Monday, December 22, 2008

Bad Girls

Or is it possibly good girls that get babies in their stockings?

Hee hee.

A little known fact: If Jesus's birthday WAS actually on December 25, the Immaculate Conception would have occurred on April Fool's Day--ask me how I know.

Another little known fact: When sperm sober up--they are quite powerful.


So that's basically the story.

Pickled sperm don't know how to swim. And that my friends is how I imagine we were able to play with fire for nearly two years and not get burned.

And if you do the math, right around April 1st-ish is when we were back in the Trust Tree enough to knock boots, and well yeah.

So without further adieu I would like to introduce our little Christmas boy--


Not sure what his blog name will be yet. But there he is.


He was ripped from my loins on December 19, 2008 at 9:35 a.m.

Say what you will about scheduled c-sections, but seeing as Chunky was also ripped from my loins (after 13 hours of labor...oog), and the fact my doctor is a sole-practitioner and won't be around this week and I was due December 25, I'm not upset about it at all. There were other factors in play as well, but I won't bore you with the details.

He was a tiny little fellow--only 6 lbs. 10 ozs, but like his big brother--he's tall--20". Chunky was 7 lbs. 14 oz. and 22" but was born two weeks later than Jersey Boy (hmmm...maybe?).


I won't regale you too much with the birth story other than to say, it didn't go exactly as planned.

I was scheduled to be at the hospital at 7:00 a.m. to be prepped for a 9:00 a.m. c-section.

Dr. Mad Scientist was to drive me to the hospital (with Chunky in tow), drop me off, then drive Chunky to school, and then drive baaack to the hospital to attend the c-section.

Welllllll.....mother nature had other plans.

Due to the impending snow storm (that actually happened--or I would have been very pissed!) Chunky had school cancelled.

We figured he'd just have to wait in the waiting room by himself.

No dice.

He wasn't even allowed in the maternity waiting room accompanied BY Dr. Mad Scientist. So the poor boys were kicked out of the maternity ward made to wait on like the first floor of the hospital (I was on the 4th floor) waiting room.

Thankfully my doctor ran into Dr. Mad Scientist when he snuck up at 9:00 a.m. to get a status report on me as she was going to scrub up and she knew who he was.

The nurses were very cool in that when they finally ripped new baby boy from my loins, they made sure (when they finally found him on the first floor) that Dr. Mad Scientist and Chunky got to see him and they even snuck Chunky back to the door of the post-op where he was able to wave to me as I was in recovery. Hee hee!

So, sadly Dr. Mad Scientist couldn't be there for the actual removal of the kiddo.

It's funny because I was upset that he couldn't be there for himself, and he was upset he couldn't be there for me.

But it makes for a good story. And for the record, Chunky was amazing in the waiting room for five hours. Didn't whine a bit. I think it helped that they took snowball breaks and would go outside to check out the dumpage that we got.


Ok, and the reason I didn't blog about it?

Well, as amazing as the Little Monkey (hmmm?) is, there's just something that kinda turns me off about mommy-knit blogs.

No. I'm not talking about any of the blogs I read that lean to the mommy-knit.

And I know I do my share of Chunky-centric posts, but there are a handful of those big-name knit bloggers that pop out a baby and BOOM! The only knitting you see on there is baby shit--if at all. (Oh and for the record, that baby sweater from last week--that's truly for Chunky's teacher. The only baby knit I've lied about on here was the Baby Tulips sweater from Koigu. Please! Like I'd waste good yarn like that on my brother in law's baby! Ha ha! That's for my offspring alone!)

I'm also very sensitive to allll those bloggers out there that I read that struggle with their own attempts to have kids. Be it they can't conceive, they lose their babies early or late, they go thru hellish fertility treatments, or massive paper chase trials in adoption.

It just seemed kinda insensitive to post about the trials and tribulations about pregnancy when there are so many people that would kill to be in your swollen duck-feet shoes.

That's not to say that I won't be posting the occasional baby-post, but I promise it won't be baby pictures all the effin' time.

