind of election it was. But it was at a firehouse--so seeing the firetrucks up close was kind of cool for little toddler Chunky.

Texas had long lines too. However, I only voted there once and in a mid-term congressional/gubernatorial election.

And if you're wondering who Chunky voted for--he voted for Oboner in his school election.

When I asked him why he picked Oboner over McCain--he replied:

"I dunno. I like his hair. He's got style."*

Out of the mouths of babes.

*Of course as Dr. Mad Scientist pointed out, he voted for George Bush Sr. in his school election in 1988 because he thought Dukakis had a funny name. And if you know what our real last name is, it makes that rationale even funnier!



Blogger Christina said...

It is funny rationale!

I went to vote after work....about 6:30 pm and there were no lines. We went right up and out (minus the 5 minutes they had to beat the ballot machine to make it work). Easy peasy.

9:37 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I voted today. It gave me a headache. Our ballot only had the Dingus Twins and two of the other candidates. I voted for true "change", by not supporting the Twins, and choosing instead to cast my vote for more choices in the future ... maybe a THIRD party in the debates ... no more "Primaries." Well, I can hope :).

I should've written in Robot Nixon ;).

As for difficulty - here it was no lines, no waiting at 11:00 am. As Christina experienced: "easy peasy."

10:26 PM  
Blogger Kay aka dkswife said...

I took me an hour to get to vote, but it was worth it.

All Hail the Oboner!!!

And that church! WOW! It is gorgeous. What a view!

3:35 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Dan had school yesterday. Nobody else's kids had to go to school. Ah well. I had to go to school on election day, Dan can too. :)

I voted last night just after 7pm. In our local firehouse. Wait time? The time it took for the guy to find my name in the book. In and out in mere minutes.

The kid voted for Obama at school too. Jena, my knit nite bud, said her 4 yo daughter wanted to vote for McCain because he "has nice eyes". LOL

7:11 AM  
Blogger Criosa said...

it took me less than half an hour.

do you not have work/vote laws out there, or did your coworker not know of them? apparently MN law says that if we vote in the morning, our employer can't penalize us for being late. so most of us went before work to take advantage of it.

7:49 AM  
Blogger Mag said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:21 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Chunky's comment was silly! I spent all day yesterday on the phone with voters and poll workers. Some of the questions from the poll workers, well, all I could do was shake my head. Either some of them weren't trained very well, or just aren't too swift. About the people asking if you know where you're voting, I can't tell you how many calls I got yesterday from poll workers trying to find the correct voting location for someone. Some people think they just vote at the closest school/church/community center to their house, but that's not always the case. That's why the poll workers ask.

About thinking your votes don't count, maybe not so much for a presidential election, but they sure do count a lot in the local races. My city's public school district had a levy on the ballot, and it passed by 400 votes. Another suburb has been trying to pass a school levy for at least the past 3 years or so, and this time it failed by barely 100 votes.

Personally, I'm excited about Obama winning. I know he's not going to be some kind of miracle worker (no one would be), but the country has become so divided over the past 8 years, and I think Obama can really help heal a lot of that. I also think the country was overdue for an African-American president. We're not (and never have been) an all-white country, and it's good to see a leader that reflects the ever-increasing diversity of this country.

7:16 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

"voting virginity"

This has me chuckling. You always managed to make me laugh.

9:11 AM  

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