Sunday, May 17, 2009

Brain Boogers

I finished knitting something this week.

But I can't show it to you. Yet.

Instead something silly has been knocking around my brain.

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Random Waffle Picture: Bacon Cheddar.

Why do women spend so much money on their underwear?

And why do they put so much stock in feeling sexy in underwear?

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Shitty Blurry Waffle Picture: Carrot Cake.

Do we really need a $40+ piece of clothing holding up our tits to make us feel confident and sexy?

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Washed Out Color Waffle Picture: Apple Cinnamon Walnut.

But more ponderous to me is this: How come MEN don't spend $40+ on the 1/4 yard or so of swishy fabric it takes to make a pair of underwear by Filipino children in a sweatshop to feel confident and sexy?

On the day Barack Obama decided to get into politics sit in front of his underwear drawer and try to pick out the pair of underpants that would give him the confidence to enter the life of political servitude?

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Recycled Waffle Freezer Storage Containment Unit Picture: Old Bread Bag.

Is it a women's lib thing? We burned our bras and made them less conical and dropped the constricting girdles and made our unmentionables "sexier" and somewhere along the line started equating sexiness with confidence and likability and coined the phrase "granny panties" to shun our more archaic underwear beginnings?

Or is it something Madison Avenue cooked up? Buy this teensey scrap of lace and feel good about yourself! You'll be desirable!

I dunno.

I just don't get it.

But I can't really cast waffles. I succumbed to the silly toe-peer pressure those damn Jersey girls at the office put upon me.

All their talk about people who don't paint their toenails and get pedicures finally got to me. I bought a $1.09 bottle of nail polish and have been keeping my toenails painted.

I still won't waste the money to get a pedicure. (The thought of people touching my feet in a loosely regulated field where foot fungus and toenail infections can easily be transmitted and then paying them money for doing these things I just can't bring myself to do.)

But you know what, I think I just answered my own question with that admission right there.

Whatever flips your cookie--or waffle.

And now you all are wondering what color Barack Oboner's underpants are.

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23 Comments:

Blogger Laura said...

LOL, my thoughts exactly! Bras are an absolute and total ripoff! I refuse to pay $50+ dollars for a bra. The most expensive bra I ever bought was a $45 low-back halter bra to wear with my bridesmaid's dress for my sister's wedding last year. I wore it once, and it's been sitting in my dresser ever since.

Sometimes I think bras must all be designed by men, because I have the most terrible time trying to find ones that fit me right and that are still comfortable. I refuse to wear underwires (don't have much to hold up anyway, ha, ha!), and I despise any that are lacy and scratchy or have a ton of padding, or a lot of seams. I have a drawer full of bras, but only two that I wear regularly, because it's just so hard finding ones I can wear all day at work without being miserable.

And don't even get me started on pantyhose! Being short and also having some extra pounds to lose makes finding pantyhose that fit right a year impossibility. The only time I wear skirts anymore is in the summer, because I can wear them with sandals and no pantyhose.

And men think they have it rough when they have to wear ties - ha!

I do like to paint my toenails during the summer, but I've never had a pedicure. I'm too cheap to get one. I've only had my nails manicured 3 times in my lifetime, and two of those times were for weddings I was in. I've never had acrylics, either. I can't see spending $40 every two weeks on them.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Kay aka dkswife said...

http://www.wikihow.com/Crochet-a-Granny-Square

Bezzie, try the above link for the Granny Square Bitch. For some reason, that tutorial clicked.

As far as Barack Obama's underwear. I say he goes commando!

Bras/panties do not make me feel sexy. They make me feel constricted, but I do understand the purpose. Sad but true, I buy mine at....Walmart. Bet you would have never guessed it ;p

12:15 PM  
Blogger Kay aka dkswife said...

Oh I polish my piglets too. They make my ugly feet not so ugly ;p

I do miss my manicure. Good grief, it is like crack to me.

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok....I wear "granny panties". Why...cause they fit and cover everything.
Oh! that is funny that you bring up pedicures! Julia O'Malley just wrote a column on how she got an infection going to oneplace and how AK is not the best place to get something like that. No REGS!
Are you doing the research on the kind of unerwear Obama wears?
And by the way those waffles look good. I think that I am going to have to try my hand at some almond flour ones.
Love, Mom

12:32 PM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

I dunno, I think Penny's Power Panties have something to 'em.

4:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off, the waffles look great. What a variety!

Bras & panties: You find what you like but then the next time you go to buy them...they quit making the style or "improved" the style. Yeah, right. Pantyhose: Does anyone wear them anymore? We went to a wedding last weekend & only a handful of gals had pantyhose on (I was one but only had thigh-hi on). I don't mind going without hose when the weather is nicer(& my legs are tanned!).

I do like my piggies painted in the summer. Never used to do it, but Erin has gotten me doing it.

I'm thinking our fearless leader goes commando. He doesn't want those unsightly panty lines.

Love, Aunt Susan

4:17 PM  
Blogger DPUTiger said...

Aunt Susan is absolutely right. As soon as I find a bra that I like, it gets discontinued almost immediately.