Cookies on the other hand...

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Anonymous Cristi-Lael said...

Congratulations, he's adorable!!!

4:17 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Congratulations! He is a beautiful baby! Glad to hear the whole family is doing well!

4:19 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Congratulations! Your new bundle of joy is adorable!!

Girl, you don't even have that post-birth tired look. You look great!

And heehee at super sperm!

4:19 PM  
Blogger janna said...

Congratulations, and yay for Chunky for being such a great big brother! Little Monkey (I like that name) is such a cutie. Of course, c-section babies have the advantage of not having to fight their way out!

4:22 PM  
Blogger Kathy Kathy Kathy said...

Mazel Tov!! Another Sagittarius to make the world think and laugh.

4:28 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

Congrats!!! I'm all about the scheduling, but I'm glad for the reminder that even with planning, things go off ;-) Happy Holidays to you and your boys!

4:43 PM  
Blogger Shrinky Inky said...

where's my damn cookie recipe....j/k, i know you've been, err, busy!

Really, he's lovely and tiny and i still can't believe you kept it all hush hush. I totally will trust you with my deepest darkest secret (once I have one!)

Congrats and Happy Holidays, etc., to you all!

4:47 PM  
OpenID MarieGrace said...

Well... if that's the way you want to play it fine... cute kid... now where's the effin cookies?!?


(Actually I'm sitting here gooing and gahing over the baby pics in my little squeaky baby voice but I'm trying really hard not to.)

4:51 PM  
Blogger Mag said...

Gasp! (literally) What a beautiful newborn! (those planned C-section babies are gorgeous, no smooshing! but this little monkey is particularly handsome in his features.)

Sigh of relief (literally) that all went well and the whole family is home safe and sound.


5:08 PM  
Blogger sgeddes said...

He is a beautiful addition to your family! A Very Merry Christmas and congratulations.

5:09 PM  
Blogger DPUTiger said...

I'm partial to "Jersey Boy" of the nicknames you've mentioned :) Has a great ring to it IMO! Glad you like my row robin quilts. I appreciate you taking the time to read my little bloggity blog!

Congrats! I'm glad everyone is home happy and healthy!

5:18 PM  
Blogger Mag said...

Mr. Mag says, "Chunky" & "Monkey" and that's a beautiful baby! Congratulations!

5:21 PM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

Oh he's such a cutie! (Of course) Congratulations! I'm glad you both made it through safely. =)

5:22 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Congratulations! I'm so happy that everyone is happy and healthy!

Aww, see, I used to blog, but now I have a baby, all I can do is half-assedly put up baby pics once a month heh. And yeah, I hear ya about the whole blogging baby mommy thing, having gone through the whole thing with m/cs myself.

But...I would love to see Jersey Boy from time to time :).

Much love, and MERRY freakin' Christmas to you guys!!! (oh, my dh's sister is a 19th scheduled c-sec baby too!).

5:30 PM  
Blogger Virtuous said...


Giggle @ mommy-blog Honestly we are cool with it! ;o)

6:10 PM  
Blogger Amysatx said...

Beautiful baby! You all look so happy!! I for one would be ok with baby pics "all the effin' time" least for awhile!

6:13 PM  
Blogger Trillian42 said...

Oh, honey! He's adorable!!! And I guess technically I've already hugged him, since you were knocked up at MDS&W, but give him one from me anyway. :)

And please - even if you ever turned into one of those "all baby knits all the time" bloggers, we KNOW they would be quirky things like the tick hats.

Congratulations to all of you, and welcome to the little Jersey Monkey!

6:15 PM  
OpenID bonne-amie said...

He's a beautiful baby! Congratulations. I'm sure Chunky is thrilled to be a big brother.

6:17 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

What a cutie he is! I hope you are able to rest and let other folks take care of you for a while.


6:29 PM  
Blogger Vaedri said...


6:32 PM  
Blogger Amby said...

Congratulations on your (early) wee Christmas gift...he's beautiful!!!

