Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My Schnit Doesn't Stink!

Working at some law firms you will find that, to use the tired saying "looks are everything."

When the firm moved to Newark a little over a year ago, before we moved Partner B kept describing the new office to us as "a real Class A space."

Apparently "Class A" extends to the bathrooms.

Now, I love our new bathrooms. They still have the stupid code lock on the doors--but this time it's not to prevent random suburban rapists who might be hiding behind the toilet paper dispenser--it's to prevent workers who don't work for our firm on other floors coming upstairs to use our bathrooms.

They're kind of a depressing overall color of gray and they're kind of poorly lit (but maybe it's just the gray sucking the light out of the bathroom) but they're wider than the old office's bathroom.

The old office had non-ADA compliant bathrooms that were narrow and hard to navigate.

Anyway, on Tuesday I walked into the bathroom and saw one of these on the counter:


It's a teeny little trashcan that's about a foot tall and about 8" across. It was placed over one of the holes in the counter that is a trash hole. (You know what I mean? Built in trash cans into the counter...)

The first thing that popped into my mind was that it was a receptacle for used feminine hygiene products (because for some reason when they build the new bathroom--they didn't put the little wall-trash cans on the side of each stall--you have to carry your bizniz out of the stall and throw it away with the used paper towels.

Curiosity got the best of me and I opened it to find a lone can of Lysol in there.

I got to talking with the Office Services lady (who is kind of like the everything-lady in the office, office supplies, coffee setups for meetings, etc.) and she was apparently told by Partner A to order something to hide the can of Lysol that is there for people to squirt after they drop a dookie.

Now explain to me how people are supposed to know that there's Lysol in a trashcan on the counter--covering a trash can no less?

Not to mention the thing looks stupid sitting on the counter like that. (As do the fingertowel holders that are sitting on the counter sitting right next to--you got it--the built in towel dispenser).

So I took it upon myself to whip up a little something for the Office Services lady.

Pardon the blurriness.


That's right.

It's a Lysol Cozy.


Since it's a prototype it's actually a miniature version that fits a travel size can of Lysol.*

I even went so far as to knit it in the firm's official depressing colors--gray and dark blue.

You'll note that they're actually scraps from Chunky's weird necked zipper sweater I knit him recently.

Office Services lady loved it and wants a big one for Christmas!

I don't know about that! Maybe if she buys pine-fresh Lysol.

*No I didn't waste money on a travel size can of Lysol--it came as part of the baby swag they send you home with from the hospital.

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Blogger Poops said...

Now, if you could knit her a Lysol cozy that has a Barbie top with a skirt that covers the can..well, that'd just be awesome! Christmas is coming, after all...

8:58 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:59 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Ha, ha, too funny that the Lysol has it's own little storage space! God forbid anyone sees a can of Lysol hanging out in a fancy-schmancy law firm bathroom, LOL! Cute idea for the Lysol cozy!

Speaking of bathroom rapes, a young woman actually got raped in a campus bathroom at my alma mater (Cleveland State) while I was attending there (true story). It was in a building in a sort of isolated area near the edge of campus (the campus is on the outskirts of downtown). The guy was hiding in one of the stalls, waiting for someone to attack. I don't know if the guy was ever caught. It creeped me out though, and I always thing about it whenever I use a public bathroom.

9:00 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Oops, meant to say "think about it". Tired and typing too fast!

9:01 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

That's funny ... and very creative. I should have realized you'd have a better solution than a dippy-looking trash can ;).

9:24 PM  
Blogger T. Budnik said...

Oh my goodness. This is the funniest thing I've read all day long. Haha!

I don't know what's worse: seeing a can of Lysol or smelling dookie. I'm going to go with the smell.

My office keeps the air freshener spray on the floor between stalls. You can spritz before you flush!


9:29 PM  
Blogger Mag said...

Cute, very cute.

9:48 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Oh wow! That is wild!

12:36 AM  
Blogger IrishgirlieKnits said...

Awesome!!! And I'm surprised you didn't notice that it could be a cozy for other things too...hehehe...I know..mind. gutter.

1:44 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

That is hysterical. You really have to wonder what people are thinking sometimes.

6:22 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

I think the trash can is a silly idea - I bet more people will inadvertantly drop their business in there thinking it is a trash can. What is the problem with having a can of Lysol on the counter for all to see? That is what we have in our bathroom - a tray that has hand lotion and air freshner. Everybody poops - why be secretive about it?

7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the first time I have evr heard of a work place having Lysol/airfreshened in the bathroom. I guess I have been up here on The Dark Side of the Moon too long! I think that your idea is better than a trashcan though and as everyone else has said with the trashcan someone will drop their business in it. Love, Mom

8:19 AM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

Our bathrooms don't have individual cans for used feminine protection either. I hate it when I have to come out of the bathroom with a little bundle in my hand.....But I wouldn't be offended by a can of lysol on the counter. Does someone find the cans offensive?

8:43 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

you are so freakin' funny.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Cindy in Happy Valley said...

I am speechless....

8:53 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

You are hilarious!! I love it!

9:24 AM  
Blogger DPUTiger said...

And here I was wondering why you'd have a step-lid can on a counter. That's nearly as dumb as having the can there to hide the lysol. Sheesh!

10:23 AM  
Blogger weezalana said...

HAHAHAHAHA! I think you should knit another one that has the face of Partner A on it.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

A can of Lysol is unprofessional? Really? It's a bathroom fer crissake! Oh well, the lysol cozy is hysterical. And will keep alid on the problem!

5:42 PM  
Blogger Crafty Christina said...

There are no words for how hhilarious you are!

6:37 PM  
Blogger Kathy Kathy Kathy said...

Bezzie, I am so sorry to inform you, but as the public liaison officer for the bathroom etiquette police, I must. All handmade bathroom object cozies must be crocheted, pursuant to the Jello as Food Act of 1957, Appendix L, subsection 7.

9:41 PM  

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