Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Buyer Beware

Warning! Large Rant Ahead!

Oh how I can list the problems with this listing for this house:

Multi-family Property Status: Active
County: Essex 2 total unit(s)
Year Built: 1920 Handicap features
Complex features: Unfinished Basement,Total Bedrooms: 5,Total Full Bath: 3 Hardwood floors
Parking space(s): 4 Heating features: 2 Units, Radiators - Steam,Gas-Natural,Gas Water Heater
Forced air heat Central air conditioning
Cooling features: 1 Unit Exterior features: 2 Car Width Driveway, Blacktop Driveway
Exterior construction: Vinyl Siding Roofing: Asphalt Shingle
Unit 1 has 6 room(s) Unit 1 has 3 bedroom(s)
Unit 1 has 2 bath(s) Unit 1 features: Bedrooms, Dining Room, Eat-In Kitchen, Laundry Room, Living Room, Porch,Carbon Monoxide Detector, Dryer, Kitchen Exhaust Fan, Range/Oven - Gas, Refrigerator, Smoke Detector, Washer,Handicapmodified
Unit 2 has 5 room(s) Unit 2 has 2 bedroom(s)
Unit 2 has 1 bath(s) Unit 2 is renting for $ 1250
Unit 2 features: Bedrooms, Dining Room, Eat-In Kitchen, Living Room,Carbon Monoxide Detector, Kitchen Exhaust Fan, Range/Oven - Gas, Refrigerator Unit 3 has 1 room(s)
Unit 3 features: Attic, Den Approximate lot is 54 X 105
Corner lot Approximately 0.13 acre(s)
Lot size is less than 1/2 acre Utilities present: Public Sewer,Gas-Natural,Public Water
Middle School: BLOOMFIELD

Yeah, its OK, I know you won't read all that crap. I originally wanted to link directly to the listing but thought better of it. I did on Facebook. I don't think that's as traceable. Although it probably is. I dunno.

The listing irks me because:

1. Refrigerator in Unit 2 is NOT INCLUDED. We bought that damn fridge with our own money. If I have to bring it to our new apartment and put it in our living room, I will! (The new apartment has a fridge. Any Jersinians wanna fridge? 3 years old, will sell for cheap!)

2. The driveway is 3 car widths wide. Well, when there's not a dumpster in it.

3. Unit 2 does NOT rent for $1250. That's not what we pay. And it won't be renting come April 24th! Unless he's got someone lined up. But I doubt that.

I doubt that because for some stupid effing reason Realtors from all over are calling US to schedule tours of the home.

Hey! We are NOT the people selling the house.

Call Landlord or Landlord's son, and then one of them can call us to let us know when they'll have walk-thrus of the home.

After getting four phone calls today alone I called Landlord's son to ask him why the hell they're calling us. He said he didn't know why they were calling us and how they got our number and would talk to the realtor.

Really? I didn't give them our number. Someone must have given them our number.

Two hours later another realty company called to schedule a tour.

Dr. Mad Scientist was able to talk to them this time and he informed them they needed to speak to the owner. They told him they were told to call us to schedule walk thrus.

Of course they couldn't say WHO told them this. And now they're allegedly coming through between 4 and 7 p.m. to view the house. Greaaaaaaat. Probably as we sit down for dinner.

Dr. Mad Scientist told me that he told them we'd leave the doors unlocked.

Again, no.

I'll leave the interior door unlocked that gets you to our place via the landlord's place downstairs, but I'm NOT leaving the private entrance door unlocked. Please come into my home and steal my nicely boxed possessions!

Look, I'm not selling this damn house. It's not MY responsibility to effing schedule the damned tours. That's the owner's job.

We're very flexible and don't care when they walk through, but I'm not going out of my way to call three or four different realty companies and schedule times to walk thru the house--and that's only our floor of the house. Am I supposed to call the Landlord and see what his schedule is like?

I do that crap like that all day at work. I'm not getting paid to do it at home.


Two more weeks. Two more weeks.

In the meantime I will be unplugging the phone.

And leaving this sign up on both doors:


Dr. Mad Scientist said the fridge part sounded bitchy. But I know that often people use appliances as part of the wheeling and dealing process in putting offers in on homes. I don't want people playing with things that don't belong to them.

Not to mention the realtors in this whole debacle are very misinformed as it is.


Blogger turtlegirl76 said...


6:29 AM  
Blogger Plumfan said...

Wow! Where's the shocked avatar? There's gonna be a lot of people angry the owner wasted their time with a misleading listing. It will be obvious to anyone coming through that you are leaving.