6:35 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Congratulations on your new addition!

6:37 PM  
OpenID emileeknits said...

Congradulations and much love to your adorable family!

6:38 PM  
Blogger Disco said...

Yay for brothers. Chunkito is a-freakin-dorable. I just wanna squish him all up in my arms and kiss him. Love the pic of him in his chair.

Also yay for scheduled sections. They rock.

Hope the small person isn't being TOO harsh on you right now, and you're able to get some good sleep.

Big hugs to all the Bezzies. xxxxx

Ooh, and my verification word is 'drype' - an anagram of 'dyper'!

7:09 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Congrats congrats congrats!!! What a little sweety.

7:10 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

I am so thrilled for you and your family! Congrats! The baby is darling, and Chunky and Dad look appropriately happy. Congratulations a thousand times over!

7:47 PM  
Blogger kristi said...

Ah, another mom with two boys - there is a special place for us I am told. I guess I became one of those mommy bloggers - eesh!

He looks awesome and Im partial to Jersey Boy as well!

7:55 PM  
Blogger Batty said...

He is beautiful! What a cute little guy, and already so alert!

7:57 PM  
Blogger buttercup said...

I wanna come up there and hug that baby! And smoosh the Chunkster (but don't tell him that. He'll hate he!)

I'm totally up for baby sitting when you and DMS want a night out. I can spoil Chunky just fine while watching the little one.

8:00 PM  
Blogger IrishgirlieKnits said...

Awwwwww....I got goosebumpies!! SO exciting to see you and baby and Chunky and dad so happy!! What a fabulous Christmas present!! Such a cutie!!!

Big big hugs!!! Congratulations!!!

8:08 PM  
Blogger weezalana said...

Congratulations to all of you! He is absolutely adorable!

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Susan said...

He's beautiful! Congratulations!

8:47 PM  
Blogger Rebel said...

Congratulations on your new little Jersey Boy! Chunky's a big brother!!!! =)

9:08 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

Yay, pictures :) I find these things never go as plans - you just have to roll with all. Congratulations!

9:45 PM  
Blogger Mamma said...

Oh my goodness he is beautiful. His head is so round with those chubby cheeks. I'm in love. I'm so happy for you. It's funny that you say you won't post too many baby pictures. When sweet pea was a tiny one I felt like I would get lynched if I didn't include a baby picture in each post lol. Maybe that was just pressure from the grandparents.

9:46 PM  
Blogger Elspeth said...

So let me get this straight, first you have a Thanksgiving baby and now a Christmas baby? What's next, Groundhog Day? ;) Congratulations!

9:47 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Congratulations, what a great Christmas present! I agree, you look great girl! We'd read you anyways even if you got a bit more of the baby on there. Hehe..I thought the latest tulip was the hint after I read Friday's post. Another vote for Jersey Boy too! Take care and rest when you can!

9:48 PM  
Blogger Beverly said...

Beautiful boy! Congrats!

10:41 PM  
Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

Happy Birthday Little Monkey!

Glad that all went well, if not perfect...close enough, eh?

10:53 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Congrats! Super cute boys all around!

12:27 AM  
Anonymous Audrey S. said...

So much for ever finding the toilet seat in the "down" position in your house!

He's beautiful. Congratulations on the bestest Christmas present for everyone!

12:41 AM  
Anonymous Suzanne said...

Congrats! He's beautiful!

12:42 AM  
Blogger Pam the Yarn Goddess said...

I can't believe I didn't know you were preggers! Congratulations!! I promise I won't breathe on the screen so any stray germs won't wiggle their way through (living in California, nothing is frozen and needs to thaw out). I'm so happy for you!

2:08 AM  
Blogger Pam the Yarn Goddess said...

Uh... forget that frozen part. I just reread the post and saw that MS' sperm was pickled, not frozen. Duh.

2:12 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

He is some cute little snowball!!