Glad you love your waffle maker!

5:01 PM  
Blogger Poops said...

Underpants must cover plenty of acreage. No pretty panties for me, please. Big, white, and cotton.

But bras? I got to keep the girls up where they belong. Rather than buy an ill-fitting bra, I'd do just as well to tuck the girls into the waistband of my grannie panties and call it a day.

I also won't pay more than 20 bucks for a bra. Period.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Actually, I am wondering what color your toes are ;)

Thankfully I have small boobs and can wear bras from Wal-mart that cost me $10....perfect.

Exercise makes me feel sexy...not what undies or bras I have on. Hell I love being able to wearing sundresses in the summer with with no bra and no undies...perfect!

I haven't wore pantyhose in 20 years.....I bare leg it all the way...those things are just stupid.

I paint my toes nails all summertime....has not a darn thing with being sexy...has to do with making my size 11 feet not look so size 11. My feet are my father's feet just smaller. Polish makes them look prettier in sandles...otherwise I would scare people in all summer long.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Alisha said...

Oh and those waffles look so great!

7:39 PM  
Blogger Rebel said...

I honestly don't wonder about Obama's underwear. I rarely wonder much beyond 'boxers or briefs?' with any particular guy. But some guys do pay a lot of money for underwear.... mostly gay guys & metrosexuals... but they do.

Part of the women's underwear thing is probably marketing and just the whole societal pressure for women to be perfect head to toe. But then there's the asthetic factor, I just like to know that my underwear matches, I like to see cute undies when I open up my drawer in the morning, and moreover I like having the apropriate underwear for the outfit I'm wearing... no plaid panties if I'm wearing light kahki pants! Similarly flesh tone bras under white shirts (not white!). I don't know... it's just one of those things, like making sure you're wearing the right shoes or that your top and slacks match... it's just more clothing.

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Kelli said...

I wear 2 that I really like. I'm sure that I paid $30-35 per, but they are the only two I wear. I love the way they lift and shape (gravity is no longer my friend), but they aren't exactly sexy. lol Serviceable, but not sexy.

8:14 PM  
Blogger Carina said...

I like them soft and in pretty colors. That's about it. If it's on sale and soft and in a pretty color (and I just had to throw some out due to wear and tear), then I'll get it.

As for pedicures, though, mmmm. I miss those. I'd get one a year or so, just for me, and it's heavenly to have a combined massage-scrub-soak-and polish. Same with manicures. They were always my treat, but I just don't have the money for them at all anymore. *sigh*

8:58 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Hehe..love all those waffles!! Now just pop them in the toaster or microwave?? As for peeps undies..I don't care LOL...I don't wanna talk about bras though...ick! ;)

10:14 PM  
Anonymous Andey said...

Dang it, Bezzie, I didn't eat breakfast this morning, and those waffles look delicious.

As far as bras? My vast tracts of land require sturdy, well-made bras. I'm willing to pay more for one that fits properly and makes my clothes look better... but I'm after function more than sexy.

7:23 AM  
Blogger Crafty Christina said...

Those waffles look so good. Smart idea on freezing them.

I hate bras. Hate them. But I need them. Ever since nursing my sweet little munchkin, they're not quite as ahem, high, as they used to be. I don't bother with the whole sexy bras/undies either. I only buy them when they are sale for buy one, get one half off.

I only paint my toes during sandal season. It just seems like so much trouble. I like pedicures but I'm extremely ticklish and I giggle the entire time. They look at me like I'm stupid, so I only go for special occasions.

7:47 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

Want bacon and cheddar waffles!

8:58 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

The whole sexy movment is desigend to keep us women under the thumb of the patriarchy.

Bras, however, do serve a useful purpose. Pain-free movement. No bra=tender boobies to me. So I want a bra to reduce bouncage. Sexy is not a criteria.

9:15 AM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

Dude, as much as I hate bra shopping, when I find a good one, I feel awesome all day.

And do not underestimate the Power of the Panties!!

11:03 AM  
Anonymous Necia said...

Ok so are you going to share some of these waffle recipes. Im an appliance fanatic, and I believe I may own 2 waffle irons, and I"ve NEVER thought to make my own waffles. It's always been Aunt Jemima. Cee would prolly consider me super woman if I made my own waffles.

11:30 AM  
Blogger janna said...

You know, as long as they aren't spending YOUR money on THEIR undewear, I think it's an individual choice! And as for pedicures -- I do see a lot of feet in sandals that are absolutely disgusting looking. If you're going to have them hanging out, think about how they look. And for some people, that involves having someone else do it for them.

I'd like a bacon waffle, please.

(My verificaton word is undies! No shit!)

2:18 PM  
Blogger SiressYorkie said...

I think I love you Bezzie.

And OOOOH! HOW #*&$ COOL IS THIS!

My word verification is...

HELLYA! Just the person punctuation mark for your most excellently written blog entry. Someone up there is doing the Fist Power Pump of Righteousness in agreement!

2:26 AM  
Blogger J.P.F. said...

I am THE brain booger. Recognize. YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE SECRET TWILIGHT FILM?!?!?!?

11:55 PM  

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