Wednesday, December 05, 2012

To get what you want, you’ve got to do it yourself

(I've been playing the piss out of The Flip Is Another Honey, Mike Doughty's latest CD and he does a great cover of this Cheap Trick song where the subject for this post came from).

Why do I bother?

Earlier this year I ordered a package of Chunky's football pictures.

The way they came in should have been a sign--they were with the 6th Grade Team's pictures.

The team picture wasn't his team.  His name was misspelled.  And his coach's name was omitted from the picture.  They were awful.  I spent a good portion of time crafting a fax to the picture company pointing out the numerous errors in the package I ordered and outlining the case as to why I would NOT be paying to have these pictures redone (as is their normal policy). 

They made good on correcting their incompetence--but I didn't get my pictures until a month after the football season had ended.

And today, I come home to find these proofs of Moochie and Baby Sister's daycare pictures.

Exhibit A, Baby Sister's Solo Picture:



So here's the deal.  I have no problem if you're one of those parents that sticks their little girls in big-ass hairbows, little hairbows, or big flowers.

That's cool.  It's YOUR baby.  I'm not going to tell you how to dress YOUR child.

But I am NOT ONE OF THOSE PARENTS.  I do NOT stick my daughter in hairbows.  Maybe the time will come--but as of now?  I do NOT put bows/flowers on her head.

The photographer stuck this shit on her head.

First off--GROSS.  I don't know where the hell that thing has been!  These people do tons of daycare photos.  Guess what happens in communal settings with small children?


I've done fucking bedbugs.  I am NOT doing lice. 

Exhibit B, Moochie and Baby Sister's dual picture (there is no solo picture of Moochie; boyfriend will NOT sit for solo portraits--some weird phobia or something..I dunno).



What the hell??????

Is my daughter not girly enough for these people?  Does she have to be feminized with this shit in her hair to take a cute picture?


I'm so pissed. 

But I figured I'd put it aside and at least order an 8X10 of the Moochie and Baby Sister picture--because seriously aside from that dumbasstastic hairdo they gave her, it's a great picture of the two of them.  And a huge milestone for Moochie--like I said, that kid NEVER sits for professional photographers.

So I go online to order.  I type in the password these asshats masquerading as children's photographers claim will let me access our proofs to order and guess what?  The password is no good.  It's expired or not yet activated ... or something.

Tomorrow morning two things will happen.

The photograph company (you can see their name in the picture of Baby Sister--they're based in Marlton, NJ--if you're a NJ parent beware of these people taking picture of your children--who knows what they'll do to them!) will find TWO nasty-ass emails from me.  One regarding the unauthorized use of hair props on my daughter which could have exposed her to fucking parasites.  And another about their stupid password not working; and

The manager of our daycare will find a terse email stating that I'm not happy with this company for the bow shenanigans and the faulty password and I hope they don't bother using them again.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to upload some photos to Shutterfly that I took of Baby Sister and Moochie that I'll have blown up into 8X10s to put on our portrait wall above the couch.  One of them I took on my cell phone, and I must say, it's not half bad.  Fuck these flim-flam "photographers" and their faulty websites.

To sum up, in the words of Cheap Trick--School Photographers:  They make it hard for the people today.

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Blogger Zonda said...

That is really gross that they just put a random bow/barrette on her! You said it perfectly, if you wanted to extra girlify her you would. It is a great picture other than that :)

9:17 PM  
Blogger janna said...

I actually like the little pink hair doo-dad (although that big white thing in the solo picture is slightly alarming), but I definitely think it's gross that they go around 'sharing' these things among kids. And also - yeah, who are they to re-style your kids???

11:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ummmmya! That is GROSS!! Who knows where those things have been!! And what kind of stuff they have!! Stick to your guns!

Love, Mom

11:47 PM  
Blogger Donna Lee said...

I never put things on my daughters' heads either. One time, standing in line at Kmart to get El's photo taken (she was a mostly bald baby), a woman told me I could use Karo syrup to stick a bow to her head. I said "yea, and I could attract every fly in the area at the same time!". What is it about little girls that they're not allowed to just be their adorable little selves?

7:23 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I am totally with you on the hair bows. "OMG, I am so insecure about people thinking my daughter is a boy..." Also, I think they look bizarre. And WHY would they feel the need to accessorize your child, without your consent? Messed up.

7:25 AM  
Blogger knottygnome said...

that is strange but i think that portrait photographers might just have a weird thing for flowers. i have several pictures from my childhood where they forced me to hold a flower (always fake too--talk about tacky). i think they're probably bored and are attempting to be "artsy."

not that that is any excuse, of course.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Cindy in (un) Happy Valley said...

I'm sure they thought it added "interest" to the photo, but seriously I can't believe that they haven't encountered a bow hating parent in the past. Maybe the photographer was a 15 year old.

That being said....Sis actually seems to dig it. Maybe she should have her own. Just sayin'.

2:29 PM  
Blogger JRS said...

Wow. I'd be beyond furious. That's such a good picture, except for the damn bow! I can't believe people stick those flowery headband things on their daughter's heads--they look ridiculous. I'd demand that they do a retake, free of charge!

5:30 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

I'm not a fan of those bows either (or as I think of them, garter belts on their head...!). I'm actually really surprised that they thought it necessary to add some sort of hair accessory! I think I'd be annoyed too!
I'm curious about the response you got from the daycare!

11:51 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Awww, I think Baby Sister looks adorable! But still, that is really weird that they put some random hair accessories on her. Maybe they thought no one would be able to tell she's a girl, even though she has on a pink top and a purple sweater, duh! I hope you get your money refunded.

4:50 PM  

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