I have to say, I think it's great you didn't blog about it- it makes it that much more exciting! I hate knowing from 6 weeks when someone is pregnant, my own trials and failures aside because it takes forever to get that baby here already!! I think the earliest I've shared (with parents mind you) is 9 weeks, and that bit me on my butt.

PeeWee had health issues- major ones and we never told a soul about them except my parents so they were prepared to be long term sitters to big brother. People couldn't understand why we didn't share, but then they would have felt sorry for us instead of excited. And Big Brother would have worried, just not fair.

Your guy is so cute and you, my dear, look fabulous!!!

6:54 AM  
Blogger Kay aka dkswife said...

Such an angel! I am very happy for your and Dr. MS.

6:57 AM  
OpenID pyewacketsid said...

Gorgeous child, awesome family. Congrats again. :-)

7:00 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

He's so cute! Congratulations!

7:02 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Congrats, Bezzie - you certainly pulled the wool over our eyes! Tee hee...bad joke....umm...OK.

I was talking to Pam and Cristi and we came to the realization that when we saw you at MDSW you were, um, already on your way. But so early that none of us had an idea, you sneaky thing! (Sounds like you may have not either :P)

He's a handsome Little Monkey!!! Cheers and cookies for the Christmas Baby!

7:15 AM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

You all look very happy. Congratulations! and a very Happy Birthday to you and the little one. Don't sweat the mommy-knit blog thing. I think people read blogs just as much for the connection as for the knitting content. Have a wonderful and peaceful (!) holiday.

7:23 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Congratulations! He's adorable! Now, when can I come up to you to meet the Little Monkey? I'm sure Chunky and Dan will find something to do to occupy themselves while I fawn all over/get my baby fix.... :)

7:27 AM  
Blogger Poops said...

I want you to know that my mouse has decided not to work for the past two days, but heaven and earth (and this fool computer) won't keep me away from seeing this new baby!

He's beautiful! Welcome little one!

Congratulations to you and the whole Bezzie clan! What a lovely Christmas miracle!

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AAAAhhhhhh!!! He is a KEEPER!!! You all look great!! Nice little Christmas outfit to bring him home in. My vote goes to Monkey!! Cause there would be a DrMS, a Chunky, a Monkey and Bezzie!!! They all go together!!
Keep sending and post the pics!!! Love, Mom

8:11 AM  
Blogger knottygnome said...

congratulations and welcome to the new kidling!

8:36 AM  
Blogger ZantiMissKnit said...

Congrats!!!! He is adorable!

8:45 AM  
Anonymous Rosi G. said...

Ay que cosita mas linda!!! iwannabitethosecheeks!


And stupid hospital policies SUCK! I'm proud that big brother waited patiently tho. :D

Oh, and don't forget to take pictures with the sweater because eventually you WILL be able to blog it. LOL Like in March!

9:24 AM  
Blogger maggie said...

What a cute little niblet! I know what you mean about mommy posts. Mine could easily turn into a giant Monkeypalooza with my own girl's antics.
I'm glad to hear of all the good things happening to you. Merry Christmas and happy baby!

10:04 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Congrats to the Bezzie family! He's a cute little meatball. Merry Christmas!

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, what a story! Congrats to all of you, and you sure do keep secrets well!!

11:06 AM  
Blogger Stickyfingers said...

Guilty as charged. I am surely one of the mommy bloggers . . and I make no apologies.
She's the only interesting thing going on around here most days! (Otherwise, my blog would read "today I cleaned the toilet".)

Congrats on your tiny sweetheart. Glad to see him!

12:36 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Damn, seems like half the blog-world is having babies ;). I'd say I was a wee bit jealous, but as a mommy of five (one "ripped" and four pushed out :), I think I've exceeded my quota of kids ;).

Congratulations to you and Dr. MS (and big brother, Chunkie, of course). You all look wonderful, and Boy the Second is just a little Q.T. ;).

P.S. My husband, who never reads blogs, actually looked for your blog the other day to read up on your "baby news." Ha! I thought that was pretty funny :).