I thought it was funny that there's a unit 3 in the attic - what kind of rent do the squirrels pay?

6:50 AM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

We had to buy a fridge in one of our rental units, too. I always thought it was odd that an apt didn't have to have a refrigerator. What do they think people will do with their food? We bought a used one and then sold it to the next tennants.

7:09 AM  
Blogger CBear said...

WOW... Just wow!

As far as the fridge - maybe change the sign to read "Fridge NOT INCLUDED with this unit, but willing to sell for $_____"

Otherwise, take it with you (not fun, I know - but with enough bribes of pizza and beer, someone will help). Put it in your new storage/garage thingy - and use it as your storage fridge. We have our second fridge in the basement holding drinks and the extra Costco sized stuff.

7:47 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

I'm guessing one of the lawyers in your office could weigh in on the legality of offering your refrigerator as part of the purchase deal. That's not just annoying, that's false advertising.

8:05 AM  
Blogger Ellie said...

Holy crap. That is all kinds of wrong.... Here's to hoping the next two weeks aren't too stressful.

8:46 AM  
Blogger knottygnome said...

wow, that's pretty bad. misleading potential buyers is not a great way to sell the house. hopefully it'll bite them in the rear before the end.

8:47 AM  
Blogger Cindy in Happy Valley said...

Tell Dr. MS it isn't nearly bitchy enough!!

10:00 AM  
Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

You should used a blood-red marker for your sign...make it super-bold, cuz, um, people don't read.

Put a sign ON the fridge saying you own it and will sell it for x amount to the new buyer/renter.

And good luck. Although, can't you just say no? They can wait two weeks. What is Zorba and son gonna do, kick you out? :)

10:02 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

What a nightmare! My limited experience with realtors didn't leave a very good impression of the profession as a whole, and saying they are "misinformed" seems nice ;).

Just FYI. When we were doing walk-throughs of this house, the tenants were usually here. I think if I were renting a place that my landlord was trying to sell, I'd be there during the walk-throughs. It's not like he can kick you out or anything ;).

12:43 PM  
Blogger T. Budnik said...

Can I submit your note to haha!

Since it's all about wheeling and dealing, sell the darn refrigerator to Zorba & Sons so they can make their place look that much better. Haha!

1:38 PM  
Blogger Elspeth said...

I think you are totally right to mention the fridge. Not bitchy at all. We had 2 fridges growing up - it can be handy!

3:27 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Good Lord! I know you'll be glad to get out of there! I can't see anyone being a rush to rent it once they come in and see the falling-apart ceiling with the squirrels. I sure hope the cats don't get loose when people come by to see it.

Maybe it's a Midwestern thing, but rental properties here in the Cleveland area almost always come with appliances (except maybe a washer and dryer - I brought my own when I moved into this house I'm renting now).

3:28 PM  
Blogger Crafty Christina said...

In one of my apartments (three apartments ago), I had to buy my own fridge too. When I moved again, the new place came with a fridge. So, I sold it to the landlord. See if your landlord will pay you for it, then it can be legally included in their listing.

6:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

-Itchy?! I don't think so you are just stating the facts!
"That is all you need to do, Madam. Just state the facts."

Ok...So my Joe Friday ain't too good!

Love, Mom

7:13 PM  
Blogger Ina said...

Not nice, but sadly unsurprising, given all the other BS you've had to deal with. Counting the days with you!

8:34 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Cripes! I don't blame you about the fridge! Unless they want to buy it from you for FULL price you paid!! Idiots!

9:45 PM  
Blogger Miss T said...

Yikes. Sorry you're having to deal with all that!

7:49 AM  
Blogger maryannlucy said...

OMG!! 2 weeks, 2 weeks, keep chanting that x

2:22 PM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

Two more weeks. Amazing. Once again I really think you're up there on the list of horrible landlord/tenant deals.

8:03 PM  
Anonymous Katie said...

Oh, if I were you, I'd point out the holes in the ceiling and how it's leaky. I'd also point out the dumpster and how that's from all of Zorba's stuff when his sewer backed up. I'd point out EVERYTHING. That would teach them to give out your number for showings.

10:59 PM  
Blogger DPUTiger said...

Yikes. And good luck.

Just remember, you can tolerate ANYTHING for two weeks. Hang in there!

6:16 PM  
Blogger LBorealis said...

You're a much kinder person than I am. I go into hysterics when I know someone is going to be in our apartment when we're not here. One too many close calls with the cats getting out. Talk about stress.

What's up with landlords and fridges, anyway? We ended up going halvsies with ours since the old one was moldy!

8:38 PM  
Blogger rtfgvb774 said...

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12:26 AM  

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