3:02 PM  
Blogger Heather said...


I'm so thrown for a loop! I saw the picture and thought, "Boy, Bezzie's sister sure looks a lot like her." Obviously I'm a little slow on the uptake and it took a couple of readings for me to grasp the fact that it was you, and therefore, your baby.

Anyway, Congrats! He's a lucky boy with a great family!

3:03 PM  
Anonymous Jan B. said...

Baby pictures all the 'effing' time would be fine with me! I'm a gal who could never make her own kids so I LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing other people's kids!

Congratulations...what a year!!

3:09 PM  
Anonymous etcgirl said...

Sooper sleuthy seekrit! Well done on that front (and all the bumpless photos), Mz. Bez.

I think you should dub him Stocky for the purposes of blogland. Short for Stocking, of course, and a right proper brother-sound for Chunky.


Mazel tov, dear. And may your ankles return soon.

3:32 PM  
Anonymous joymama said...

Peace and love to all of you!

4:21 PM  
Blogger April said...

Bezzie! He is gorgeous! You make pretty babies!

4:54 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Awww, look at Chunky II! Some newborns come out pretty funny looking (my daughter was born face-first, instead of head-first, so she came out with her face all bruised and torn up) - wrinkly or with a pointy head, LOL, but your little one really came out cute!

We'll excuse you if want to blather on endlessly about the baby! And now that I know the gender, I can get started on a crocheted baby gift for you! By the way, you should have scheduled the c-section for the 26th so he could have been born on my birthday! : )

5:17 PM  
Blogger kristi said...

OK - I can't find your e-mail, so Im hoping you get this...I need your addy and I have a little something something for the fam.

5:31 PM  
Blogger kemtee said...

Sometimes surprises are best.

Congrats, Bezz. Now get some rest, eh?

6:04 PM  
Blogger Llamabean said...

Congratulations, he looks healthy and beautiful.

6:51 PM  
Blogger whichendisup said...

hehe... pickled sperm. Thank goodness this cutie got the unpickled kind -- he's a handsome lil' bugger! Very happy to hear everything went relatively well and everyone is home safe and sound.


12:04 AM  
Blogger Linnea said...

Congratulations to you and your family! He's darling! I'm thrilled for you.

4:42 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Congrats! HE's a cutie!! You can post all of the baby pics you want.

11:12 AM  
Blogger maryannlucy said...

He is gorgeous! Chunky and Dr MD look so proud, and once again you look as though you have taken it all in your stride!!! Bezzie, I am so delighted for you...huge hugs to you XXXXXX

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

Bezzie, you are a sneaky snake.
He's adorable.

9:23 PM  
Blogger Calling on Kahlo said...

Congratulations! He is adorable!

12:37 PM  
Blogger Libi said...

Congratulations! I was at the hospital with my cousin's girl (she's 21). She was having her first about the same time you were! Her's was 6.4 and 19.

Best to you and your entire family.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Mango said...

Awwww, what a QT-pie! Congrats to you and your newly expanded family.


5:26 PM  
Blogger Nell said...

Congrats!!!! JB is adorable!

5:09 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Congrats to you!!! Very precious!

10:51 PM  
Blogger GURO said...

Fantastic news! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you guys.

7:38 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

You sneaky beeyotch! 9or did I just miss that you were pregnant?. Possible) congrats! Can't wait to hear what blog name you come up with. And I am also pleased that it won't be all baby all the time. since I am child-free by choice, I don't mind the odd baby post. Just not 24/7.

9:30 PM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

And, as the mom of two 6 year olds who are not twins, let me just offer a wee bit of insight gained from personal experience - you CAN get pregnant when you're nursing.

So watch out for sober sperm. I'm just sayin.

11:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oucCongratulations -

Why do you say such negative things about other moms who are excited to have their first children, maybe even second or third, (unlike you evidently) and because it is such an amazingly awsome experience for them happen to want to knit little things and also want to continue to share the happniess on their blogs?

Just a thought.

12:41 AM  

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